AHS
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AHS, or Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai is an internet forum with over 21,000 registered members dedicated to the J-Pop singer Ayumi Hamasaki. Ayumi Hamasaki is widely known as the most irritating J-pop singer of all time due to her screechy voice, and the fact that she appears to have been moulded from cheap Chinese plastic used to make fake Beyblades. Not only are a majority of members fucking morons, they are also mostly Weaboos. They spend near all their time on this forum posting nearly 100 times a day. They have no real sense of humor and many members are even Britney Spears fans (thus meaning that pretty much the whole forum lacks any musical taste. Among the members, there are also 13-year-old boys, Twinks, fat girls and even a fat bitch mod that eats babies and Saiyans for food. OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
Having fun is not allowed. Any attempts at having fun at AHS will result in you getting massive "flames" or being banhammered. They now delete your threads for being "too chatty" or being offtopic.
Most members are in fact infected with Internet Disease. Most of them take "glamour shots" and spend all their time on the site.
They also believe their banned members are worth more than their inactive members, and that Ayumi actually cares about them.
However, they still remain one of the few forums - or only - to have made any actual contact with Ayumi Hamasaki. This occurred in 2010 when Ayumi visited England.
Join the lulz fest ... AHS
History
Made in 1999 by the user Zef - real name Michael Hosepedales - it has slowly but surely grown in population over the twelve years, finally at around 21,000+ registered members. (60% leeches, 35% dead accounts, 5% who actually post...and 100% Wapanese.)
Many have left as the years have gone on due to many bitch-fests and sulks; with only a handful staying from 2002 - which is when its current server was first used. Although old members sometimes try and come back in a blaze of nostalgic glory, they soon realised that the forum has been taken over by weaboos and trolls, and quickly make their leave. Those who have struggled to keep on holding to their rose-tinted image of what was once a good forum, post very little, in order to keep their delusion as realistic as possible.
In early 2007, the member, Impracticable, posted a very long, lulz-inducing paragraph about the Demon-Bitch. Not only was it a lulz-fest, it was also written in Al-Bhed. The language from Final Fantasy X. The morons of AHS took days to figure it out, and it was pure lulz until then.
Also in 2007, a really fat annoying Weaboo joined the forum under the name Koihime. Everybody really really hates this fat fucktard. Many members even suspect she is a lesbian. She posted useless shit about dumb fucking Animu and made so many threads about absolutely nothing. However, she has now thankfully left, hopefully never to return. But in the true spirit of the internet, she's been replaced by more Wapanese that desperately want to be Ayu's Biggest Fan!!11 but fail terrible at life anyway. See below for details.
Unimatrix Prime
Obsessive weaboo who prefers World of Warcraft to having sex. He was dating Delirium_Zero until she realized what a loser he is and left.
Demon Bitch kicked him out of AHS in one of her finer moments.
GRACE
Grace was a cool member who saw the truth of what Ayu actually is. The moronic AHS members made him lose his mind and commit suicide. His account was terminated later on.
Introducing JPopYuna
In 2010 AHS was hit once again by the singing sensation, JPopYuna. With her dazzling good looks and powerful singing voice, she won over- no, I joke, she's terrible.
Everyone hated her there and she refused to go away - a situation now being repeated with a user called YuriChan. (Yurichan00 on Twitter, where she found out about this page.). However, the rabid Koda Kumi fans finally managed to drive the tone-deaf bitch away; but unfortunately she still continues to sing on her million Youtube pages, making sobbing pleas for the trolls to stop and wrecking weaboo's favourite songs. She even made a video with a blank screen, with a voice-over of her crying and with a script to stop the trolls from just saying the truth - she cannot sing. At all.
—JPopYuna, before she found out no one cares. |
Most of her accounts have been banhammered from Youtube, for copyright infringement. Although she seems to have gone back to her natural instincts and crawled under a rock somewhere; we're sure she'll come back looking for more attention soon enough.
YuriChan
HISTORY:
YuriChan, who used to be HONEY_INSPIRE_ME19 on AHS, used to be a quiet, if not slightly delusional member of the online cult, posting her crappy lyrics over and over on their emo Lyrics thread, saying she was awesome while everyone agreed, but secretly thought she had to be a troll. Unfortunately, YuriChan is no troll, and she seems to be here to stay.
