New User Registration

Typical registration form.

As A Process

New user registration, often an ornate, overdone process in such failed online entities as FailTube, Yahoo mail, PayPal, iTunes and nearly all online gaming forums -- involving providing such details given to identity theft as your real name, mother's maiden name, a mobile number, the routing and account numbers of your checking account, your level of dedication to Dave Barry humor, the name of your first pet, and/or your work or student e-mail address.

However, Wikis, being open to the idea of shit for content, make it far easier to register and crap all over their websites.

(NB This is not to be confused with "Jew User Registration", the civic process whereby you can register your jew. IRL. For teh lulz.)

Types of Registration

No Registration ever -- 4chan

Anonymous does not forgive or forget any faggotry and only accepts letting people post without requiring registration, cookies, javascript, CAPTCHAs, etc. This was a foolproof plan until Kimmo Alm spamflooded the chans. Kek.

Fake anonymous -- AnonTalk

Although cookie stalking was done by many sites like eBay long ago, Kimmo Alm turned it into the basis of registration on AnonTalk where instead of having a nice name like ButtBugger and a password faggot123, you got a long string of unmemorizable gibberish for each. This is the cancer that is killing Anonymous.

No Registration Required -- TOW and Uncyclopedia

The Online Encyclopedia Anyone Can Vandalize

Wikipedia has two kinds of users. The namefag basement dwellers who register and piss their life away edit warring and the Anonymous basement dwellers who vandalize and give the namefags there a reason for being. Some argue that the vandals are the cause of Wikipedia's inaccuracy, but really they're all at fault for being faggots spending their lives edit warring on that site. When they die, nothing of value will be lost.

Closed Registration -- Wikitruth

Registration's closed!

The Online Truth-Telling Device Only Angry Wikipedo Admins Can Edit

Closed registration means never having to revert stupid faggots. It also means hardly any edits and guess what? WikiTruth's 5 sole editors got bored and quit. No new content anymore. And nothing of value was lost.

Normal Registration -- ED, YouTube, etc.

Typical non-math CAPTCHA. Like all CAPTCHAs, it requires a bot to get past.

You make an account, solve a CAPTCHA, and there you go.

Your standard math CAPTCHA on Encyclopedia Dramatica

10 bucks -- Something Awful

Got banned again, guess what?

Stalky registration -- sometimes occurs on new accounts for gmail, inbox.com, craigslist, eBay, PayPal

Be prepared to have to pay the phone company 15 bucks to change your phone number after registering because these guys demand it. Either you must have a landline only number (esp. PayPal) or you must get text messages to your cell phone (esp. Gmail). The phone systems won't even leave a pin, but they require you to press a random button on your phone first, which of course 99% of the time their automated system can't recognize. There's no greater joy than spending several months giving them every phone number you have trying to get their abusive, stalky verification system to work.

Fag forums -- millions of tiny forums most of which you've never heard of

You register, solve a CAPTCHA, and then the admin will have to manually approve you. The admin first demands you become their toilet slave for a month, afterwhich they insult you and never approve your registration. All accounts on the forum are the admin's BFFs and sock puppets.