Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/March 31, 2024

Easter

Easter, also known as Spring Halloween, Zombie Jesus Day, Christmas For Fat People or Bunny Furry Day is a favorite holiday of women because it usually entails "HAWT" guys with zero body and painted on abs running around in loin cloths while others know it as the day when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. In lieu of a macabre theme, Easter is an upbeat celebration of the crucifixion of His Royal Highness Jesus H. Christ, King o' the Jews. It also celebrates the irony of a carpenter being nailed to a piece of wood. Although the crucifixion precipitated his eternal death, he was revered by early Christians for having been nailed by like two hawt soulja boy guidos at once.

To the non-Christian fanatic, Easter, like Christmas, is just merely another day off from work or school to be used as an excuse to get drunk all day and eat as much candy as possible. It can be a nightmare for television-lovers though, as nothing worthwhile is being shown on TV as every other channel has freaky old men in robes who babble about the Great Jebus and read boring hymns from books. Not to mention the stupid parades and the countless Lifetime and Hallmark channels that show hours of shitty Easter movies. Turn off your TV and watch p0rn online instead.

(( Remember To Eat The Chocolate Bunny Ears First So They Can't Hear The Cries Of Their Friends ))

What have I missed?	Texas 2 days ago	Abigail and Brittany Hensel 4 days ago	Dan Schneider 6 days ago