Adam Lanza/Dream

<Adam Lanza

Today I dreamt a Columbine reference for the first time. I've probably never had one before because I've scarcely ever cared about Columbine. I began my dream by waking up at age 14 in my extremely dark bedroom during a power outage. I knew that there were ghoulies outside my locked door, roaming around the rest of the house. I tried to get my pocket flashlight to work, but it wasn't consistently staying on. Replacement batteries didn't help, so I instead tried using my backup flashlight: a partially-filled roll of dimes. I spent a while fumbling around with loose dimes, trying to fill up the roll, and eventually "my brother" came up to the other side of the locked door. He told me that he needed my help with the ghoulies.

I was saying, "Oh, fuck off. I know you're not my brother. You yourself are one of the ghoulies", as I was continuing to fumble around trying to fill the roll of dimes. I ended up not having enough dimes to entirely fill it, but at least I had enough for it to give off a dim ray of light. I got out of bed and prepared for a fight with the ghoulies. I went downstairs as my flashlight dream-vanished, but at this point the rest of the house was dimly lit anyway. As I was about to go into the kitchen, a huge purple monster with long arms leapt forth from around a corner and pinned me against a wall. It sort of looked like this: (Image Down)

I realized that it was some student I knew when I was 12. He tried talking to me, and basically said something to the extent of, "Everyone picked on me for being a huge purple monster, and so now I'm going to go Columbine. I already went to a bunch of other kids' houses to find a partner, but they refused my offer, so I ate them. You're next on the list. Do you want to join me?". The way it apparently worked was that I could get bitten by him and then choose which form I wanted to be in at will. I thought, why not get bitten by him so I could become a cool purple monster whenever I pleased, and then just use my new monster powers to kill him right after he bites me? So I was like, "Sure, bro".

He kept trying to bite different parts of me, but it always ended in me whining, "Ooowwwwww", he would let go, look at the spot, and say, "I didn't bite long enough! It didn't work". We went through this for quite a while, and then I had the thought that, "You shouldn't just bite me -anywhere-. It should be high up on my arm so people don't see the mark, the same reason why doctors inject patients on their arm (dream logic). He rolled up my sleeve, pointed at my vein, and I said, "No! Doctors would find out because they inject there, of course! It has to be higher". He kept pointing to various places as we were walking around the house, but none of them seemed suitable to me.

He gradually dream-changed into having an awfully-constructed syringe in his hand with all sorts of bent needles all over it, and I procrastinated by getting him to talk about the music he liked. I had decided at this point that I should just kill him rather than wait to get turned into a cool therianthrope because his needles were really starting to freak me out. Then I realized, "Hey, if you were feigning my brother's voice, then that means you must have killed him!"

I ran down to the basement as he was assuring me he hadn't done anything, and I saw my brother soundly asleep. I went back up the stairs and saw an opportunity to kill the huge purple monster, seeing as he had transformed into a cardboard box. I shred apart the box as dawn approached while he was complaining about how confusing I was. "All the other students just screamed at me, but you accepted me, and now what are you doing? You're tearing me apart!", and I told him to shut up or something like that as I tore apart the last bit of cardboard.

My brother walked up the stairs, but it wasn't really him! He had been brainwashed into believing that he was someone else from my childhood, whom I'll call Billy, and he had even been made up to look sort of like him. I asked him who he thought he was, and sure enough he said Billy, and that he was moving away to college. I followed him into the garage, trying to find a way to convince him that he wasn't Billy before it was too late.

Once I entered the garage, my nonexistent kindergarten-age sister was blocking my path while crying for some reason. I affectionately embraced her in my arms and tenderly kissed her. She woefully said, "I don't want you to kiss me" as her crying got worse. I was annoyed that she had been brainwashed into thinking there was something evil about kissing, so I picked her up and tossed her over the railing into a pile of cardboard boxes several feet below.

Heroically getting back to the task at hand, I looked out at the open garage door, where there were all sorts of non-existent relatives assembling outside in the full-blown morning. There was some fictional high-status male family member at the garage door reading from a scroll in his hands. He was giving the eulogy for my "dead" brother! There were some assorted people in the garage who were walking toward the outside, and I saw that among them were two pastors. My horror movie experience indicated that pastors help with all sorts of ghoulie problems, so I called them over and explained that my brother wasn't actually dead.

They were shocked and agreed to help stop the ceremony. One of them followed me toward the eulogizer, but at this point, the garage was significantly larger and was extremely crowded, to the extent where I couldn't even pass anyone. Everyone stopped walking as they turned to look behind us at someone who was walking forward. It was apparently her birthday, so the only logical thing to do was hum the wedding march. The pastor and I sighed as we hummed with them, waiting for them to move forward again. The song ended, she stopped, and said, "I'm glad that you're all here today".

Various views of multiple explosions went through my mind, and at the end of it, a third-person overhead stationary view showed some WASPs in a residential park doing all sorts of recreational activities. Text appeared saying, "At least now there was plenty of space for racquetball". I realized that I had been watching a YouTube video, part 11/11. I thought, "Wow, that was a pretty surreal movie. I'm bookmarking this and I'll go back to look at the other parts later". I woke up in real life and realized that YouTube would remove the videos from their website along with all internet references to them by the time that I managed to get online, so I typed this for posterity.