James Emails 3

The continuation of James Emails 1 and James Emails 2, these are the emails exchanged between "Rick" and James Terry Mitchell Jr between the end of August and the start of September. Continued in James Emails 4.

Emails

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
27 Aug
		
to James
Morning,

Things have pretty much gone back to normal here. My wife is still in her amorous phase but I figure it will soon pass. She doesn't feel she needs to compete with Linda as if she ever could. It's funny but the love I feel my wife is different. It's more reserved but it's deeper and more meaningful. With Linda it's all fire and passion and incredible amounts of desire. It's like a wildfire consuming everything in it's path as opposed to a campfire which is warm, comforting and above all controlled and safe. Last night when she came by and said she was ready for bed she didn't wait for me to do anything but instead took me by the hand and led me to the bedroom. We didn't fuck. We made love. It was slow, sensual and each caring more for the other's pleasure than our own. God I love that woman, I'd be nothing without her. 

But yeah, Linda should be leaving Oregon about now. It's 11am so she probably had to check out. She's already gotten her "road snacks" as she calls them and she's making her way down to San Francisco although I wouldn't put it past her to make a pit stop in Vegas or Reno for the night. We did that once. Met up in Vegas a couple years back. Had a great time. Won about $1000 and lost it again. Saw some shows, had some really good food and lived it up. Linda paid for it of course. She's always paying for things like that. Remind me to tell you of the time she took me on a cruise as my graduation present. Good times.

Not much else going on today. My wife is off getting supplies. I offered to come with her but she said she wants me to conserve my strength and I've been overextending myself recently. I smack her on the ass and grab a double handful and insinuate that it's all her fault for being so damned sexy. She purrs a bit and holds me close before giving me a smack and saying she's making something special for tonight to help me regain my strength. I'm hoping it's rouladen. Have you ever had that or even heard of it? 

It's quite possibly one of my favorite German dishes of all time because there's nothing in there that I don't like. You get yourself a cut of reasonably lean beef like top round and hammer it flat. On it you spread some spicy German mustard. You can use dijon mustard if you have it or hot English mustard if you prefer. Then you cover the meat with chopped onions leaving about an inch or so around the edge. Get yourself a pickle spear, they have some amazing kosher ones at Trader Joe's, but it needs to be a sour pickle none of those bread and butter ones or whatever. Find yourself a nice sour kosher dill pickle and cut it into quarters to get spears. And then this is the best part, wrap the pickle in bacon. Now put the pickle at one edge of the meat and roll it up so that the meat surrounds the pickle completely. Then when you've made all the rolls, heat up some olive oil in a heavy pot like a Dutch Oven with a bit of butter and brown these on all sides. You don't want to cook it, just brown it to give flavor. Don't crowd the pan and brown them in batches. Keep them warm until you've finsished browning them all. Once all that is done put them back into the pot and let them simmer for about an hour or so over low heat with just enough beef broth to barely cover them. They're going to stew in there for a while. After an hour or so, remove them and put to the side. The remaining beef broth you want to reduce it to make a sauce. Add more broth if there's not enough, remember to scrape up all the brown bits on the bottom and add a bit of flour to thicken it up. Serve with small dumplings like spaetzle or noodles if you prefer.

Dammit now I'm hungry. Wonder if she's going to be back soon I should give her a call.

And we're possibly heading up to Seattle tomorrow. She's been talking recently about wanting to redo the kitchen and wants to check out things like appliances and contractors. I'm all for getting a better kitchen and everything but I think it can wait until after I'm back at work which still won't be at least until next year around February. I'll be back and making more money then compared to what I'm getting on short term disability. But once she gets an idea in her head it's difficult to stop her. 

I'll leave you now. Need to call her and find out about the lunch situation and if she's bringing something, making something or wants me to make something.

Later.

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
27 Aug
	
to me
That sounds pretty good but doesn't the heat ruin the pickle?

Watching pee-wee's playhouse man it's trippy.

I'm just vegging out it's been raining and it might again soon. I walked a lot yesterday. Guess what I lost 5 lbs since the 15th. I guess I was just impatient then.

I just had two focattia buns toasted with butter and some spaghetti sauce. To dip it in. And a small can of ginger ale.

I went for a really long walk yesterday I think it raised my testosterone because I wanked 3 times.

Is it weird I like fat free milk more than regular?

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
27 Aug
	
to James
Sorry James but is there a problem?

The other day you literally just respond with one line. Today you respond with one line for everything. And according to Linda, you practically write a novel when responding to her. If you don't want to do this then please tell me because I don't want to be wasting my time. Part of what I'm trying to do here is draw you out of your shell a bit but if you don't want to then there's not much that can be done.

It's like how I mentioned earlier that I was getting hungry talking about food and called my wife to find out what's going on. By the way it's not rouladen she's making but chicken schnitzel made in the Schwaben way. Her father is from Schwabia which is a province of Germany right on the Hungarian border. This means they have a kind of kinship to the Hungarians and a lot of things in common. Not the least of which is their dishes. So a Schwabian Schnitzel is pounded flat so it's very thin. Then breaded and deep fried. The result is a very crispy outside and a perfectly done inside. Anyway, so I call her about lunch and she says she'll pick something up. She comes back with a large Italian sandwich. The same place we normally get pizza from but she got us a veal parm sandwich piled high with sweet peppers, onions and mushrooms and covered in an awesome marinara sauce. We split that and had a nice salad on the side and it's perfect. Of course she's part Italian so you know it's going to be good. To get anything less would bring shame to her family and especailly to her Nonna. Her Nonna was such a lovely woman but spoke almost no English. I remember when we were dating and getting really serious I used to love going over to her house for Sunday dinner. Her Mama and Nonna would be in the kitchen all day long making food and if you enjoyed her food she just loved you even more and would always be pushing more and more on you. Of course I was heavier back then and that food sure didn't help matters but it was so good especially when you're a starving student living on instant ramen as well as rice and beans. Luckily for me my wife learned how to cook like her mother and Nonna did so there's always something around this place even if I do wind up making dinner most nights. 

See that? That's a little story. We've gone over this before. I don't expect you to write out whole swaths of text like I do but how about a little effort here so it doesn't feel like I'm the only one talking okay?

Rouladen is great but I don't know what you mean by "ruin the pickle". It cooks a bit but retains it's pickle nature. Some of the sourness is reduced but it blends into the sauce with everything else. 

I used to love that show when I was younger. I actually have the entire series on DVD. Did you know that it's Cyndi Lauper that sings the theme song? 

That's good news! Sometimes all it takes is a small change to yield results. I'm proud of you.

Focaccia, not focattia. Married to a woman who's part Italian and being a bit of a food guy means I know these things. 

Good to know. And maybe it is all that excess testosterone. I know that when I rip it up in the gym I have a tendency to get a little more... aroused than I normally do. It's the best when Linda is around because literally I either pick her up and get her to the bedroom or I just do her there. With my wife I sometimes have to wait which means more often than not I have to rub one out solo. Not the best thing to do but at least it's a way of relieving the pressure. Not that I mind. When I'm in that state it's something I want to get rid of as soon as possible and rubbing one out means no cuddling or pillow talk afterwards. Just clean yourself up and go.

No. Why should it? I know people that prefer diet drinks to regular ones because they prefer the taste. Personally I think they're lying but that's another story.

Okay, dinner is almost ready. I just got the five minute warning from my wife so I'm going to leave this now. Please consider what I said originally.

Later.

 
James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
27 Aug
	
to me
I'm sorry I'm not much of a story teller unless I either just woke up or I'm loopy from being tired then there's no shutting me up. 

You have lots of stories because your days have substance. I'm not sure what to tell you about my day. Most days are routine and quickly forgotten unless something weird happened.  

Nothing happened today that I didn't already tell you. 

Ok here goes a story.

On February 4 2010 I went to the local strip club and met a 42 year old black woman named debbie we left and went to another bar and had a few drinks and I let her buy some pull tab lotto tickets. She won them all then we left again and went back to her place and her boyfriend was there she asked him to leave and she asked me if I had a condom I said no because I had actually just taken my emergency one out of my wallet because I had given up ever getting laid so she went to go get one asked me if I was big before she left to go get it and since I thought I was small I said no. I got naked and when she got back she looked at it and said "you're big" I smiled and said "I'm not even hard yet and I started groping her she pulled her pants down and bent over I put the condom on and started fucking her and it hurt I kept going figuring it would stop hurting eventually but it didn't I asked to switch to missionary thinking if I could see the boobies I would be able to cum but she said no she came but I wasn't close so I kept going and a few minutes later she came again and then a 3rd time and I couldn't take the pain anymore and I admitted it was hurting and asked to stop. And we did. I sucked her boobies some more and left and walked home and masturbated and even with all the sex it still took me 45 minutes to make myself pop apparently I was having a bad day because the eventual cum burned and was really hot which is weird because my cum usually comes out cool. 

There there's the story of my adult loss of virginity. I'm sorry I don't have much life experience to draw from. 

If anything new happens in my life I'll let you know. You can ask what you want to know about.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
27 Aug
	
to James
Dude, you're missing the point or maybe I'm not explaining it correctly.

It's like this. I write all this stuff, I relate it to something that happened or I just tell you whatever for whatever reason. You respond with one line. Linda tells you things, relates to what happened or she just tells you something for whatever reason and you're more verbose. You respond more to her not necessarily in content but in context as well. Is it just me? Or do you simply not have anything to say where I'm concerned? 

Yeah I'm sorry but cum is always at least body temperature. Linda and my wife always say it makes them feel warm inside when I cum inside them. If it's coming out hot AND it was painful doing it then I don't know. I think we've already established that you're some kind of freak. At this point here I think we just need to rebrand "abnormal" as the new normal for you and anything normal to be strange and weird. It might save time. Also the black woman called you big so why are you still worried about the size of your dick? You've got a black woman who's probably had a couple of black dicks inside her and they're supposedly bigger than we are. Now can you stop fretting about this? 

It's Friday night. We're settling in for a little Netflix, popcorn and light petting. That last part isn't my fault because my wife is so sexy. I can't ever keep my hands off of her and the moment my fingers touch her, they're in almost constant motion. 

Oh, and just in case she hasn't gotten around to you yet, Linda arrived in San Francisco earlier safe and sound. And from the sound of it she had some company. Nudge nudge wink wink say no more. 

Later.

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
28 Aug
	
to me
I'm sorry. I just open up to females better. I just feel more at ease with them even if I'm not attracted to them. I don't know why. 

I even request a female therapist or Doctor if they give me the choice. I may be a bit misogynistic when sex is involved but for most other stuff I'm a bit misandrist. 

I'm sorry I act a bit aloof when I talk to you. I'm just comfortable with you my best friend and I can be in the same room for hours and not say a word to each other. 

I was also brought up that talking is to trade information and that idle chit chat is superfluous. That's why I read the dictionary, so I could find more words so that I would be able to use as few as possible to convey information as few words as possible. That's why I tend to use big words why use 10 short words when 2-3 long ones work better. Like dead poets society says "a man isn't very sad he's morose he isn't very tired he's exhausted or fatigued. 

