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Frank the Goat

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Frank the Goat is LiveJournal's trusty mascot. He greets LiveJournal users on the front page of LJ, either by chewing on something, holding a sign, celebrating a holiday, or pissing all over the furniture.

Frank, in a file photo from 2002, stands atop a Washington mountain and bays at the moon.

A History

 
Rule 34

Frank was born to Francine the Goat and Franz in France sometime in the 1990s. After Francine died, Franz left Frank in a ditch and went missing. Miraculously, Frank survived, and was picked up by a band of roving gypsies. This is where it all went downhill.

The gypsies did all sorts of horrible things, from putting oatmeal in the ass of the goat to forcing him to partake in homosexual acts involving mediacrat and pirat ponton. Frank began taking drugs, and, before long, was thrown onto the streets of Amsterdam and forced to turn tricks for tin cans and cabbage.

Luckily for him, Brad Fitzpatrick was visiting Europe around that time. After eating a batch of marijuana brownies, he had the munchies and thought "hey, this goat would make a great meal." Frank, however, would have none of that, and somehow convinced Brad to take him back to Seattle with him. It is unknown what took place.

Today, Frank lives happily in a pen at Six Apart headquarters. He's allegedly rich and beautiful for a goat.

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