Lulznews/November Archive

November 30th, 2006

Pasedena, CA (ÆP) Patriotism can damage your health. Woman felled by shopping cart from heavens whilst raising the Stars & Bars.

Samaipur Badli, INDIA (BBCæ) Pigs turn the tables on humans by eating village Po' Boy in Delhi.

November 28th, 2006

Baker City, OR (ÆP) Attention whore gives away free hugs to public after brother kills old man.

Sydney AUSTRALIA (ÆFP) Australia and Kets' favourite band breaks-up after "Yerrow" Wiggle dies of AIDS.

November 24th, 2006

Boston, MA (CÆNN) BU announces the Kramer Scholarship for Whites Only.

November 23rd, 2006

Apollo Beach, FL (LNN) Bling bruvs caught ridin' dirty on MySpace.

Brasilia, BRAZIL (Ræters)Free Spanish Fly! Like Brazil needs any more sexytime, amirite!

November 22nd, 2006

Philadelphia, PA (ÆP) Penishurt patient punishes practitioner.

Oberlin, OH (ÆP) Gingerbread Nazis come to small town; invasion thwarted.

November 21st, 2006

Manchester, NJ (ÆP) Cop nabbed doing extracurricular cavity searches.

New York, NY (Ræters) Dogpile on Borat!!! Butthurt Romanian villagers next in line to sue.

New York, NY (Ræters) Santa bumped from atop Richest Fictional Character list.

November 20th, 2006

Hazyview, S.AFRICA (SÆPA) Bodyless penis found in topless yard.

Fareham, ENGLAND (CurrentBun) Hitler blasted for helping the kids.

Roanoke, VA (ÆP) TV weatherman fired for full-frontal MySpace pix.

Buteyongera, UGANDA (Ræters) White man gives villagers free goats, sheep and pigs...but there's a catch.

November 19th, 2006

Largo, FL (ÆHN) Knife weilding Leggo thief in daring bicycle escape.

Huayre, PERU (ÆP) Peruvians vexed over genetalia theme-park.

Tallinn, ESTONIA (ÆFP) Pirate caught shoplifting.

Corvallis, OR (ÆP) Apple's new GPS iPod saves mushroom picker.

November 18th, 2006

Vienna, AUSTRIA (Ræters) 1,764-pound cow suspended from winch = bad idea for farmer.

Paris, FRANCE (Ræters) Couch potato TV theif nabbed returning for remote.

Bogor, INDONESIA (PæL) Local wizard's spell will turn visiting President Bush into broccoli.

November 17th, 2006

Wasington, DC (CæNN) Fucking WIN!!! Just in time for Xmas, big fake titties back on shelves.

Everywhere, US&A (ÆP) PS3=Serious Fucking Business as launch leads to armed robbery, drive-by shootings, beatings and stampedes.

Washington, DC (LNN) That empty feeling in your stomach?...it's not 'hunger' it's ‘Low Food Security'.

November 16th, 2006

Hollywood, CA (BBCæ) "My horror was that he had bought a bag of fæces to my dinner table." woman latest to sue Borat.

Duluth, MN (DæD) Venison lover reasons sexual contact with deer carcass legal since it's no longer an animal.

London, ENGLAND (ÆD) Police study: Rohypnol off the hook as leading cause of 'date rape'. Booze just as effective and cheaper.

November 15th, 2006

Wichita, KS (ÆP) Kidnapper ups ante in standoff with Feds. Shoots himself in nutsac to show he's serious fucking business.

Phoenix, AZ (ÆP) Local hotel blaze has firefighters beating back flames and naked lunatic.

Gothenberg, SWEDEN (Ræters) Drunken elk acting like tramp terrorises school kids.

November 14th, 2006

Houston TX (ÆP) Myspace: A place for convicted death row murderers.

Geelong, AUSTRALIA (ÆP) Australians finally contribute to modern technology; unveil "Air Guitar Shirt".

