Epic Battle

Once upon a time children, there was a land known as "Ye Olde EDland" and all was good, but problem were arising speedily. The queen in charge was a greedy Jew, her name was Queen Sherrod I, and wanted more taxes; The peasants failing to pay their large bandwidth consuming taxes refused to pay them. One day, the queen was in such a fit about not having enough money to buy new dildos and petty items, that she sold the whole kingdom to a tribe of greedy Jewish traders.

The Jewish traders too, wanted more money to spend on worthless shit, like time cubes and small planets. They liquidated all assets in the village for over 9000 Jew Golds; and started anew. The old villagers made a perilous voyage across the world to a new land, taking as much of their possessions with them as they could save from the evil traders.

When they reached the new land, they split up in to several colonies, three large ones taking the lead, New EDLand, Lurkington, and The City Of Erratica. The brave settlers began to rapidly grow in numbers, and heard news of the awful industrialization and aristocracy going on their homeland.

Soon after coming together, New EDLand, was nearly attacked by the new troops of the the evil Queen Sherrod, who claimed that the new colony was hers, and had always been. A brave young night Sir Meep III emerged from the battlefields a brave young diplomat. He was soon added to the elite committee, the Opians, placed there to oversee operation of the new democratica society.

This young Knight was quick to meet with a newcoming strategist to the colony, Sir Edward II, they first met at Chatty's IRC Tavern and formulated a document which is quoted as follows

" My dear brethren, blood shall be spilt in this dangerous war, but on both sides for the good of one, the triumphing side, and we shall be them! A majority of fighting may be accomplished by feeding enchanted meat to the young, renegade peasants, who, shall not realizing, then be under control of our highest magi, who shall guide their wrath, instead of against us, unkowingly towards the opposing kingdom of Sherrod. "

However, it was soon projected that the Jew traders of Ye Olde EDland would join forces with the masses of Cheezland to fight for, and reclaim, there lost assets, the colonies. So, the colonies began to develop advanced weaponry, resulting in a weapon built for use by the magi. It was cast of solid gold, with a platinum core; the epic new weapon would be named the Hive-based drone operator, which employed such complex technologies, that not even the greatest thinkers could fathom how it functioned. The strategist, Sir Edward issued a new amendment to his document.

" But still, the most of us shall be in the line of combat. their rag tag army of commonfolk is still possibly far greater than our forces, but our superior firepower and organization shall triumph over the inferior peasants. And upon completion of the war, all traces of militarization shall be erased, as to disenchant our mind warriors. And upon our victory we, comrades, shall walk triumphantly through the battlefield of our fallen brethren and enemies to declare a new world organization, free of the Queen Sherrod, and her accessories. And our new government shall be strong and prosperous; and alas, we shall sing our anthem amongst the weeping of the enemy, them having succumbed to our powerful forces. And We Shall Be Triumphant "

And so ends the story, the battle having not yet been executed, and Edwards proclamation lying dormant amongst other books. But the enemy is slowly approaching on the horizon, strategically, waiting to attack us, and to make haste in our capture.