While trying to be best buddies with anyone who innocently posts or tweets while she is online; what's sadly even more funny is the way everyone fucking ignores her, and she still doesn't get the hint. While she doesn't spam singing attempts all over Youtube, she instead spams her just as shit words all over anywhere AHS members might be. Also, because she's a wannabe model, she posts up her ugly face - unfortunately, not with the fat girl camera angle - all over the AHS Members Photos thread, deluding herself with comments such as "I think I look like Koda Kumi/Ayumi Hamasaki here". Although hilariously funny, it's also terribly annoying - which is why she makes her envious debut here.
—YuriChan, on discovering she was on Encyclopedia Dramatica. |
—Typical Wapanese talk here, we wonder if pommy48 even likes her?. |
We now only wait for her to actually start asking AHS members what they truly think of her, and hopefully they won't all bullshit that it's just the trolls speaking. Of behalf of the sanity of AHS, do not let this member be so delusional. It's AHS' only hope of finally becoming a credible forum.
It's a shame that she's still nervously laughing on Twitter upon reading this article, but to anyone else reading, we know you're laughing at her, not with her. And although it's easier to think that we hate her, think as it more that she's bad entertainment, like Jersey Shore or Big Brother.
—Yes Fuawas, we're stupid when you can't even spell. Lovely. |
2010 - 2011 Drama
There are always crazy stans out there, but none as bad as Paella Guy. Paella Guy has unfortunately deluded himself that he is Ayumi's BFF. Yes, because she knows his name from over Twitter and the fact he's spent way too much money on going to see her everywhere, he now thinks they're going to eat paella, and has requested she wears no make-up.
Of course when this made its way onto Ayumi's Twitter page, AHS was hit by a wave of envious fans, who both were jealous and disgusted by Paella Guy's stan-ness. He then decided to, of course, prolong the attention for as long as possible. Eventually AHS managed to get rid of him, but he still lol's from his Twitter page, where he still is planning the now infamous paella meal and stalks Ayu, wearing nothing but his chest hair and a pair of suspenders.
UPDATE: Now she has married, Paella Guy now is now psychologically analysing the situation logically with another Ayu-stan, known as the J-hobo (see main picture). They both cry over Twitter and call her fake and bash her 'eurotrash hubby', while still trying to say they are indeed, looking out for their favourite singer. You couldn't make it up.
To add even more fuel to the flames of the latest Paella Guy drama; Misa-Chan and MissElin_ at AHS have both told the whole of AHS about buying tickets for Paella Guy to go to an Ayumi concert with them, but he resold the tickets and bought a better one at the front of the stage. With moar and moar butthurt from all members; he has retreated once again to his Twitter hole, where he continued to bitch about Ayu until she replied to him, where instantly he became her BIGGEST FAN EVAR!!11 once again, concocting a plan to instead make her paella, and probably poison her new hubby. You'd think Ayu had more sense than to talk to a fan so obsessed, but then again IQ isn't needed to be a supah kawaii J-Pop singer.
TWITTER DRAMA
—-Jorge BEFORE Ayu tweets him |
—Jorge AFTER Ayu tweets him |
AHS = The Anti-Fun Parade
AHS is infamous for being strict; with rules against talking about your sexuality, and being anti-fun. Because they can. It doesn't seem to help that every member seems to hate eachother though.
They ecspecially hate hyper fat girls, though.
AHS has always seemed to have a weird phobia about banning people. Apparently this is due to the two moderators actually having the power to ban hardly ever being online. Funny, you'd think they'd make a more active mod have the power too, huh? Not in AHS-World, where nothing makes sense, nothing is fair, and trolls can get away with murder. They desperately need a revamp of staff; but all of them except nmskalmn (obviously) are worried about being stripped of their powers. Gay.
Staff
Founder - Zef - Really a Weaboo/Wapanese, He hardly ever posts or even visits the forum anymore, except in fits of randomness just to piss people off.
Admin - Isaac Hiew - Not a bad guy, but his avatar is a near naked drawing of Ayumi, and the Demon Bitch nmskalnm is basically his Internet pimp.
Admin - SurrealDreams - Apparently, is a figment of our imaginations, seeing is this Admin is just a few Surreal Dreams. ==lulz==.
Token Faggot - bulmasman - Appears to be the least annoying moderator on the forum. Which isn't saying much really to be honest. Hardly posts anymore and sucks up to mega-poster pommy48 in his signature.
Protector? yaright - EdenZone - Never posts. lulz@noob.
Mini-Demon - Corybobory - Hardly posts anymore, because she's too busy having so much sex and working so hard.
