Damnportlanders

Damnportlanders is a community on LiveJournal that began at least 100 years ago. It is an extremely populated community with over 9000 members.

Beginnings

After the mediacrat drama, Portland died. It was a sad day for Seattle’s little bitch as where would the fags and emo whores protest the hateful George Bush and rain? DamnPortlanders was born. It’s unknown if the creator (Gelasia) knew about teh funny of the community name or not. Get it? DamnPortlander? The sorry excuses for human beings on this community refer to themselves as “DPers” therefore giving credit to the whole Double Penetration thing. A lot of people find this funny. Most people don’t care.

Brad Fitz, himself, stops by DP, but only to show off how, even though he’s super rich, he still wants people to buy him alcohol.

The Jameth Effect

A simple childrens icon that the nazis of Portland felt was too cute and, thus, offensive to their semen stained eyes.

Jameth came to DP one day. Being the super fag that he is, it was only natural that he wanted to wade, cock deep, into the ass of LiveJournal. His first post, being a seasoned dramacrat, netted 55 comments when he asked where to get Pho. What the fuck? Food gets these guys going. This is what DPers consider serious business. His harlequin ichthyosis icon started a shit storm that is still raging.

Portland nearly burned to the ground after the furries protested and DamnPortlanders had a near riot that resulted in A+ drama when the mods decided that it was NSFW. Rules were added by the dictator Gelasia. She shit her pants and then promptly banned users for protesting. Damnportlanders then made multiple posts about the same damn subject. OMG let’s censor icons! No wai! That’s censorship! I mean, it has to be censorship. The word censor is IN “censorship.” The collective group then cried and exploded in a ball of fire.

The bannings of 2006

Damnportlanders has, historically, sided with the fuck stick nazis of LJ_Abuse with users who used icons that were vague and offensive, and then were to be banned. Good thing that the snark community (funny, right?) existed, otherwise the attention whores would have no one to complain to about their banning. Remember that the internet is serious business. The whores took to the message boards and cried forever about being banned from their community. A new community was created as a result, but it has failed to capture the lulz associated with the original.

Ban - http://community.livejournal.com/dp_snark/67311.html

Ban - http://community.livejournal.com/dp_snark/67479.html

Ban - http://community.livejournal.com/dp_snark/67787.html

Christian Values

Gelasia, one of two current mods, is a god fearing Christian psycho who believes that there should be freedom of speech and maximum expression, but only if that doesn’t involve her religion. Her womanly flow happens every day and the excess of blood pouring from her vagina makes her feel like bloody mary, only without the virginal birth to Jesus thing. She runs DP like Jesus ran the Jews. Full of hate and bannination at the drop of a hat. She also hates if people disagree with her or talk to her. When Jameth ruined everything with his icon, all offensive icons were banned. However, apparently cock sucking is still good for the kids.

How to Piss Off DamnPortlanders

CosmicJohn (Gay, amirite?) is a big shot on DP. He’s more annoying than elgorgo, but not as famous. He’s not even e-famous. Less than nothing. That’s cosmic and, being the ass rapingly bad community that it is, gelasia decided to make him a mod. Oh the humanity!

CosmicJohn tried to leach a video file from Jameth and be cool. Well, it failed and what happened next was like Nixon. The impeachment of 2006.

Back in the community of teh suck, he decided to delete some comments from an emo whore after he threatened suicide. The fall out was immediate … people wanted to revolt and overthrow the new mod.

Cosmic laid low for a while after the great suicide debate of 2006. Being the demon spawn of satan and jameth, though, he didn’t believe in Jesus. He also refused to be saved and wrote about that shit in his LJ. Posting whore, much? Right. He made a post about some movie with that guy who had AIDS and sued his lawyer friend and gelasia freaked the fuck out.