I shall endeavor to be more verbose in my communiques henceforth.

I had the last of the roast beef with the last Of the focaccia bread and a little cottage cheese and a small tomato. I ate too much and cramps oh my goodness the cramps. Anyway I'm better now. 

I'm also better at writing when I'm tired as I am now. 

Can you explain to me why linda finds it so hard to believe I'm grumpy most of the time? I mean if someone is nice to me first then I am polite and return kindness for kindness but I am neutrally just grumpy. I'm nice but I have a temper. 

Anyway that's all for now good night or should I say morning.

 
Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
28 Aug
	
to James
 As stated previously, we spent the afternoon in Seattle and checked out prices for contractors. I think my wife is starting to understand that we can keep the kitchen the way it is until next year when I go back to work full time. But it wasn't a total loss. We hit the market and found some really nice, ripe tomatoes. That means one thing and one thing only in this house. We're making sauce for the winter. It's an Italian thing. You buy bushels of tomatoes at the end of summer and spend a week turning them into delicious sugo di pomodoro which is then jarred and kept in the pantry for when you need it. The secret is to have it taste like fresh tomatoes while reducing the water content  and getting the proper consistency for the sauce. There are loads of ways to do this but the best way for us is the "divide and conquer" method. You make two sauces. One is the long simmered one that takes the water out and caramelizes the flavors and the second is a short simmered sauce for maybe 15-20 minutes over low heat. The idea is you thermalize it a bit, then mix the two together. The result is a sauce that tastes of fresh tomatoes but has that complex cooked tomato taste to it as well. This leaves the ones I have in the garden for just eating or when you need to use whole or chopped fresh tomatoes. 

Be that as it may you responded more before you were communicating with Linda as well.

We've actually got a female doctor. She's good. I honestly don't care but my wife is a little more comfortable talking about woman things with her because she would understand better. It also means that I don't have to stay in the room in case a male doctor tries to take advantage of my wife when giving her a checkup. Not that I mind seeing her naked or anything but it's just so clinical there that it takes some of the fun out of it. 

That's cool. It's less to do with what's going on and more to do with trying to get you to speak. Try to think of this as "life lessons".

But that's not the case. Sure "shit chat" as I call it is the act of filling up the silence with words because you're afraid of the silence. Chit chat is meaningless chatter that we all engage in from time to time. Talking is when you have something important to say. As for the using less words than you need to I need to ask why? Sure brevity is wit and being able to express yourself using as few words as possible is a good thing. But it's not the same as trying to use large words just to avoid using a few small ones. You could never use the term "crepuscular" instead of "twilight" because who the hell else other than a linguist would know what that word means and if you do use that word it's possibly because you want to impress people or sound profound. It's a proven fact that when people want to sound more important or intelligent they use larger words as if their vocabulary is so big, they need to. However if you're being poetic then go right ahead and use morose instead of sad or fatigued instead of tired. Language, like everything else, is based on context if the context calls for five dollar words then by all means use them. Otherwise you could just come off as a pompous ass. I'm not trying to imply you are, I'm just saying that people's impression of you might go in that direction.

Do you normally get cramps when eating too much or is it more what you're eating? But you know what's really good if you ever want a roast beef sandwich, and you can find the ingredients for cheap, give this a try. Get yourself some rye bread and spread some hot mustard on one side and if you can find it some cheese like brie, camembert or my favorite Cambozola. That's a german cheese that's like brie but it's got veins of blue running through it or a Swiss cheese works well. I prefer a hot English mustard or spicy German mustard instead of something like Dijon to this but that's up to you to decide. To that you add either an olive pesto, olive salad like they do with the classic Muffuletta sandwich from New Orleans or an olive bruschetta to it preferably one that isn't sweet and doesn't have tomatoes. Add your roast beef, top with some lettuce, I like using baby greens but iceberg works in a pinch and top it with the mustard piece. Enjoy. Depending on your ingredients it might be a little salty so take that into consideration. 

Linda is just a happy go lucky kind of person. She lives for today and doesn't often worry about tomorrow. She's always positive, full of life, perky and spunky. Oh man that just reminded me of the other night. We were sitting in and had ordered a pizza and decided to watch some movies. I've got a bit of a collection and just picked up "Zootopia". I'm a sucker for Disney even at my age and their animation is always top notch. So when it came out and I saw it was getting a 98% positive rating I figured I had to get it and you need to get Disney Blu-Rays. They are, no word of a lie, gorgeous. I've got a 50" TV in the living room, not huge but not small either. Today as we're looking over appliances I had to check out the TVs at Best Buy and they had a top of the line 75" Ultra-HD TV. I just wanted to marry it until I saw the price. Over $10K for that thing. So I can't even consider dropping that kind of money on a TV even if the screen blew me away. But yeah, it was a cute movie and Judy reminded me to much of Linda that I teased her a bit about it. She in turn started calling me Nick for the rest of the night because according to her I'm sneaky and devious. I think both of us were wanting them to get together in the end just for those reasons alone. You know, art imitating life? 

That's cool. Talk to you later. 

  
James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
28 Aug
	
to me
It's more of a divided attention type of thing.

It's raining really hard and the pipe in the bathroom ceiling is leaking so I had to get naked and drape a towel on my head/shoulders to keep dry when I went to the toilet earlier.

I made some leftover beans earlier momma can put a hurting on some beans let me tell you.

Cramping doesn't happen a lot but when it does OUCH!

It wasn't a roast beef sandwich it was roast beef with bread on the side.

Lots of people ship rick and judy look it up on tumblr it can get graphic.

That's funny I actually suggested it to her and she told me about you guys watching it.

I hope it stops raining soon so I can go play go.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
29 Aug
	
to James
Evening James, or should I say night? 

It's just after 10pm. The wife is asleep but then she did a lot of work today so I offered to clean everything up. She was so thankful and called me a perfect husband. She hugged me, I hugged her back then one of my hands just slid down her back to rest on her ass. She purred and did this happy shimmy in my arms but I knew she was tired. I pulled back a bit so I could lift her chin and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips and told her to go to sleep and I'd take care of the rest. She yawns adoreably and putters away upstairs to get ready. So I cleaned up the kitchen, had a quick bite and checked my e-mail. I see you and Linda and figure there's time to answer both before I need to head to sleep myself.

You had to get naked AND put a towel over you? There a reason why the towel itself couldn't work. And I'd speak to the landlord to get that looked after. After all you're paying him and he needs to make sure his place is up to scratch. Got a question though based on your living arrangements. You and your parents live in the same house but they share a different apartment than you do? So you're like on one floor and they're on another? Is it a complete apartment that you're in with like a kitchen and stuff or is it more like just a room that you have?

Not a big fan of beans all by themselves although I have had some Indian recipes with them and rice that were amazing. Beans and rice are also really good for you and cheap to make. You just need to supplement your diet with other things and maybe take a multivitamin from time to time. 

As I said what causes it? Is it eating too much? Is it what you eat specifically? Or is it just something that happens and you can't tell what it is causing it?

I know it wasn't a sandwich. You said it wasn't a sandwich. I simply said that the next time if you can have the ingredients you should give it a try because it's good. You don't read too well do you or are you simply getting lost in all the words? If I'm writing too much let me know.

That's awesome! We've got these amazing bits of synchronicity at times. Like she'll e-mail me just as I log on, Or I think something and she says it. Or in this case both have the same movie on the mind. And yes part of me wants to ship Judy and Nick because I think they'd make a really cute couple and it gives a whole new meaning to the idea of a fox eating a rabbit. But at the same time I don't want them to make this cliche and have them become a couple because that's what always happens in these movies. Maybe have them be really comfortable with each other and while they're close they realize they work better as friends than lovers. Think Jerry and Elaine from Seinfeld. They used to date but not anymore and are friends instead. 

Part of me wishes it would rain but that's not really a summertime thing here. It's mostly the fall, spring and winter when things get wet. Come fall I'm loving the rain because I miss it. 

Really don't feel like going to sleep but I'm a little tired so that's probably it for me now. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
29 Aug
	
to me
Just replying to say I got this and to answer questions. 

Yes naked and towel because the dripping would have been cold and cold hurts. 

He did fix it a while back the fitting or whatever must have came loose. 

No. It's a house that the landlord is renting out like an apartment my parents and I have the downstairs and a man and his grandson live upstairs in what used to be the attic but the landlord fixed it up. It's the drainpipe for their apartment that's dripping. I don't know exactly what's happening I think there may be some part of the roof that is leaking and then going down inside the walls and hitting the correct angle and then hitting the pipe and condensing and dripping. It only happens when it's badly raining. It was leaking a while back any time he did the laundry but I didn't hear the machine going so. The pipe dripping rotted away the paper tiles in the ceiling so the landlord pulled them out in the spot to fix the pipe and didn't fix the ceiling. So there's two tiles missing and an exposed pipe. 

I have my room they have theirs the bathroom is inbetween with a door to my room and a door to theirs and there's a common communal area with the living room dining room and kitchen. I stay in my room mostly I have my own tv and a small oven it's actually a breadmaker but the motor don't work so it's just a big toaster oven now. I used to have my own microwave but it broke and I just haven't bothered replacing it I just use the one in the dining room now. Dad has his big screen in this living room and mom has her tv in the dining room. They don't watch many of the same programs dad has his tv hooked up to headphones so the sounds don't interfere but when they watch a movie together he flips the switch so the sound comes out of the speakers. They also watch price is right together. They are just a normal old couple. The fridge is communal unless you write your name on it or specifically ask that nobody touch it otherwise it's up for grabs. We occasionally get each other stuff we know the other likes. I have gotten mom pickled pigs feet cause she loves them and she gets me stuff all the time actually like apples or she recently got some kale for me but I had one salad and kept forgetting it was in the drawer and the bag went bad ??.
About the beans. Yeah they're better with poor mans bread (aka shortening bread to the northerners but it's basically just a pancake made with self rising flour instead of pancake mix. Make it with milk for fluffier bread) 

But if there's a lot of broth it's damned good soup. And then when you get all the broth off the beans are good on toast. 

The cramps are usually gas. I'm thinking back to the sandwich it had a lot of cured meat on it and I'm mildly allergic to summer sausage (it makes my tongue swell just a little and itch slightly but it goes away fast maybe it's the curing chemical and when I ate so much it caused a reaction inside and had to get out. Also any gassy foods do it too. Also greasy foods do it I love the Hawaiian chicken at kings buffet but I can't eat it because it's too oily and gives me the runs. Also if I eat too much carbs I get cramps and constipation. Really the only food that never hurts me is lean uncured meat and vegetables and even vegetables make me gassy just not painfully like greasy meat can. I have a weird body. I work best physically on lean protein and vegetables and fruits. But without bread and a little sugar now and then I have mood disturbances. I'm still avoiding sugar but I slipped and had a few mini muffins I couldn't resist they were pumpkin and chocolate chip I'm a sucker for anything pumpkin except pie and that's just a texture issue. I'm also drinking this cranberry juice cocktail that you mix into water. That's to avoid soda. If it's 75 degrees or less I'm gonna take a walk later too. I know it's slow going and I will never be not fat but I wanna try and be the healthiest fat guy I can be. I'm trying to be optimistic. 

