Radium

Radium (Powerword: Kenneth J. Stumpf) was/is the webmaster for Something Awful at least 100 years ago. He liked to implement special forum features for FYAD to enjoy, such as Katrina and PHP. A completely self-taught programmer, it's his job to apply half assed jury-rigged patches on an 8 year old version of vBulletin running on decade-old equipment to keep SA running instead of just paying vBulletin the three-hundred bucks to get a new copy. He was "fired" for RL self-hax, namely, downing the forums in an ill-conceived, butthurt-motivated attempt to strike at SASS that ended in fail and then lying about the reasons for the downtime to his goon customers and boss.

Radium's trademark of epic failure resulting in mass database leak

Radium was quite possibly the most incompetent sysadmin ever, as demonstrated by frequent downtime and chimpouts whenever it was brought to light. If Lowtax weren't so buzzed on oxy all the time, he'd probably have noticed and pretended to fire him much sooner. Because he is the cheapest coder Lowtax knows, he remains an admin at SA as GENERIC ADMINISTRATOR to the detriment of everyone else.

kjs500

After the Great Hack Attack, Lowtax and Radium rapidly tried to shift blame of the password leak onto the goon customers. It was their fault that the passwords were in the hands of HUAI and SASS because goons were using insecure passwords and using them on third-party warez sites, and the SA Admins weren't going to be held responsible for it. In the name of great justice, SASS poster FanglyMan on a whim decided to try "GENERIC ADMINISTRATOR"'s hilariously insecure SA password ( kenneth j stumpf 500) on a credit rating forum to confirm if it was him. It worked. For the lulz, SASS immediently started punching "kjs500" in everything they could possibly find. What they found:

• Radium is paid $42k a year for his amateur hackwork on SA.
• Complete access to Radium's ISP management account.
• Complete access to Radium's PayPal account.
• Complete access to Radium's eBay account.
• Radium's tropical fish account.

Rather then use all this to utterly destroy Radium's life, SASS magnanimously decided not to destroy Stumpf's life, stopping at just his reputation. Radium eventually had to come clean on the forums, tell Lowtax to shut the fuck up about third-party bullshit and explain that yeah, someone managed to crack SA's database. Despite all of the above, he is still responsible for the security of tens of thousands of goons' credit card numbers. Lowtax responded by having an emotional meltdown on the forums and handing the keys to Fragmaster, confirming ultimate SASS victory.

Titan

Back in the year 2000, when the Something Awful Forums were migrated to the vBulletin forum software, [Lowtax decided that no forum software package available at the time had the power to handle SA's traffic. As a result, he commissioned radium to write a new piece of software from the ground up with the intention of retiring vBulletin and moving to the new package (which was to be named Titan). Even now, 8 years later, Titan is still officially in development.

Titan has become a running joke at SASS because it highlights what a braggart radium really was, despite his general inability to do anything properly and lack of following through on his promises.