Comment whore

A variety of attention whore who uses a message board, forum, or journaling site for the express purpose of gathering the warm fuzzies generated by the insincere well-wishes of complete strangers who probably just TL;DR'd the post in the first place and are merely posting something ghey like ~HUGZ!~ or <3 because as their glazed eyes skimmed down to the next batch of quiz results or Evanescence lyrics, they just happened to catch the words "cutting myself" or "fat" or "welfare check".

There are a number of classic comment whore tactics, including:

"FIRST" or "FRIST" or "FIST PROST" or "FIRST COMMENT LOLOLOLOL"
"I am a total fat slob" (cries, cuts)
"I have an incurable disease that's more elite than yours" (cries, cuts)
"Nobody likes me. None of you are reading this anyway." (cries, cuts)
"My bipolar/eating/social anxiety disorder is totally out of control. My medication/meditation is no longer working." (cries, cuts)
"I have no money and I need to buy shoes for my child. Please follow my paypal link." (cries, cuts)
"At 9:45 last night, the Secret Service showed up on my mother's front door to talk to me about what I said about the President..." (cries, cuts)
"Just so you know, last night my mother was murdered." (cries, cuts)
"Here are some pictures of my cats!"
Prior to the suspension of his journal, Fireuzer had devised a method involving a self-made spam script aimed at his own journal, which scored him over 200,000 comments, Marksmith apparently became very jealous of this and listed it as one of the reasons in his suspension.
"Do I look like (insert latest celebrity here)?"
"Thumbs up if you agree (with me)..." [On Youtube]

Of course, all of these fine comment whoring tactics can be easily doubled in efficacy by merely disabling comments on the post in question, thereby obligating everyone on the planet to find the next most recent post and comment about the comment-disabled post.