I thought you had misinterpreted me and thought I meant I had a sandwich. But I don't like mustard that much and I hate the sliced roast beef sandwich mean stuff and to me a nice brie or Camembert etc is to be savored as a decadent indulgence with club style crackers. Not to be put on a sandwich especially with how expensive they are even in the discount stores.  

I hate*5 seinfeld EVERYTHING that goes bad for him he could solve by just TALKING TO PEOPLE and stop being a fucking coward. I'm serious the majority of his foibles are from miscommunication of some kind and he's constantly getting women and so is kramer and George he had 52 girlfriends over the course of the show and the statistical average of an average man is 7 sexual partners his whole life some get more some get less but damnit with his personality and as ugly as he is he should have gotten MAYBE generously speaking 4 girls a year TOPS the only person I actually like on the show is Newman. He was a real human being, maybe a bit over the top at times but that was only out of frustration with the bizarreness of jerry and his friends. Kramer was his friend but only because kramer straddled the line between the two worlds of the normal and the weird. Oh funny thing you know paul from mad about you was kramers roomate and jamie was on an episode of friends and ursula the waitress from mad about you was phoebe's sister so technically speaking Seinfeld, Mad about you, and Friends were all in the same universe.  

Around here rain is a spring and autumn thing summer it doesn't rain much and winter is ??.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
29 Aug
	
to James
Went to see the doctor today for my checkup and so far according to him I'm progressing nicely. I'm having less moments of blanking out or struggling to find the right word. Any moments of dizziness or double vision or anything like that are few and far between and my cognitive skills are improving. Soon I should be able to drive again which is good because walking to the store might be good but it's a pain in the ass when I get there only to realize I forgot my wallet or something. 

Cold hurts? Like if you're outside and it's cold it hurts or is it only when the cold is against your skin? Personally I love the cold or at least the cool. My favorite time of year is autumn. It's cool without being cold, there's a certain smell in the air and the leaves changing and crinkling under your feet. But cold is also good when I have a headache and pressing a cold pack against my forehead feels amazingly good and helps me to deal with the pain. Obviously I don't know how your system works but is it not possible to tie something around the pipe or stuff something up there to maybe soak up some of the water instead?

So you do live with your parents. I thought you had your own apartment there or your own room separate from theirs or something. 

The only thing I have in my office is a coffee maker and small fridge for those times I'm working and literally don't have the time to walk over to the kitchen to grab anything. It's convenient but there's no food here that is mine only or my wife's only so don't really have that problem of grabbing each other's stuff. And I know how heartbreaking some forgotten fruit or vegetable can be when you pull it our and it's a rotten, soggy mess. Had some radishes like that once, they were stuffed into the bottom and back of the cripser. Luckily they were in a bag but the leaves and stems had all rotted away but the bulbs themselves were still fine. They just needed a quick rinse under the water.

You are aware that "pancake mix" and "self-rising flour" are pretty much the same thing to begin with right? Pancake mix is a mixture of flour, baking powder and baking soda with or without sugar added. Self-rising flour is the same thing but without any kind of sweetener. So when you say it's a pancake made with self-rising flour instead of a mix you're practically referring to the same thing. But if you want to talk bread that's easy and cheap to make I can give you the rundown. If you have a dutch oven I can send you a recipe for some of the best bread you ever had. No word of a lie. It's called "No Knead Bread" and it cooks up with a wonderfully crispy crust and nice soft interior. It's just four ingredients: flour, water, salt and yeast. You use a little more yeast than you normally would but all you do is mix these four things together. The dough should look like a shaggy, sticky mess. Cover with plastic wrap and then let it sit for ten to twelve hours. Some recipes call for an eighteen hour rise. Some ask for more yeast and only ask for a four hour rise. But once it's done you  put it on a floured surface, punch it down a bit and fold it over twice. Let it sit covered for half an hour. Repeat the process and finally comes the good part. Take your dutch oven and stick it in the oven while it heats up. You actually want this heating for about half an hour because it needs to be screaming hot. Take the dough and dump it in the dutch oven, put the lid on and let it bake for Isomething like half an hour. Then remove the lid and let it brown and crisp up on top.

Remove from the oven and the dutch oven and let it cool completely before slicing. I know it's hard but it's worth it. And of course it costs pennies to make. If you;re interested I can give you the exact recipe. I've made Jalapeno Cheese bread, spice bread, whole wheat bread, pumpkin bread, cinnamon bread and so much more with this recipe. The only thing I can't make is a decent baguette but I think I need a baking stone for that to work properly. 

Of course your digestion is messed up. Tell me James, is there anything with you that actually works like it's supposed to? Not trying to put you down but since we've started communicating you've just been like a laundry list of 

Well to each his own. I love mustard on my sandwiches and the roast beef is the same as you'd get from the deli which is just a big old piece of beef that's bee slow roasted until it's medium rare. Think of Arby's...  actually don't think of Arby's. I've never really liked their roast beef but that's what they use. It's just roast beef only theirs is a much cheaper cut. As for camembert sure, it's great on a nice crusty baguette with a glass of red wine, some olives, veggies and maybe some salami or prosciutto on the side. To be honest that for me is real comfort food and it's something my wife knows I've had a bad day if I show up from work with all these things and them proceed to chow down.

Seinfeld started out good but it ended as a very hateful show. The last few seasons especially were the worst because those people were the worst. I only brought it up because that's how I hope they move the whole Nick and Judy sub plot. They're friends. Very close friends but they decided that they work better as good friends than lovers. So the easiest concept to put that into words was Jerry Seinfeld and Elaine Benes. 

Summertime here is the best, the rest of the year it's kinda rainy, grey and dreary. Well I'd say six months of good or decent weather and six months of not so good weather. At least we don't get too much snow. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
29 Aug
	
to me
That's good. I worry about you. 

Yeah If I have to grab something from a cooler and there's ice it feels like a million needles stabbing me and my joints feel like you hit them with a hammer. Ice literally not figuratively LITERALLY hurts worse than fire. Fire stings a bit and itches and it's a bitch to heal from but the entire ordeal of the burn and a week to heal hurts less than the few seconds of contact with ice and the 5-15 minutes to thaw out because of my baby veins low circulation. 

Honestly no I don't think any part of me is in perfect working order. 

Listen to CW McCall classified. I'm the truck. 

He did wrap something around the pipe I think it failed. 

No they live with me I pay the rent. 

No I was not aware of that. Pancakes are sweet and brown poor mans bread are savory fluffy white and browned on each side. 

I hate the roast beef at arby's it's too dry and too greasy at the same time. 

Here in Indiana it's always hot or cold. We have about a month of good days scattered randomly through the year. 

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
30 Aug
	
to James
Such a sad day that Gene Wilder died. I used to love his movies especially "Willy Wonka" when I was growing up but I grew up watching his movies and even if the movie wasn't good he was. So I've been up and just did a double feature of Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, two of his best movies in my opinion. It was amazing but as I'm watching them I realized that so many of his co-stars were already dead. Blazing Saddles you had Clevant Little, Madeline Khan whom I adore by the way and Harvey Korman. Then again in Young Frankenstein it was Madeline Khan again, Peter Boyle and Marty Feldman. It got me to wondering about his other co-stars in many of his movies. Richard Pryor in Silver Streak, See No Evil Hear No Evil and Stir Crazy. Gilda Radner, whom he married, from the Woman in Red and Haunted Honeymoon. Dom Deluise of course from the same movie. It's just so many talented actors gone. This really has been a hard year for that. So much talent never to be heard from again. 

Don't worry about me, I'm indestructible, They keep trying and I'\m still here. My doctor says I'm disgustingly healthy and I've got the heart and the insides of an eighteen year old and I still have a mostly full head of hair which is great because my buddy Herman is the same age and he's bald up top or at least virtually bald. I razz him about that all the time.

Why do I even bother asking these things. James I'm surprised you're still alive with all these health issues you have. What's your secret? Or maybe you're like Mr Burns and you have every ailment known to man but they're all keeping all the other ailments in check and because of that you can't die. So I guess you're kinda indestructible too, so long as a light breeze doesn't knock something loose. 

So you're only worth thirty five bucks and a hide-a bed? Honestly I had to google that because I never heard the song before and didn't realize that was the guy that did "Convoy".

Rent is only $350 for all of you? Damn. Over here you couldn't rent a room for that little. I know a guy who's renting out his basement to a couple of students and they're paying $1200 a month between the three of them. 

As I said there's extra in pancake mix like sugar and whatever but at the base it's flour and a leavening agent which is the same as self-rising flour. You can actually make your own pancake mix by mixing self-rising flour with a little salt and sugar. Add some eggs and milk, mix well and you have pancake batter. For an extra twist that is extra delicious take some crispy bacon and crumble it into the pancake batter then cook the pancakes as you normally would. And just for fun, in case you missed it, some guy wrote a song about it based on something Jake the Dog did in Adventure Time, You can see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxELm6xdwXk

As I said, it's nasty. I've been to Arby's once in my life and never went back. To put that into perspective I've been to McDonald's many times and I'm not really a fan of their food but sometimes I just want a Big Mac. Go fig.

Where I am we have the beautiful summers that usually aren't too hot but this summer has been pretty brutal. But Winters are cloudy and spring / fall it's either getting cloudier leading into winter or getting brighter leading into summer. There's also the rain. While not much in the summer, October is when the rainy season here starts and we get about four months of it. But like any other place in this country we have good parts of the weather like mild winters but we also get bad parts of it like lots of rain. You take what you can get.

And it's just after midnight. Time for me to go to sleep. 
Attachments area
Preview YouTube video BACON PANCAKES the FULL SONG Adventure Time

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
30 Aug
	
to me
Yeah. Somewhere Charlie finally inherited the factory. 

I don't really have a secret outside of willpower. Being too stubborn to stop going forward. I'm too strong to let pain stop me if there's something I want badly enough. Also I think I may be cursed with life there's so many things that I should have died from over the years and I just keep chugging along. 

Hilarious innit?

Rents 350 idk how much the utilities are.

I prefer Rally's (it may be called checkers in your area) 

Walked downtown last night to get my eggs to hatch and all I got was a lousy pidgy.  One of the low level Pokémon. But I did get a geodude from a pokestop with a lure on so the night wasn't a total loss. 

I'm curious you DC or Marvel? 

I haven't done anything worth talking about lately. 