November 13th, 2006

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (ÆP) Txt msg k 4 exms, lol

NEW YORK, NY Jagshemash! Borat accosted by angry Jew

PATNA, India (ÆP) Singing eunuchs soon to replace IRS

November 12th, 2006

Rampur, INDIA (HugsTiems) Village rapist to receive 51 slaps for village rape.

November 11th, 2006

YouTube Village, INTERNETS (ÆD) Final Solution pwnage of Peppermintpatti by #ed troll insurgents commanded by Generalisimo Wattagecat leads to surrender of her YouTube account. Butthurt 'vloggers' vow to nevar forget 11/11 as ED celebrates EPIC WIN for græt justice and lulz supremacy.

November 10th, 2006

Sunderland, ENGLAND (ÆP) Squady home from Iraq uninjured gets butthurt by firework.

November 9th, 2006

Falticeni, ROMANIA (Ænonova) Local girl needs surgery after toothbrush fellatio goes awry.

Cedar Rapids, IA (ÆBC) Alcohol suspected in sneaker theft/eyebrow assault.

Buffalo, MO (ED) Escaped convicts returned to pink jail with teddy bears.

November 8th, 2006

Hollywood, CA (All Hædlines) Britney turns K-Fed into Fed-X via text message!

Washington, DC (The Æg) Not amused. W's bad day proves costly for court jester Rummy.

November 7th, 2006

Hollywood, CA (CæNN) It's over...Britney </3 K-Fed!

Jefferson County, KY (ÆP) Voting wrong? Choke dem bitches!

Allentown, PA (LNN) Metalcat destroys electronic voting machines.

Wormhole found in backseat of car; turns baby into sumo wrestler.

November 6th, 2006

Ankara, TURKEY (ÆP) A challenger appears! Old Turkish meme, Mahir, returns for moar e-fame and frivolous litigation.

Nashville, TN (ÆP) Faith Hill butthurt after pwning at Country Music Awards. Faith Hill as Kanye West

Bruce Lee reincarnated in Jakhovistan?

November 5th, 2006

Gaza City, PALESTINE (ÆP) Jewish sniper shoots 12-year-old Palestinian in the head by mistake for lulz and græt justice

Nashville, TN (ÆP) Police called as naked couple scrap in waffle house.

Beit Hanoun, PALESTINE (WÆFA) Israeli soldiers kill more Arab children for teh lulz and grape justice

Copenhagen, DENMARK (ÆP) Kanye West throws obscenity laced hissy-fit after losing at MTV Europe Awards; "...it cost a million dollars & Pamela Anderson was in it."

November 4th, 2006

El Cerrito, CA. (ÆP) Naked man arrested for concealed weapon

Wappingers Falls, NY (LNN) Man tossed from gym after Lunk-Alarm goes off in 'No Judgement Zone'.

New York, NY (ED) Cop tests positive for drugs after eating 'pot roast'; cleared on grounds of "involuntary ingestion".

Denton, TX (LNN) Bad ending for man bringing plunger to a sword fight.

November 3rd, 2006

Patna, India (ÆP) 3-Month Old Baby Charged With Robbery

Atlantic City, NJ (Ræters) Letters to God wash up on beach, proving He doesn't care about you, your problems or the ocean.

London, ENGLAND (Ræters) English see Bush as greater psycho nut-job threat than Kim Jong Il

November 2nd, 2006

Guilford, NC (BBCæ) Butthurt cops sue rapper The Game for disflamation

Oil City, PA (ÆP) Furry goes squirrelshit crazy on mailman.

Broadford, SCOTLAND (BBCæ) Duke Otterland takes furry friend to hospital.

November 1st, 2006

Brooklyn, NY (ÆP) Hitler crashes party disguised as Charlie Chaplin

Scarborough, ME (ÆP) Osama bin Laden arrested!

San Francisco, CA (ÆP) TFO goes batshit crazy when his dinner delivery turns up cold.

Sydney, AUSTRALIA (ÆÆP) Australians butthurt over Croc Hunter Halloween costumes.

Stuart, FL (ÆP) Toe burglar attacks sleeping woman

New Brunswick, NJ (ÆP) Woman uses the google to hack computer programmer husband.