User:ANUS DESTROYER/Spiderbro

Spiderbro is a meme that originated from a greentext story thread in /b/. Spiderbro is the only species of spider that doesn't have you on the list of things to bite today. He's looking out for you and even getting you laid. The story was about a guy who met a girl and took her home to have sexy time. This was interrupted because Spiderbro, our protagonist, bit the the cumdumpster’s left tit. She ran out of the house screaming. The guy was pissed because he didn’t receive any sweet, sweet ass that night. Little did he know the girl was riddled with AIDS. The guy soon found out that this spider had been a total bro and saved him from the buttvirus. This is very unlike a spider, because their normal activities include biting you and fucking your shit up. /b/tards reading the thread all collectively remembered that they too have had their share of Spiderbro moments. They shared their respective stories about the spread of Spiderbro’s kindness. When you finally realize your life is incredibly shitty, remember, Spiderbro is watching.

	“	I love you… Spiderbro.	„

Alternative Story

Misunderstood Spiderbro

Unfortunately, due to the douchebag nature of almost all Over 9000 species of spider, Spiderbro has been mistaken for one of them. Instead of greeting Spiderbro with a brofist some have greeted him with a textbook. Many Spiderbro have fallen this way, never reaching full potential. If you ever encounter a spider make sure you make sure it is a bro before squashing its shit.

Don't let this happen to a fellow bro.

More Spiderbro

Spiderbro prevents internal bleeding

I was typing an essay all night. Spiderbro wants to play, but I tell him to fuck off because I was tired and stressed. It took me 15 hours, but I got it finished. Then I realized I forgot to press send and submit my paper. My degree could be over just like that. But then Spiderbro looks to see what I was doing and presses send. Thanks, Spiderbro.

I was walking down an ally way one night when some thugs attempt to mug me. Spiderbro crawls on to the thug's face and bites him. He was allergic to spider bites. Thanks, Spiderbro.

There was a gas leak in my house that I didn't know about. It could have killed me. But Spiderbro crawled into the pipe and covered the hole with his web. I found out hours later and then shut off the gas. He was dead... I'll never forget you, Spiderbro.

I was fapping one night when my mom knocked on the door. My mom was about to come in. Then Spiderbro crawls under the door and scares her off. Thanks, Spiderbro.

I was about to board my plane to New York on September 11th, 2001 when I realized my ticket was gone. Only a web was left in its place. God damnit Spiderbro! I was then forced to go home. Later, I saw the news, and I couldn't believe it. Thanks, Spiderbro.

	“	Thanks, Spiderbro.	„