Ttyl.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
30 Aug
	
to James
Just got done doing all the windows. Did you know that you can make a great household cleanser with lemon peels and vinegar? I found the recipe when looking for greener options and it's really easy. First make yourself some lemonade. You can make orange juice or limeade or a combination of all three if you prefer. Then in a clean glass jar, put in your citrus peels and cover with white vinegar. Let it sit in a cool, dark area for 2-4 weeks and shake it up every so often. Strain, dilute with water, I like to go 50/50 and put it into a spray bottle. It's an all natural cleaner that is 100% biodegradable, safe for the environment and smells like angel farts. 

At the end of the first book he inherits it. The second one was, "Willy Wonka and the Glass Elevator" I think it was called. They had these creatures in it called Verniminous Squids or something. They had the look of giant tadpoles in the illustrations. At one point the grandparents wind up taking something called "Vitamin Wonka" that turns some of them into infants and others into these 200 year old things. I think they had to use the elevator to go into the afterlife to get one of the grandparent's souls or something. It's literally been more than twenty five years since I read those books and I'm surprised I remember this much about them.

There is that, My Uncle is the same way. He's built poorly but he hits the gym every day and works out. He's to the point now where he can barely walk up or down stairs. His knees and ankles and hips hurt all the time because as my Dad put it, "he's built crookedly". He's too tall for what he should be and his joints just can't take it. But he's got this willpower to continue and even though he's going to finish off his life in a wheelchair he's not stopping now. In a sense that's good but in a sense that might also wind up killing you so be careful.

Well to anybody else yes. You are aware what Jerry Lewis said about the difference between comedy and tragedy? He said that, "comedy is when somebody slips and falls on a banana peel. Tragedy is when it happens to me."

Does that mean utilities are included? 

Haven't played checkers in years. Always been more of a chess man myself. 

It depends. If you were to talk about the whole of DC versus the whole of Marvel I'd say Marvel. Growing up I collected X-men comics and was a huge X-men fanboy. Occasionally getting other Marvel titles and hardly ever any DC titles. Growing up I discovered Frank Millar and Alan Moore and some of the really big names in comics and got the graphic novels for things like "The Killing Joke" and "A Death in the Family". Batman the Animated Series was an absolute favorite growing up. I was what, thirteen or fourteen when it came out? But it was amazingly good. The Superman cartoon wasn't bad but wasn't my cup of tea as I've never been a big Superman fan. But they had things like Batman Beyond and The Justice League cartoon. These are some of my favorite cartoons to this day. I've got all these series on DVD. Marvel on the other hand had some pretty kick ass big screen movies. Blade was good but the sequels got silly. X-men was good but he sequels less so even though Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart were perfect in their roles as Wolverine and Professor X. Then came RDJ as Iron Man and I said that this was literally perfect casting. RDJ had the charm to carry off Tony Stark but he's also a former alcoholic and drug addict like Tony Stark was in the comics. The result was the Marvel movie by which all other Marvel movies are measured. Since then Marvel has gone on to dominate the movie market while DC has been playing catch up. DC on the other hand has made numerous hits with their cartoon and direct to DVD cartoon series and let's not forget one of the greatest video game franchises ever, the Batman Arkham games.

So between Marvel and DC I'd have to say Marvel for the movies and the older comics, DC for the graphic novels, cartoons and video games. Which one wins? That's easy. Batman wins. He always wins. Do you know why? It's because he's Batman. And speaking of which, the guys down at HISHE came out with this today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KntOy6am7CM
Attachments area
Preview YouTube video Super Cafe: Batman GO

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
30 Aug
	
to me
Neat.

I was being poetic. I was saying since wonka is now dead Charlie owns the factory now. I was referencing the movie not the books. It was vermitious knids. 

No. Utilities are not included. 

Ha ha ?? 

I'm a DC fanboy. The 90's spiderman cartoon was ok but that's about all. Well that and the Ben Affleck Daredevil. Love that movie. To quote Kevin Smith, "Ben Affleck could be in a jaws remake playing the shark and I would watch it." I may collect the comics but that's just for an investment. 

Kal-El is my nigga. I memorized the world of cardboard speech from the last episode of JLU. I actually do feel like that quite often. My dad says "that boy could break a steel ball with a rubber hammer." And I actually have done something similar. I was pounding one of those spiral corkscrew dog leash holders into the ground with a rubber mallet and a piece chipped off. I have berserker type strength and I am accident prone so I always have to take constant care not to break something and one time I was play fighting with my girlfriend and she wasn't letting me win so I went a bit too rough and left her with bruises so I have to take constant care not to break someone. I have actually surprised people with my strength lifting an air conditioner into a window all by myself just having dad stabilize it for me. And my speed i ran 2-3 blocks away from this guy in a van in like 15 seconds my friends and I found some pizzas and this girl in the front seat said "can I have one?" As a joke I said "yeah french kiss me and I'll give you one" this guy popped out the back and said "what the fuck you say?" I dropped the pizzas yelled to my friends "I'LL SEE YOU AT THE HOUSE!!!" And I booked it I ran like 4-5 road widths worth in a few seconds the only thing that stopped me was the traffic. My friend caught up to me and it turns out the guy was just playing. My friend still talks about that. I think there may be some slight magic or something like that in me that keeps me safe but the price for the power is pain. But that's probably stupid. 

Oh My Kahless I want that game!!!!! Like you can have the entire DC rogues gallery in it and like choose which powers you want and they could divide into teams based on your favorite heroes and villains and all that it would be so awesome. I have that they think Superman would be valor. No batman would be valor superman would be mystic. 

I'm sorry I'm just really passionate about the characters in DC I can talk about them and their psychology for hours. You know how Kevin Smith has the "Fatman on Batman" podcast? If I had the means to record and upload a podcast I would create a similar podcast but about superman. If I could get away with it (which I know I couldn't) I'd call it "My nigga Kal-El" but the real name would probably be "Superman's pal Jimmy" and then in tiny parentheses (but not olsen) I wonder if I'd get sued for that? 

I'm sorry for going on so long I'm just a little buzzed I had a mtn dew earlier and let's just say I got lightning buzzing round me head.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
31 Aug
	
to James
Yesterday was not my night. Had a medium headache for most of it. Medium in this case dealing with the amount of pain. Problem is it also means the duration and trying to make sure it doesn't become too big. Took something. Didn't go away. Took something again. Didn't go away. Took something again after dinner and it made me sick. Not fun. On the plus side I slept for 10 hours. Literally as my wife leaves the house and is pulling out of the drive is when I woke up. Then I rolled over and went back to sleep for another hour.

Books always tie into the movies so it't not a hard stretch from one to the other. 

So you don't pay utilities and instead your parents are paying for them? Do they not get some kind of pension or old age security or something? 

Hey! Don't get angry at me, get angry at Jerry Lewis. He's the one that said it.

That's where we differ. I really don't like Ben Affleck and this includes his stint as Daredevil and as Batman. So far, there's only been one actor out there who was able to pull off the duality of Batman on screen. Somebody who was able to portray both Bruce Wayne and portray Batman and that as Michael Keaton. Val Kilmer played Bruce Wayne in both cases. There wasn't any real difference in between the two. George Clooney played Bruce Wayne cosplaying as Batman. Now don't get me wrong, I like George Clooney. He's got the matinee idol looks and charm that gets all the girls wet. He can play drama just as easily as light comedy but he sucked as Batman in part because the script was too cartoony and like the campy 60's show with Adam West. Then came Christian Bale. Good Batman but bad Bruce Wayne. And finally we get Batfleck. And I'll be honest he's not great and his costume looks too padded. Literally it looks like some guy with a comforter wrapped around him or a turtleneck with too much stuffing inside. So he's not really doing it for me. And as for the voice, well I do have a soft spot for Adam West but credit has to go to Kevin Conroy for that. Not only was he the voice in the cartoon series, the Justice league and some of the direct to video releases, he's also been the voice of Batman in the video games.

But here's something I always thought was odd. Was nerding out with some guy I work with the other day and we were discussing the Joker especailly his new incarnation in Suicide Squad. Which lead to who's your favorite Joker. Live action of course would be Heath Ledger but all time is Mark Hamil again in part because of the voice and it being there for like 20 years if not more. But here's the reasoning behind it.

1) Cesar Romero - was the prankster
2) Jack Nicholson - was the gangster
3) Heath Ledger  - was the psychopath
4) But only Mark Hamil managed to play all three. What's more if you look at his name, "Mark Hamil" within it you get the word "Arkham" where the games are set. Perfect right? Or so I thiought,

He of course he reads the comics and there's a bit in there where Batman get's a hold of Metron's Mobius Chair and asks it the question, "who is the Joker" and gets the answer that there's three of them. Which explains a lot. How he was a muderer, killer and thief originally. Then he became a merry prankster who just so happened to rob banks and commit crimes. And finally the troubled psychopath we know and love today. Well how did I describe each Joker? One was the prankster, one was the gangster and one was the psychopath. How cool is that? It's almost as if the writers of the comic book saw what we the fans had figured out and tried to explain it in a way we'd all get. Of course that leaves Jered Leto's version whom we don't know how he's going to turn out, 

The World of Cardboard speech I'm pretty sure would have come from the comics at some point. In fact I think at some point Larry Niven, the guy that wrote the series about "The Ringworld" and "Tales of Known Space" wrote an article called. "man of steel, woman of Kleenex" that hypothesized that Superman was still a virgin because otherwise he'd wind up killing whomever he was with. The woman in question just wouldn't be able to take the G's not to mention his ejaculate coming out l like as if from a machine gun and the rather involuntary muscle contractions that happen when you're close to orgasm. He'd literally kill her in the process. Then if she survived the initial bit, she wouldn't survive gestation. A pregnant woman has the baby kick and squirm inside her as it grows. A Kryptonian baby could have the strength to do some massive damage to her insides as it happens and could actually kick her to death not to mention laying waste to the hospital when they're born. 

Hey adrenaline explains all those things. Nothing special but you're just effectively supercharged for a few critical moments when your body goes into fight or flight mode. It hightens perceptions bringing things into greater focus. It improves your strength to help you run faster to escape or give you the strength you need to fight. It deadens some of the pain to allow you to ignore some of the damage done to your body. One of the jobs I had back in the day was servers which meant building, racking and stacking. This is typically a two man job in part because they're heavy but also you need to get the rails in straight otherwise if you bend them, they're ruined and you need to order a new set. That's a pain so we were supposed to to this with another person. I did a dozen of them all by myself with no help from either another person or a lifter or chair or anything. I was able to lift them into place. Keep them steady and make sure the rails went in straight. I got chewed out for it because I potentially could have cost the company money but I pointed out that I had been waiting for half an hour already for my partner to show up and never did until I had literally put in the last one. .

Doubt it and why don't you try it? It doesn't have to be professional just do maybe a five minute teaser on Youtube or something. See how that works out for you.

So coffee gives you the runs but Moutain Dew doesn't? Weird. It's obviously not the caffeine that causes it then. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
31 Aug
	
to me
Actually sometimes movies cut a lot out of stuff. 

Like in Harry Potter they cut peeves the poltergeist out entirely. That really pissed me off cause I love him. 

