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Guilty Gear

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Guilty Gear is a fighting game franchise developed first by the company Arc System Works, whose characters have been stolen by GG's younger and jealous cousin, BlazBlue. Guilty Gear focuses on dudes dressed like chicks in leather, big "swords", flashy and pointless attacks and something that BlazBlue also copied: varying character play styles. It also should be noted that everyone is gay for a particular character named Bridget, who is dressed like a skanky nun because of some paranoia superstition, and uses a yo-yo for self-bondage and hit people in the face with. Did I mention it transforms into Pedobear?

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Guilty Gear: The Missing Link

Officially the first game in the franchise, this fucked up fighter first showed up on the PS one. It had ten starting characters and three to four unlockable ones. The plot takes place in the year 2172 when the Gears declared war against the human race (iRobot, anyone), and go on rampages killing people. As it turns out later in the series, the Gears were controlled by That Man, who never reveals his identity. Not only that, but the commander of the gears is Justice, a hermaphrodite robot, who is female, but has a giant blue cock just...out there...Yeah...Keep reading and try not to get your brain fried. So, in order to fight Justice, the Sacred Order of Holy Knights decides to host a death match (does this make any sense) to find out who can beat Justice. In the story, Sol Badguy wins and destroys Justice only to find out that the bitch is PREGNANT WITH SOL BADGUY'S BABY!! Guess he didn't want to have to pay child support, eh?

The character variety was stunning, and instantly made the game THE BEST (according to fans). However, we all know it to be a butthurt copypasta version of Street Fighter with better graphics, and street fighter style input, and weird ass character designs.

The first set of characters included but were not limited to:

  • Sol Badguy; a flaming badass who gets pissed off at everything and needs anger management courses. He is officially the most badass character in the whole series.

Period.

  • Ky Kiske; a girly-boy, androgynous hero type who is gay for Sol Badguy constantly trying to get Sol in bed with him. His combos suck.
  • Millia Rage; a skanky Russian chick who wears very little to cover up her legs and butt, and vagina. She can fight with her hair and has a crush on Zato-1.
  • May; a loli-type character who is every pedo-phile's wet dream. She dresses like a pirate and his people with her anchor.
  • Zato-1; a dark character who dresses all emo because he is emo. He can control darkness.
  • Potemkin; a large, slow character (Tager), who wears a neck brace for bondage purposes. His gauntlets have guns in them. Take that, Tager!
  • Chipp Zanuff; a ninja who is Naruto's biggest idol. Chipp is a TRUE ninja; he can turn invisible, is extremely fast and has brutally hard to block and or dodge moves.
  • Dr. Baldhead; a crazy doctor who rips people to shreds for pure enjoyment. He is a true badass and makes Faust from Shaman King look like a pussy.
  • Axl-Low; a bandana wearing perverted character who uses sickles attached to a chain for bondage and masochism purposes. He uses fire, too, just for extra pain.
  • Kliff Undersn; a steak-knife wielding old guy who floats. He uses his giant knife to kill gears. Nuff' said.
  • Testament; the girly man wearing leather, he is the epitomy of faggotry, as he wields a giant scythe he shoves up his butt.
  • Baiken; a mary-sue type samurai bitch who is easily pissed off, uses a chain arm and a sword, as well as tears you to shreads if you say anything about bimbos.
  • Justice; a rebel, commander type Gear who declared war on humanity. Rumor has it she has a daughter that GG nerds have fapgasms to. She's also banned from

tournaments because of the butt-hurt fantards.