Drag Queen MaMa - soysaucestar - Claims to be a sexy cow, even thoguh she looks like a man. She is in fact a lesbian.
The Rest - Cyria, devilayu, Halla, Love Appears, Ryoko, sugarbasil, ~ayu-cake~ - These Staff members either don't post enough or aren't moronic enough to have anything said about them.
Demon Bitch
mnskalmn - Likes to be really inactive, then pop up every so often just to show she's still alive. Her real name is Julabia Cuntrowski. Nobody likes this fucking whorebag because she is an illiterate bitch and overreacts to everything. To top it off, she doesn't even like Ayumi anymore yet she is pretty much running the forum. No, I'm not joking. This forum is made of fucking morons.
New Bitches~
New members that are fags or lesbians
Fabulous Once rumored to be a transgendered, it was confirmed to be a "him" by MemorialAddress08 and koda♥ in the Koda Kumi Thread 476347698436538946538949654389653894654389 and One 1/2. This He-Bitch likes to spend time being a an hero and getting butt hurt when getting pwnd by the mods. [*Note: May try to covert you to its HSM Ashley Tisdalde/ Zefron loving cult]
JackieRos Is actually a lesbian. Used to be an emo troll and then decided on her/it's 100th hate message that it'd try and be cool and fit in. It still doesn't, but at least it's quieter.
ストロボ・EdGE Used to be bearable but is now an Ayu-fag that's so up his own ass it's untrue. Is usually pwned like no tomorrow and then grovels to the older members so he can still fit in. Whiny bitch.
drdolce Used to be quiet and then went and worshipped the slut of Koda Kumi for a while and now hates everything Ayu puts out because she doesn't sell sex like Kumi to do it. Why is she still at the forum? It's a mystery.
Pieces_of_SEVEN A short gay faggot who is a complete Ayu stan, and therefore retard. He will have gay sex with any other male and is constantly trying to post pictures of himself with no clothes on. Desperately wants to have sex with ストロボ・EdGE.
AVOID LIST
These members are whiny bitches. This is probably you.
Luv~Venus~: Now going by Yoobin or some shit, thinks she's fooling people.
Austin: Makes more suggestion/complaining threads and post more complaints than your mom. Thats alot.
se7entheaven: Made a "Are you ignored at AHS" thread. Nuff said.
fantasma: Fat ugly child molester who follows JackieRos around agreeing with whatever it says.
KarenPang: Made a long ass post on her blog complaining about rookies treating her like shit. Constantly talking about her period.
Earth_Maiden: The fattest, dumbest bitch at AHS. Is racist, sexist, and a lesbian. Best friends with SURREAL_RAINBOW who she is secretly in love with.
Bigtop: His name is Bigtop. Obviously he is retarded.
Beauty41236548: Avoid pictures at all costs. The name is a TRAP.
wildconnetta: Some 15 year old weaboo boy who keeps coming back to AHS for the other gay weaboos.
4MinuteGirl: A random male troll that comes to AHS to steal people's sets and babble incoherently.
YuriChan: Asks everyone 'am I childish?', stalks everyone from AHS on Twitter and Facebook, and then acts like she's the shit because Ayumi replied to her twitter. Which is all well and good, before she starts claiming her ugly face looks like Ayu or Koda Kumi's. Girl needs a reality check. Also, tries to edit ED to be funny. But fails amazingly.
The 0.5% that are human
Want to obsess over Ayu but don't know how to tell who isn't a slavering forty-year old in underwear or wapanese? Here's a short-list.
zoomzoom
ero-kakkoii - One of the most realistic members of AHS. Rabid Koda Kumi fan.
RikkuChii
Banzaiii - aka Yvette.
MemorialAddress08
Kanzaki88
Lizzyboo - Hot redhead with a firebush I'd love to have on my dick.
MISSING!!!
Members who left because AHS is a stupid shit hole full of stupid ass dick wads with no life.
Delirium-Zer0 - Returned, went, returned, went - and now appears to have left permanantly because the Demon Bitch wouldn't let her enter the latest AHS competition, because of some forum that she had joined years ago that pissed off AHS. Seriously.
Cherrim - One of the sane 0.5% that has gone to be, well, normal.
JPopYuna - Was finally chased away by the Koda Kumi family, but is probably stalking on a sock account.
HybridTheory Returns to post occasionally, but has never really recovered from encountering Kohime.
External links
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