No. Mom is also on ssi and dad will eventually get his marine corps pension but he's not getting it yet. 

I'm love kevin conroy as well. I never noticed the m arkham ill thing. That's actually bens body btw. He worked out like a madman for the role. I actually like the voice modulator device. It prevents the bale fake gravel voice ???? 

Yeah that reminds me of a joke.

What did one orphan say to the other orphan? 

Robin, to the batmobile! 

Actually I believe it was vaguely explained that kal has complete muscular control even his urethra and vas deferens so he can slow down the flow of his ejaculation and his sperm aren't superhuman also they aren't genetically compatible with terran ova. The children of lois and clark are either genetically engineered via artificial insemination or clark turned into a human temporarily to make them. 

Yeah I have thought of that. Or a livecast on Facebook. 

Yeah it's not the caffeine I can chug a monster or NOS (which I prefer. Grapefruit flavored soda YUM!) and no ill effects but coffee and I get the screaming eagle shits I think I'm allergic to coffee. Strangely enough decaf doesn't do it to me and those starbucks bottles don't do it that much. So maybe it's a combination of caffeine heat and maybe the dairy in the starbucks settles my stomach slightly. I just get it bad from strong black coffee. My system is weird with the things it reacts to. 

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
31 Aug
	
to James
I'm aware that movies cut out a lot of stuff. And I'm aware that movie adaptations of books often times change things or modify them to match the narrative. For example, in the series "Game of Thrones" Jamie Lannister gets his hand cut off by a mercenary called Vargo Hoat who was aligned with Roose Bolton and part of a troupe known as "The Bloody Mummers". He's got a bit of a speech impediment and plays a modest role in the series. In the TV adaptation his character along with another was rolled into Locke who didn't have a speech impediment and tried to kill Jon Snow. Or the whole Shannara Chronicles which borrows heavily from "The Elfstones of Shannara" which is the second book in the series. Things are changed. Characters are introduced that played a smaller, or no role, in the book and other things are added to make it more exciting. Fact is in most cases the book is always better than the adaptation.

Gotcha. 

Yeah I never noticed it too until I was rolling the name around in my mouth once and it just hit me and I had to write it down to make sure I was looking at the right thing. But there it was. Arkham literally in the center of "Mark Hamil" this means it was a role he was destined to play. But are you aware that Tim Curry was originally cast as the original Joker and for some reason had to drop out? The result was that some of the early episodes had his Joker in them. I've been looking all over for examples of this but haven't found any. Somebody mentioned once that his joker was darker and more frightening than Mark's.

I'm sure Ben worked out for it but I'm still saying that his suit looked too bulky like there was too much padding underheath it. And yes, the voice modulator worked so much better than the Christian Bale voice. That was just stupid and by the third movie I couldn't stand it anymore. Of course they neutered Bane. Literally the biggest foe Batman has ever faced and they turned him into just a guy. Bane from the comics was Batman's equal. He figured out who Batman was. He was able to work out that Bruce Wayne was Batman and he destroyed him. Sending waves and waves of enemies at Bruce as both Batman and Bruce Wayne until he had exhausted himself. And then and only then did he face him and break his back. That was a Machiavellian work of art and they reduce him in the end to be some mercenary. Bullshit. 

As I said, this was written my Larry Niven back in the 60's and Superman has changed so many times over the past few decades that they can always come up with some bullshit way to fix it. Maybe he does so under the light of a red sun. Maybe he gives Lois a super potion so she can take the G's. Maybe they do so in a way that they ensure he won't accidentally crush her pelvis. As for children they've done this before. There was a series by John Byrne called "Generations" which was a Batman / Superman story through the ages and how connected their families and lives were. At one point Bruce Wayne Jr is dating Kara so Batman and Supergirl are doing it. Now in order to have her Lois had to wear an amulet designed to give off Red Sun radiation which would negate the young half-Kryptonian's abilities and prevent her from accidentally kicking her mother to death. Fact is, it's comic books and they can come up with whatever bullshit they want so explain things. If this was the real world however then Superman would be a virgin or every time he came inside a woman  he'd risk blowing her brains out. 

So what's stopping you? Gain enough traction and viewers and you could be making money off of youtube. This could be your job. You could even set up a Patreon page so that your viewers can donate to you. And so long as you're not making too much you can still stay on SSI.

All I know is that if I had to give up coffee for the rest of my life I wouldn't be happy about it. Coffee is life. Coffee is love. Or to put it into nerdier terms: 

"It is my by will alone that I set my mind in motion.
It is by the seeds of Java that thoughts accquire speed.
The hands begin to shake, the shakes become a warning.
It is by my will alone that I set my mind in motion. "

Ten points if you get the reference without having to Google it. 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
31 Aug
	
to me
Although I will never read nor watch game of thrones you still should have put a spoiler tag on that. 

I hated that. He was a luchadore and he was a hitman. He would fight those he killed because of some code of honor I think. I really didn't pay attention to him much outside of btas. I'm more of a superman fan tbh. I watched btas because it was sophisticated. It was serious without being stuffy, funny without being camp. I'm probably in a tiny minority but I always wanted Harley to leave Joker and date Ivy a while but it not work out and then she decides to stop being a criminal and become a good guy like the riddler did (in the comics or at least I heard he did) and them hook up. He's smart enough to not bore her she's unconventional enough to keep him entertained by trying to figure her out. I really do think it's a good match. But hey that's just like my opinion man. 

Nothing's really stopping me but if it's just me I would need a script because I wouldn't have someone to riff off of. Which would take time to write and edit and then rehearse enough for it to be good but not too much that it sounds fake. I guess I could try it out and see if it goes anywhere. 

No idea. I'm guessing hemmingway or eli whitney or somebody rugged? 

Well I have a busy day tomorrow and I need to try to get to sleep. 

Okay. 10 points to you if you get without googling.

Love isn't brains children, it's blood, blood screaming inside you to work it's will. You'll never be friends. You'll hate and you'll shag and you'll fight and you'll kill each other, but you'll never be friends. I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it. (I may have paraphrased but enough is there to remember if you know it) 

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
1 Sep
	
to James
Dude, it's Game of Thrones. Everybody has seen it at some point or read the books. It's like telling somebody the twist in "The Sixth Sense" if at this point in your life you never watched the show or heard of the twist then there's not much point in disguising it. Besides, with that show even if you've read the books the TV series has pretty much moved beyond it. There are still the elements here and there but as far as I'm concerned it's a completely different story now. 

It was like Venom in Spiderman 3. This was the guy that everybody wanted to see. This was Spiderman's worst enemy. I remember seeing the trailer and it looked good. I remember seeing Venom in his outfit and he looked amazing. Then what do we get? Topher fucking Grace as Eddie Brock. Fuuuuuuuuuck! Such miscasting of a role I've never seen before. Eddie Brock is supposed to be this big hulking man that is the opposite of Peter Parker in every way bpth physically, mentally, emtionally, ethically and the list goes on. And once he bonds with the symbiote they become Venom. When he fights Spiderman they're Venom, But no, they had to make it so every time Topher has to act they pull away the mask and we see his face. No, he sucked and he sucked hard! I remember walking out of that movie and actually felt cheated. 

And yes, I know his backstory and who he was and what he did and how they totally fucked over his character in the movie. I loved BTAS because in part Batman was cool but this wasn't a cartoon for kids. It was dark. It had it's own style which I loved. The characters were fleshed out and it seriously became one of my favorite cartoon series of all time. I was never much of a Superman fan however. He's just too perfect while Batman was all dark and tormented and driven. People say that he had no super powers but they're wrong. His super power was being the goddamned Batman. Nobody else could have carried that off except him. And yes, I played the hell out of those Arkham games.

And there's no harm in doing that. Check out some of the podcasts already on youtube. I usually can't listen to them for very long but sometimes they bring up interesting things. Check out how they do it and try writing out a script or not so much a script as an outline. Give yourself a chance to be spontaneous if you think of something to say and don't box yourself into an idea unless you literally can't do anything but. 

Nope nope and nope. It was modified from what got to be known as the "Mentat mantra" from the David Lynch version of "Dune". When we're introduced to Piter DeVries he repeats this mantra before drinking what I'm assuming is the juice he mentions in the following. "It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Safu that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion."

You can see it here: https://youtu.be/EMBb_tPPA8E?t=22s

Not a great movie by any stretch of the word but I like it even though it's a fucking mess.

And that's Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. An awesome show if there ever was one. I was sad when it ended but I do have "The Chosen Collection" which is 40 DVDs all in one box. Unfortunately it doesn't have the original pilot as one of the extras which would have been cool. There was a different actress playing Willow and there was nothing about "The Master". I'm happy they went with the crew they had because Allison Hannigan was cute as hell and she's a redhead. I love redheads which doesn't explain why my wife is a brunette and my girlfriend is like a dirty blonde. She says she's "strawberry blonde" but I don't see a lot of red in her hair. 

Here's one for you and I'll make it easy for you, it's from a Western: "All right, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down"
Attachments area
Preview YouTube video "It is by will alone I set my mind in motion" - Piter De Vries

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
1 Sep
	
to me
Your message got cut off.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
1 Sep
	
to James
Here it is again.

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
2 Sep
	
to me
Agreed about venom. They should have swapped the sandman and eddy brock actors around. 

Wow, never pegged you as a white hat.

I also have a redhead fetish. It's based on my crush on my sister when I was little. I also have red in my beard.

I would guess john Wayne but a bit vulgar for him so clint eastwood.

Okay here's one for you.

I'm gonna give you down at 10 to get your lousy no good four flushing Lily livered carcass of my door. 1, 2, ????????????????????????????????10!keep the change you filthy animal. 

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
2 Sep
	
to James
No, they should have avoided Venom altogether because they had too many villains and later on used somebody like "The Rock" or even better still attempted what they did with Colossus in "Deadpool". Fully CG overtop a big hulking guy but never have him take the mask off. We see him in his civilian identity, we see him change into Venom and we see Venom but we never see him pull the symbiont back so that we see his face as Venom. Keep that for the next movie. Although I'm still staying that had they continued with Tobey McGuire the next film would have focused on Dr. Kurt Connors becomming The Lizard and possibly The Vulture showing up at some point.

You really confused me with the term "white hat" and it took me a minute to get it because the term used also refers to a hacker but one that searches out, finds and reports on potential security issues for a company. I've got my certification in that but it's not part of my current job. Then I remembered in the episode "The Wish" where Cordelia gets a wish from demon Anya and she winds up in that parallel world where everybody is a vampire and they called the group led by Giles the "White Hats". So I'm guessing that's what you meant. If that's the case I've always thought of myself as more a "Wheddonite" than anything else. I loved Buffy. But I also loved Angel, Firefly, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Cabin in the Woods. and the Avengers movies. The only thing I had a hard time getting into was Dollhouse and I gave up after a couple of episodes. 

Redheads are hot. Not only is their hair really pretty, it's just such an amazing color but they have spirit, or at least the women do. 

