Glocktalk

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Glocktalk

Typical Glock Talk poster...Rumored to be twoblackbelts.

Glocks are so easy to use, even a niggercan use one.

Two Glocktalk posters. Note the Glock tattoos and Kool-Aid guts.

Glocktalk is where antisocial misanthropes hang out to talk guns, politics, worshipping their billionaire hero and how much better things were before niggers could vote. They're the guys who are just internets savvy enough to log on to a message board with chronic server problems, but aren't quite smart enough to get an account at Democratic Underground or XDTalk. However, we should all be impressed that they're able to get on-line at all, given that every single one of these inbred hilljacks says that he lives alone, with only his gun collection for company, in an underground bunker full of C-RATS, gay pornography, and Chick tracts. These rabid knee-jerk militia wannabes all say they wear 5.11 pants (with diapers underneath), have swastika and Glock-brand logo tattoos, can carry spare high-capacity magazines up their butts, and only leave their bunkers for their annual "Mate with Your First Cousin!" festival.

The serious ones meet biannually at the nation's largest gun show for a circle jerk. Each and every member of Glocktalk claims to be a former Delta Force, SEAL, Force Recon, Mall Security, SAS, CIA, KGB, Spetznaz, Mossad, Cosa Nostra, and/or SWAT operative. However, this is doubtful since none of them are making the big, big money as mercenaries, let alone enough to get off welfare.

At least once a week, one of these Cro-Magnon losers starts a thread asking for relationship advice, but any such thread is invariably drowned out by rebel yells and cries of "THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!" Niggers, despite their affinity for the Glock 40 ("foh-tay"), generally do not have accounts at Glocktalk. A few "Glocktalkers" claim to be women (some even claiming to be women married to their other accounts). Most Glocktalkers look forward to "The End of The World as We Know It," which they call TEOTWAWKI, when those with Glocks will rise up against the forces of liberal democracy and take back the south once and for all. The internets hates Glocktalk, [1][2][3] probably because visiting there for any length of time will make you ghey and unemployed.

"GET RID OF THAT NICKEL-PLATED SISSY PISTOL AND GET YOURSELF A REAL LIVE WOMAN! NOT A CLOCK!" - what Tommy Lee would say if he met half the guys on the Glock Talk Forum.[4]

Typical Glocktalk Post

"I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America's largest indoor retail shopping areas....I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. "[5]

Reply from a Glocktalker!1?!

Well, that there article plumb hurts my feelings..... 

First, I ain't no losser. Some of us ain't like you "mister hoity-toity",fifty-cent word using 
big man. I finished most of my schoolin up to the 9th grade. When I was 22 I HAD to quit school to 
tend to my young uns. As far as being a "mysantric" looser, or whatever the hell that word was, 
well you and everyone else like you can just go to hell, y'all are just stupid and I hate you.

And as far as logging on to discuss my chronic server problems, you just don't know what you are 
typing about. First, I got all the chronic I need. Besides, we got this guy named ERIC, he is what 
we at GT call a 'ADMINISTER", cuz if you even HINT that you need some chronic and are having 
problems gettin some, he will ADMINISTER a asswhoopin on you, because he ain't gonna tolerate 
talkin 'bout nothin ileagle. He will bann your butt, and throw you out faster than we threw my 
Uncle Travis out of my wedding. Huh! Tell ME I ain't good enough for his dauter.

Another thing, I don't need no account at no stupid Democritic Underground. I have an account 
at the BANK OF AMERICA fool. Like in the USA-- America? Ever heard of that? You think they let 
just anyone in that bank? Hell no. If it weren't for the fact that I have a thick background in 
the USAF seals and other 'special forces' stuff that I can't discuss with you becasue YOU DONT, 
I would not be their either. I don't know about all them other clubs you mentioned except the 
Mossad one. Them guys are mostly Jewish and go to church on Saturdays. Them Mossads, they are 
like our swat teams (of which I have been a member). Well ain't you surprised that we have 
Jews on GT, they are as welcome as the Mormons and other political groups. So much for the 
"right wing only" crap you rote. We even have one guy who is the "Rabbi". That is what they 
call the head guy of the Jewish Swat team. He is an old guy in a hat, according to his pitchre, 
but don't let that fool you. He is real smart about everything, and don't ever get mad even when 
he should, and we don't mess with him. He is rich and probably owns banks and expensive cars and 
other stuff.

Anyway, in spite of my super secret special forces background that I can't talk about, even with 
my wife, some of us are not even soljers. Thats rite smart man, some of us are COPS. 
Yeah, how about that.

We even had a homersexule come on once. His name was Charlie, and he was real nice. I liked him a 
lot. I bet a lot of us wrote him private letters like I did. It don't mean we were gay or nothing. 
If someone did. But I didn't. I miss him coming on GT. So who is rite wing now? NOTE: I DID NOT 
REALLY LIKE THE HOMO GUY AT ALL. I AIN'T LIKE THAT. I WOULD NOT EVEN READ WHAT HE ROTE. I DID 
NOT EVEN REALLY KNOW HE JOINED UP. SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME. I AIN'T NO NANCY BOY. I DON'T EVEN WEAR 
COLONE. BUT ME AND EARLENE (MY WIFE WHO IS A FOX AND A MODLE AND SAYS THAT WHEN I GIVE MY SEXY LOOK, 
REMINDS HER OF TED NUGENT WHO IS A GOD) PRAYERED FOR HIM TO CAST OUT THAT DEMON OF GAYNESS.

Speaking of Earlene, thank all you for the advice. Me and Earlene (who looks like a super modele) 
are doing well. I followed y'alls advice and will allow her brother to visit. As long as I am home 
to make sure things don't get out of hand again. I have decided she can keep the baby after it is 
born instead of giving it to those guys for $200. I don't really care who it looks like as long as 
it don't have all the hair all over it like the other one did.

Every body does have more than one account. I have a little trouble membering things like code names
and passwords. so naturally I either log in as me, or sometimes I just have to make a new one. 
I got hit in the head a lot as a boy and we lived in a place with a lot of lead paint and so I 
have that ADD thing and short term memories, but I don't marry myself like you said we all do. 
Sometimes I take advantage of myself when i am drunk, but I know that ain't real.

Anyway I just thout I shold answer back and let you know that not every body here at GT is 
like what you said. Some of us are just normal God fearin, good old Americans who don't have 
any good drawers to wear. THAT is why we go commando. We don't live in bunkers, but in trailers 
like everybody else in the world.

See Mr big word using trouble maker guy, I bet you feel real dum about all that stuff you rote. 
you should, you dummy.

Misantropitic loser.....I hate all of you.