You're partially right but you need to at least say where it's from so you only get half the points.. Notice that I mentioned it was Spike from Buffy, I didn't say it was James Marsters. No. So while I'll accept Clint Eastwood's *character* you still need to provide the movie that it's from at the very least.

And that's one's super easy, you paraphrased quite a bit but it's from "Home Alone 2" and the movie in question is called "Angles With Filthier Souls". The joke being that it's the sequel to the movie "Angels with Filthy Souls" that Kevin was watching in the first movie and used to similar effect. The interesting part is that those scenes were filmed specifically for "Home Alone" and "Home Alone 2" and are based on the old James Cagney movie "Angels with Dirty Faces". 

Now that we have the preliminaries out of the way, it's time to break out the real material. You need to provide the name of the movie and the name of the actor or the character they played plus bonus points are given if you're able to expand on the scene. The only proviso is that it needs to be a popular movie. Not niche, arthouse or necessarily cult. The point I'm going for here is it needs to be mainstream because let's face it, if I pulled out the line, "Don't be mean; we don't have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are" without any form of context I'm betting you'd be lost. That is from "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension" in the scene where Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers take to the stage and they're introduced to Penny Priddy for the first time. 

Do you agree to these terms? First one to fifty wins.

I'll start, "Get away from her you BITCH!" 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
2 Sep
	
to me
Yeah I prefer white hat to scoobies because I think only the members of the core group should be called scoobies. Buffy xander willow and giles and maybe Oz cordelia and dawn. 

You didn't mention firefly. I'm a huge browncoat. 

Too easy. Sigorny weaver as ripley in alien. She's attacking the alien in the forklift suit. 

Also it was home alone 1. Not 2, in two he says "merry Christmas you filthy animal, and a happy new year." 

Okay here's mine

Demon: Human, have you ever been to hell? I think not. Did you know that once hell was nothing more than the absence of God? And if you've ever been in His presence, you'd realize that's punishment enough. But then your kind came along...and made it so much worse. 
(The human the demon is talking to) Humans aren't capable of one-hundredth of the evil a shit-bag demon like you is. (spits in demon's face) 
(Beat) 
Demon: Evil... is an ABSTRACT! It's a HUMAN. CONSTRUCT. 
(Beat) 
Demon: But, true to his irresponsible nature, man won't own up to being its engineer, so he blames his dark deeds on MY ilk. But it's not enough to shadow his own existence, no! He turned Hell into a suffering pit! Why? Because it is beyond your abilities to simply make personal recompense for the sins you commit! No, you choose, rather, to create a psycho-drama, and dwell in a foundless belief that (whiny tone) "God could never forgive your grievous offenses"! (normally) So you bring your guilt and your inner decay with you to Hell, where the hoarded imaginations of so many gluttons for punishment gave birth to the sickness that has infected the Abyss since the first one of your kind arrived there, begging to be punished! And in doing so, they have transformed the cold and solitude into pain and misery! I've spent eons, privy to the flames, inhaling the decay, hearing the wail of the damned! I KNOW WHAT EFFECT SUCH HORRORS HAVE ON THE DELICATE PSYCHE OF AN ANGELIC BEING! 
(long, poignant pause) 
Demon: I'd rather not exist than go back to that. And if everyone else has to go down with me, so be it.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
2 Sep
	
to James
I never identified as anything like that. It's just a name that fans give themselves. It's no different than somebody calling them self a Jedi or trying to live by means of the principles set up in Star Trek and the Federation. And I totally mentioned Firefly, in fact it was the second thing I mentioned, here's the line again, "But I also loved Angel, Firefly, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Cabin in the Woods. and the Avengers movies." See? That second thing right after Angel and before DHSAB? Looks like Firefly to me. :p

Well I had to start off easy although I'll admit it's always the one I start off with when doing these things. And the suit was called a "lifter" but I'll let you have it. Although I always thought that the "Merry Christmas" part was in the first one? Oh well, at least I knew the franchise, situation and backstory.

Too easy, that's Dogma. With Jason Lee as Azreal but it's not valid. That's a deleted scene, not part of the actual theatrical cut that was shown in the theaters and the only way to see it was on DVD. Lucky for you I have that, saw it and felt it was a shame to have been cut because it actually gave Azreal a kind of reason for being the asshole he was. He was sick of hell, didn't want to go back to heaven and was tired of being neutral in the whole thing. He wanted to destroy everything because in destroying reality he wouldn't have to go back to either one and it would have made his death later a lot more poignant. 

Next quote: "I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of fool to think we're alone in this universe."

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
2 Sep
	
to me
I have no idea what movie that is.

Mine is

I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will quench your thirst. 

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
2 Sep
	
to James
That was from "Big Trouble in Little China" - Kurt Russell playing  Jack Burton talking on his CB radio as he drives the Pork Chop Express on another run. If you like Hong Kong action type movies with a bit of comedy and a hero that isn't necessarily all that cool but thinks he is, then you ought to check it out.

That's "Major Payne" with Damon Wayans as he's getting ready to punch a recruit but can't because he's been told he can't or something like that. 

Short but sweet, "Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun."

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
2 Sep
	
to me
You have to be cheating.

I don't know.

Don't you people ever die?

Okay my days so far. On the first I went and ran errands. I saw my enemy, unfortunately it was at the bus station which is neutral territory so I could no beat his ass. I walked 4+ miles in total over the course of the day and 3+ today. I'll send you some screenshots. I went to the bank and the other bank then went to a new Chinese restaurant and then to Best Buy and got an external battery for my phone then to Ruler it's a grocery store great discounts I got a 12 pack of tea and a gallon of Arizona green tea a 2 liter of cherry soda a mini watermelon a big block of cheese a mango a pack of popsicles and 2 lemons all for $20 then I went home then Today I went to the retro diner and had a shroom and swiss burger and fries and then a few hours later I went to kfc.

That's about all.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
3 Sep
	
to James
Please. I don't cheat and I actually take offense at that. My word is my bond which is a rare thing nowadays. It's just I have an incredible memory and I've seen a lot of movies. You have no chance of beating me in this game assuming that was your intention in the first place. I'm a trivia master. I'm an information sponge. My wife says my head is full of useless facts that interesting as they might be are useless in the real world except maybe on Jeopard. Besides, you shouldn't have said the first one was easy. I specifically went and chose some lines you probably have never heard from movies you never saw. 

The movie was "Army of Darkness" starring Bruce Campbell as Ashley J Williams speaking to Evil Ash (his literal evil twin) after Evil Ash was hitting him over and over again asks "are you the good Ash or the bad Ash?" Ash pulls out his shotgun, sticks it up Evil Ash's nose and says the line before pulling the trigger.

Is that your line? "Don't you people ever die?" Tricky because it could actually be more than one movie. It's either "The Crow" where Funboy shoots Eric Draven or It's "X-men" when Toad sees Storm fly out of the elevator shaft. But I'd have to go with "X-men" simply because there was more than one person with Storm.

So we can continue if you want, but I'll try to get things a little more mainstream if you prefer?

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
3 Sep
	
to me
Yes. It was toad. 

I didn't do anything today. I took one of my ice tubes out of the freezer and it was still liquid I tapped it and the ice nucleation thing happened but only slush not solid. 

Yes please.

Here's a gimme for you.

Person 1. The idea that I could fall in love at first sight! It's romantic nonsense. There's no scientific rationale for it.
Person 2. Come on, Person 1 . It's not science. You meet the right girl it just hits you. It's like lightning.
Person 2. Person 1, please don't say that.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
3 Sep
	
to James
Gawddamn that Linda is a freak. She actually got it on with a mother and daughter team in Finland of all places. SE Asia I can understand. She had a mother son team there once but Finland? Beats the hell out of me. Just the idea of a threesome doesn't work. You're there with two hot babes then you shoot your wad and then what? Sit back and watch? Nah, when I'm done I'm done. It's like either I'll grab something to eat or drink and then take a nap or watch TV or something. Sure it would be a thing to watch but I'd have to do it first. Then join in later.

Very nice. I tell you I take offense at something and you don't even say you're sorry. You're a piece of work you know that? At least I now know not to bother to say I'm sorry if I accidentally say something that you find offensive. I mean turnaround is fair play right? 

That would be Back to the Future, Marty McFly and Doc Brown when finding out who :"Clara" is.

Okay, something more mainstream, gimme a sec.... okay here you go, "I can't get it out of my head. A dream of seven years. Everyday I have this. And sometimes I wake up and I don't know where I am. I don't talk to anybody. Sometimes a day - a week. I can't put it out of my mind."

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
4 Sep
	
to me
She already told me. 

I thought the "offense" was sarcastic. 

No idea. 

What? You want me put on a grass skirt and dance a hula?

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
4 Sep
	
to James
Why the fuck would it be sarcastic? Did you see a smiley? Have I been anything other than straight with you up until this point? When we started this you thought I was a Kiwi Farms member. Do you still think that? I'm just saying that the answer to that last question better be no. 

You just drove Linda away. No word of a lie she's done with you after your last e-mail. Just spent half an hour with her on the phone. When I asked her why she didn't tell you herself she said something like, "I don't give a fuck. Tell him whatever you want. I'm tired of writing a fucking novel and he responds with two lines. I tell him things about my private life that could land me in jail because maybe he doesn't trust me or something but he still slaps my hand away. I'm done." The fact that you got her swearing like that shows that she's pretty angry with you. 

James, if you're not feeling well or you're angry or pissed off don't take it out on the person you're talking to unless they themselves are the source of it. What did Linda do to you to get this kind of treatment? Say what you want but I don't think this is something you can blame on your Aspergers. I've told you stuff like this before and you should have learned it by now. Don't make me regret opening contact with you again.

It was John Rambo from the movie "First Blood". 

As for yours, I don't know but it sounds familiar and I'm guessing it's malformed. By that I mean I think it's Timon from "The Lion King" but the line is, "What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?'. It's close, but we're looking for the correct line.

The line is: "They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent."

Now if you'll excuse me it's midnight and I'm really sleepy.

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
4 Sep
	
to me
I assumed levity because you continued with the game. 

Linda said she was forcing herself to write me I simply told her you warned me she might not answer a lot and I told her that was okay. 

What is it with the two of you? I tell you both I don't talk much and you both get offended. 

I don't have a life. You have a job or your home life to talk about and linda is meeting people all over the world. I'm really supposed to come back to you with.

Woke up ate some food and marathoned Gilmore girls all day. 

I don't do anything all damn day I'm boring. I respond to your and her stories but they are so different from anything I've ever experienced that I have no frame of reference to respond to you with. It makes me feel like I'm not living enough to keep you entertained. 

I don't know why linda thinks I'm mad at her. I'm a little frustrated right now because you're both mad at me just for being myself. 

Fine it's not Aspergers I'm just an asshole is that what you want me to say? I'm a jackass and I don't contribute to the world and I wish I were never born. Oh wait I can't say any of that because it's a guilty trip or a pity party and I'm not worthy of pity and I can't even say that because it's also a guilt trip. And I'm not even allowed to be angry because I don't deserve to be angry because this is all my fault, oh wait I can't say that either cause it's yet another guilt trip to manipulate you into liking me and I can't even say you shouldn't like me because that's also manipulation and I can't win. 

There's nothing I can do or say that isn't manipulative in some way. Tell linda that's another one of my triggers, that there's no way to apologize without making the other person feel bad and forgive you. You either lie and say you think you're wrong or you somehow get them to lie and say they're wrong. Nobody ever thinks they're wrong you just give up because you care more about the friendship than being right. 

I'm not a good man okay I don't know why you or she talk to me at all. I'm a mean callous jackass mad at the world for not being perfect but I can't be mad because the world can't be perfect because there is no god and if there is he/she/it is retarded for making flawed people that are little more than toys for him to play with. 

Oh I would say sorry here but you say "be a man, don't grovel" 

I only write a lot when I have a lot to say and so little happens in my life and so little happened in my past that if you wrote my life story you could mail the manuscript for a buck forty. 

So I'm not sorry if I'm too boring to keep up with you two. 

Now seeing it's 04:07 and I'm cranky from being tired and that's why I said all that I'm going to bed. 

I won't be surprised if neither of you talk to me again nobody stays forever loyalty from others is something I long ago found out I was never going to get no matter how loyal I am nobody else is.

Rick <[REDACTED]>
	
4 Sep
	
to James
"I assumed levity because you continued with the game. "

So I'm supposed to just take my toys home like a child when that happens? How this works with adults is one says they're offended, the other apologizes for it because you know they feel sorry for having done so, the first one accepts it and says it's okay and they continue on. Can't really do that in an e-mail so I was expecting you to say you were sorry which you didn't do even after several times and demanding it now would just be petty. James, you're inconsiderate but this isn't the end of the world. Give it some thought and you can change if you want to.

"Linda said she was forcing herself to write me I simply told her you warned me she might not answer a lot and I told her that was okay."
First of all she's a woman. They're a lot more emotional than we are. She was angry with your tone and felt how you just brushed her off. This wasn't the first time she mentioned something like this to you and you didn't seem to care about changing. You gave, "Microsoft answers" to everything. What are those? Well they're answers that tell you exactly what you asked for but absolutely nothing else including context. It's from an old joke which goes like this:

You're out in Washington a helicopter flying around and it starts to get foggy to the point where you can't see where you're going and you need to get back to the airport because you're running out of fuel. You turn to the pilot and say to fly slowly because you don't want to hit anything and after a few minutes see some tall buildings and somebody in an office. You wave them down and holding up a sign you write on it, "Where are we?"

The guy in the office writes on a piece of paper, "You're in a helicopter". 

You give him the thumbs up and tell the pilot exactly where to go to get to the heliport. A couple minutes later you land safely and the pilot turns to you and asks, "how did you figure out where we were from that answer?"

You say, "it had to be Microsoft."

He asks, "how did you figure out that?"

You say, "he told us exactly the answer to the question but didn't fill in any of the details".

That's what you do when you respond but you weren't like this at the start which is the frustrating part. It's like now you don't care, we're here and we're talking so you don't need to put any effort into it. Once that initial hurdle has been passed, you give up.

"What is it with the two of you? I tell you both I don't talk much and you both get offended."

You weren't like this at the start. And there were spurts of information from time to time. Little bits but for the most part it was just one line answers. I'm also not offended by that and neither is Linda. I'm disappointed in you and Linda just feels you're a huge waste of her time. 

"I don't have a life. You have a job or your home life to talk about and linda is meeting people all over the world. I'm really supposed to come back to you with."

So what's stopping you from getting one? I've said more than once to join a social club of sorts. Meet new people. Put that big brain of yours to work instead of sitting at home watching Gilmore Girls and masturbating. Observe. Learn. See if you can put those things into practice and it might lead to bigger and better things.

Do you know how I got my first job in IT? It was literally a fluke and I was in the right place at the right time. I think I mentioned that I used to wait tables when I was younger to pay for college? Anyway I found that "Waiter Rick" had a certain amount of goofy charm that people liked and responded well to. It was all an act but it served it's purpose and it netted me a bunch of regulars not to mention some really good tips. I got a deuce one day, that's two people by the way, and get into character and do my schtick. I don't remember what was said but somewhere after the meal but before coffee and dessert they asked me if this was just to pay for something or if this was my career. I admitted that I was in college but was also taking some IT courses on the weekend. He turns to his wife and says something like, "I knew it!". Turns out he owned a company and was always on the look for talented people in the biz and liked me and my style. He gave me his card, told me to give him a call directly when I graduated and got my certs and we'd talk. So a year or so later I give him a call, he remembers me and we set up an interview and things worked great. My skills and knowledge were what got me the job but it was my personality even if it was just a mask that got my foot in the door. You say you're smart. Why don't you prove it not only to yourself but to me and everybody else?

"I don't do anything all damn day I'm boring. I respond to your and her stories but they are so different from anything I've ever experienced that I have no frame of reference to respond to you with. It makes me feel like I'm not living enough to keep you entertained."

I'm a fucking storyteller. You give me a situation and I'll spin a yarn that includes all of what you told me for example you said, "Woke up ate some food and marathoned Gilmore girls all day." 

I woke up to the sound of water dripping. Last night's storm had really left it's mark outside and in. My landlord still hadn't fixed that damn pipe so every time I stood in the bathroom it would drip down onto my shoulders making me shiver. But no matter, the day awaited and of course the first thing on the menu was breakfast. I got up, still in my nightclothes, and wandered out to the kitchen to see what there was. I saw my mother and kissed her good morning. My Dad was off in the corner of the living room watching his TV with the headphones on, oblivious to the world but I still waved at him just in case. But he was so engrossed in whatever he was watching to notice me. 

I wasn't very hungry but decided to have some leftovers from last night's spaghetti. A few minutes later the plate was hot and I took it back into my room to eat and decide what to do with the rest of the day. As I was doing so I remembered that I had been marathoning GIlmore Girls and figured that would work. Maybe later I'd figure out what else to do. But before I knew it, it was dark outside. I had been inside all day just watching and eating. Oh well, I can still do something else tomorrow.

That's just quick and dirty off the top of my head without having to go into too much detail or anything. I never asked for a novel. I just asked for a little effort. 

"I don't know why linda thinks I'm mad at her. I'm a little frustrated right now because you're both mad at me just for being myself."

She doesn't think you're mad at her. She feels you're not taking her seriously and giving her anything in return for the emails. And she's not mad. I'm not mad. She's frustrated and I'm disappointed. There's a difference. 

"Fine it's not Aspergers I'm just an asshole is that what you want me to say? I'm a jackass and I don't contribute to the world and I wish I were never born. Oh wait I can't say any of that because it's a guilty trip or a pity party and I'm not worthy of pity and I can't even say that because it's also a guilt trip. And I'm not even allowed to be angry because I don't deserve to be angry because this is all my fault, oh wait I can't say that either cause it's yet another guilt trip to manipulate you into liking me and I can't even say you shouldn't like me because that's also manipulation and I can't win."

No please continue beating yourself up. It's totally necessary to the topic at hand. Is it possible to talk to you about things without you taking it to some extreme level? There comes a point where you need to take stock of what you've done. Aspergers only takes you so far. You seem to want to treat it like it's the Alpha and Omega of your existence. No matter how badly things go you always turn to it as a reason and whenever things go poorly you use it as a crutch. Do you know what happens when mine gets in the way? I try to learn from the situation and try to figure out a way in which that won't happen again. The only thing I can come up with for it happening time and time again is that you either don't care enough to change or you just don't want to put in the effort.

"There's nothing I can do or say that isn't manipulative in some way. Tell linda that's another one of my triggers, that there's no way to apologize without making the other person feel bad and forgive you. You either lie and say you think you're wrong or you somehow get them to lie and say they're wrong. Nobody ever thinks they're wrong you just give up because you care more about the friendship than being right."

Yeah, that's pretty stupid if you don't mind my saying so. Nobody is always right. Not me, not Linda and not my wife although she does like to think she is. You have a very twisted view of the world that doesn't actually match reality. 

"I'm not a good man okay I don't know why you or she talk to me at all. I'm a mean callous jackass mad at the world for not being perfect but I can't be mad because the world can't be perfect because there is no god and if there is he/she/it is retarded for making flawed people that are little more than toys for him to play with." 

Then learn. Why is this concept so difficult for you? I'd understand if you were an idiot with a barely functioning mind but you're not you're at least of average intelligence so it's not like I'm asking you for the impossible,

"Oh I would say sorry here but you say "be a man, don't grovel"

I've never said that in my life unless the person is actually grovelling. Do you know the difference? A man says, "sorry" when he's wrong and he's sincere about it. No sugar coating. No false bonhomie. Just the straight goods usually delivered with a handshake at the end and the question of, "so we're cool?" A child says, "I'm sorry" but typically doesn't mean it and is only saying it because they have to. This is where I feel you are. You think that the word "sorry" isn't good enough because you don't actually feel sorry for what you said or did, But you know what? I'd accept it because I'd hope that even a small bit of you felt genuine remorse. And as an aside to grovel would be to get down on your knees and beg forgiveness, to make a scene about it, to kiss the feet of the other person and in effect embarrass them in the process. That's something you don't do at all so why would I say such a thing? Words have context and meaning. Learn them. 

"I only write a lot when I have a lot to say and so little happens in my life and so little happened in my past that if you wrote my life story you could mail the manuscript for a buck forty."

Relying on tropes and platitudes now? Can you not use your own words?

"So I'm not sorry if I'm too boring to keep up with you two." 

I don't know if you're just sulking here or if you're genuinely too thick to understand what it is I've been trying to say since the very beginning. And part of me is wondering if you ever will understand because you're too resistant to change. 

"I won't be surprised if neither of you talk to me again nobody stays forever loyalty from others is something I long ago found out I was never going to get no matter how loyal I am nobody else is."

And have you ever stopped and considered that maybe you're the reason for this? I've got Aspergers and I've got a wife and a girlfriend both of whom think the world of me. I have a small but very loyal group of friends that would drop everything they're doing if I needed help and I in turn would do the same. I've flown halfway around the world for a friend because they needed me. I've never taken any of them for granted and in the events in which we've had disagreements or even fights it's never been so bad that we've fallen out over it.

But part of me is wondering if you're not just a lost cause?

I don't know if I ever mentioned him but I'll tell you about a friend called Chris. Like you he was unemployed, never had a job, never had a real girlfriend, lived with his parents on SSI and had a fetish for certain things which I won't get into. He, like you, was reluctant to change. But given time, encouragement and guidance he became his own man. He got himself a job and got off SSI and he enjoyed it even though he was getting less money than he did before. He got a certain satisfaction from it. This newfound satisfaction led to him moving out into his own place. This along with my and Linda's guidance gave him the confidence he needed to meet women and finally not only get a real girlfriend but actually get sex on a regular basis. He went into training and is now working full time as a security guard making decent money, his girlfriend is working as a waitress and they're planning for their future. The real difference here is that Chris was open to change. He listened, he learned and put things into practice. We gave him advice and he took it and worked with it. One of the proudest moments with him was when he applied things I told him and Linda told him to be able to ask that cute girl he was always mooning over out and she accepted. They were only together for a month or so but that was all he needed. His confidence skyrocketed from that point on and he was pulling down pussy left right and center. I was afraid we had created a monster but he finally met the one and they've been a couple ever since. 

But if you prefer to wallow in self pity then there's nothing I can do about that. Any change needs to come ultimately from you and all I can do it show you the door. You need to be ready, willing and able to walk through it,  

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
4 Sep
	
to me
Ok. I'm sorry. It's just how the hell can you keep all these movies in your head? It's just uncanny and I have trust issues. I'm sorry I accused you of cheating it's just wow.

Heard that joke before. I believe I was in elementary school when I heard it. 

Ok. It's anxiety. I see all the possible outcomes of talking to people and the majority are negative. 

There aren't many secular clubs in this town that aren't bars. I'm sure that somewhere there's a place for non drinking atheists to hang out but I have yet to find it. As soon as I get done with this email I'll google it but I doubt I'll find anything. I had fun at the comic book store the other day so that might work but it would feel weird to go there without money to buy stuff with. I'm always broke and as the saying goes "money makes the world go round" I walk around and if people talk to me I'm polite but it can be draining at times. I don't know the evolutionary basis for being nervous to talk to strangers, maybe it was tribal or something and it's taking generations of the lack of tribal warfare to rewrite the code on our brains to accept that not everyone is going to kill us. That's just speculation and probably wrong. 

I'm sorry I get so angry I have no excuse. An explanation but explanations are worthless because it would just be another crutch. It's probably going to take years of hard work for me to be able to convince myself that I'm not god and I'm wrong the majority of the time and the only time I'm right is when my views align with the majority of people and even if I'm right and everyone else on the planet is wrong I should just let them be wrong because it's impossible to keep friends if you remind them of their flaws all the time and that any character that keeps friends even when they're a dick only has those friends because of the writer keeping them in and irl nobody is friends with an ass no matter how smart he is. 

Actually the pipe only drips when it's raining but that's beside the point.

Why do you want me to pad the story? I'm writing like a archiver you want journalism. I have a small notebook that I have been using as a diary since 2009 and it still has 10 empty pages because I only write in it when I have a landmark event happen. Usually sex or some other big life event. I'm not a writer unless it's fiction and even then I write self insert fanfic which according to most people is the laziest form of writing there is. I wrote probably 3-5 chapters in a stenobook and that's only cause I was homeless and had no access to tv. I just wrote down my fantasies and perversion.

I could try padding out my stories but it would come out either looking like a romance novel without the porn bits or else epic poetry recounting my exploits or those of the people on whichever show I'm watching at the time. 

I'm sorry but that's how my mind works. En extremus. I'm not good with subtlety and nuance. I can follow it and enjoy it but I have trouble doing it myself. I'm an all or nothing guy I see black and white and colors but I'm colorblind to shades of gray (actually I really am nonmetaphorically colorblind to gray my mind overcorrects and I see a light blue or green or pink for the longest time I thought everyone say that way and that in b&w movies when they were in a certain age or genre they changed the black and white to black and blue or black and red or black and yellow. The wizard of oz being in sepia tone and I love lucy either being in black and sky blue or black and pure white and the shades of gray I would see as light blue green or yellow because my mind overcorrects, however in the above sentence I am speaking metaphorically I'm just padding right now.) 

I am an all in kind of guy hell I even fuck that way balls deep then just the base inch or two going in and out and when I see porn I always think why are you going all the way in and then all the way out? You're risking popping out no matter how big you are. Sorry more padding. 

But even when a person is wrong in an argument they will still try like hell to win because if you're wrong that means you're stupid and less worthy. Even though it's subconscious it still happens. Human beings are so narcissistic that even when shown proof that they're wrong some still fight some going so far as to ignore the evidence. I wish that wasn't the case because I know empirically I am wrong and I want to admit it but there's something in the subconscious that screams at me "you're never wrong you are God fuck anyone that disagrees with you" and I hate that that's in my head.  

You say I'm of average intelligence. "Dude, average is dumb." (Betcha can't name the movie that's from). 

I'm a genius in some things but for the important things I'm retarded I can barely do math except for algebra because that's how my mind works hell the only way I can do division is the reverse it into a multiplication problem and then solve it algebraicly by solving for x but if you ask me to do it the traditional way it would take me 10 times as long if not more. 

It's not just my body that's a collection of spare parts my brain is too. I'm not just ignorant of human behavior I'm stupid. I want to learn but the information refuses to stay in my head. 

Humans are far too complex for me to comprehend. If that means I will never have a meaningful relationship with another person then I guess that's what it means. 

If life were a video game it would be nothing but grinding and working for impossibly long amounts of time on missions to get the tiniest of rewards. 

There's a subreddit called /r/outside that treats life as if it were a video game and the participants of the thread are game reviewers and the majority of the posts are complaining so it seems to me everyone hates life we just don't know what else to do. 

What trope/platitude did I use? Who did I accidentally quote? I mean yes I paraphrased something lorelai said but you never watched the show so I figured it was safe. 

To answer your question I have very few of my own words.   If I can find a quote that fits the situation I use it because I don't trust myself to convey thought properly. 

I was just sulking. I have dark moods and feelings that come out. 

See ^^^ that! Was padding. If I were writing the way I do I would have just said the words "Just sulking." Because that gives the information, but it would seem every thought I have you need context and multisyllabic words. 

Of course I know I'm the problem but any time I try to make an effort to change I feel like I'm not being true to myself, that I'm lying to anyone I act normal around. That it's all an act and that they could never like the real me because the real me behind all the wanting to be kind and gentle and loving, if you peel back the layers of social conditioning and law and societal rules all that's left under it all is a werewolf with a machete a murder monster and everything else is just there to bury him. I think that would be the id. My id is very powerful in me and so is my superego but my ego is very weak and collapses under any disapproval. I have a moral code but only because it was taught to me. If not for society training me not to I would be violent and self serving and cruel. I'm a sociopath that grew a conscience out of necessity from outside pressures and punishment and reward. 

My brain is damaged somehow, idk if from birth or some head injury as a child but it doesn't work properly so I always have to assume I'm wrong and that really hurts my feelings because being wrong is the worst possible thing.   
 
I have a hard time believing that chris exists. However for the sake of discussion I'll assume I'm wrong as always and he does exist. 

All that story tells me is that in order to function in society and get sex and eventually love is to change everything about myself to conform to societies idea of normality, that the me I am is worthless and deserves to die so this new persona can take over my body and that makes me feel depressed, that my baseline existence isn't enough for anyone to love me. That I have to basically live a lie and act like a normal person. 

I already know that's the case, but I can't do it. I tried and for about 6 months there I thought I had someone that would love me and the DAY I revealed the real me behind the mask she recoiled in horror and left me because I had been lying to her that whole time. 

I'm not good enough for anyone unless they're not good enough for me, and that is a looooooow bar my friend. 

I walked through the door and the world grabbed me by the scruff and hurled me out. 

I'm nothing but a joke to normal people. 

Bonus:

Rubber baby buggy bumpers, I bet you didn't know I'm gonna say that did you? Ha! 

James Mitchell <[email protected]>
	
5 Sep
	
to me
Wow so much happens if you just leave the house.

I went on my walk playing Pokémon Go and as I was walking around I walked in front of the local gay bar they were having drag night an one of them was wearing a beautiful rainbow dress. If I were still bi I would have stopped in my tracks and tried to get in his panties lol I didn't see his face but he had a very nice figure. Anyway after that I went and sat down by the pokestop w/ the lure and met a mom and her two daughters and we chatted a bit about the game and where good hunting spots are the smaller of the two daughters was wearing ears and a tail adorable indeterminate age and all really nice. Then I talked to this really nice guy and then some guy that was annoyingly drunk or retarded so I blew him off. And I just walked back and forth up and down the street and then came home. On the way home I found a poncho. That's pretty much all that happened.

Now the padded version you prefer.

As I sat in my room bored and restless, it occurred to me that a long walk hunting electronically generated fauna might relieve my pent up energy so as soon as my phone had charged to 99% I put all the stuff due back at the library into my bag and dropped it off. From there I made my way toward downtown.

When I got there I encountered a woman and her daughter wearing team instinct shirts being team mystic I scoffed at them but not being one for prejudice I struck up a conversation alerting them to a nearby Pokémon that had just appeared then we chatted and walked together catching a few more here and there enjoying each other's company until they eventually left. A while later I was walking around and passed in front of the "Mark 3 tap room" our local gay bar which has recently changed location I assume because it's old location was very small and not a good spot. As I was walking through the crowd outside a man in a gorgeous multicolored dress and a unbelievable wig comes out. I only say the back of him so there's no telling what he looked like but had he been a real woman I would have stopped and talked to her. Very feminine figure let me tell you. Now seeing as I wasn't interested and because I am broke and couldn't do anything even if I were I went on my merry way I'm ashamed of the fact that part of me said "what is this san fran fucking cisco?" I don't know why I thought that but it was there. Then I went and sat down and caught a few more Pokémon and talked to this really friendly guy. Have you ever seen the louis CK bit about coffee where he says "that nigger made the fuck out of my coffee" about a white guy? Well this guy reminded me of the coffee maker guy impression louis did really friendly like almost too friendly you know I don't know why but it's like the uncanny valley but for kindness like he was too nice to the point he seemed like he was trying too hard or he was like really high but he wasn't acting weed high he was acting like how happy you get when you're drunk but without any of the impairment so probably pain relievers of some kind probably heroin but maybe with a little speed too to keep from being too mellow. Like just happy dude lol. Anyway after he left this fucking annoying mentally defective dude starts talking to me and I could barely understand him he was either retarded or drunk either way he pissed me off and pretty much ruined my night so I came home. On the way home I saw a piece of fabric hanging out of a trash can I pulled it out and a beautiful fleece poncho was what it was I got home and I was locked out my father didn't check if I was home before he locked up and I had to yell through the screen door to be let in because even if I had had my key it doesn't unlock the screen door which locks from the inside and doesn't have a key anyway. He was asleep and staggered his way out. He wasn't drunk it's just his balance is sight based and he has horrible night vision so anyway. When I got home there was spaghetti sauce in the crock pot and noodles in the fridge. I made that and turned on Amazon prime to Star Trek Voyager starting from the first episode again. This will be my 3rd or 4th series run through for voyager if I decide to binge it. Of course I might not seeing as the new shows are coming out and old shows are coming back with new episodes. So not 100% sure what's going to happen.

There. That's the most context and padding as I can possibly give and that was fucking exhausting. I legitimately have a dime sized headache in my forehead above my right eye about an inch or two deep.