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Mike Buchan
Ongoing Operation "Mike Buchan"
One of those rare occasions where /b/ is someones personal army, Mike Buchan is still in the starting stages of being raped and impregnated.
The thread in which the raid was requested was 404'd because of mod faggotry, the thread was then restarted by a different OP who pasta'd the initial post and reposted it. This second was also 404'd eventually, but not before clever Anons relayed their chat to a super-secret IRC channel, were the further planning took place and lulz were shared.
The 1st OP went by the name of "op" The second went by "Anonymous" and had a tripcode of "!!xvGrDZXeblF"
The original message:
Ok /b/. I'm going to level with you here, this is a personal army request, but not one without its rewards, feel free to sage or just ignore this thread, w.e, I just wanted to at least try. This guy has fucked up the last few months of my life, firstly he screwed things over with myself and my gf, got all chummy with her, started flirting with her, of course i was an idiot and ignored it. somehow he manged to find out i was a /b/tard, and showed a collection of /b/'s "best" to her, this finished it for us, told me i was sick and never wanted to see me again, then took him a week to get her for himself. as if this wasnt enough he got my sister's number from my ex's phone (they were pals) and is now working on her, she wont look at me since she saw /b/ for herself. So i'm gonna give you his number do with it what you will, call it for kicks if you want, up to you. for those anons who feel like helping a /b/rother out, im gonna post some of the screencaps and pics from some camwhores ive chatted to.
End of original message.
Sympathy ran throughout /b/ and somehow people actually rallied in an attempt to make a difference; so far, nothing interesting has happened except for unfriendly comments posted in the aforementioned anti-social networking sites; Anonymous messaged abuse to him behind blank accounts and many attached pictures, such as GOATSE, to their messages. Pizza was ordered, phone-calls were had, and 80.001 rolls of tape have been ordered (now known as Rick Taped, courtesy of Anon). A barrage of Text Messages were also sent, likely enough to Crash his phone. Some threatening, some simply spam. One anon claimed to have sent 250 reading "So I herd you liek mudkipz?". During the raid, anons first choice of free text messaging - http://cbfsms.com/ went down due to high traffic.
Many a lulz was had.
At 9 PM a young texasfag called the local police in Wales. "Hello, yes um, there is some suspicious activity happening at my neighbour's. I can hear cries. As if people are fighting." yadadadada "An immediate officer will be dispatched to the residence." /end of call
The young texasfag thought it was all done. But somehow the policefag called back about 15 minutes later. Scared, the texasfag didn't answer. But alas, due to peer pressure from fellow anonymous', the texasfag did call back.
"Hello I'm returning a call" "Sir, there was no suspicious activity going on. The owners of the home were fast asleep. If I may ask, why are you calling from an american number?" At this point the texasfag was trembling with fear and shat himself. "Oh sorry, it's my old phone. I still haven't gotten my line installed. New home. Hehehehehe." "Oh, well" "Wow you policemen are way better than the american ones. So fast to respond. This is why I love the UK" "Hehehe well, yes. Sir if you would like to file any other complaints against the home owner feel free to contact the Neighborhood Commitee." "Oh okay, thanks. I love the UK." /END OF CALL
In the end, this entire controversy just involves one very determined, yet pathetic anon and some britfag that stole his girlfriend and is banging his sister, inducing the rage of a very sad and lonely OP. Even most anons would shy away from admitting that such shame and failure had befallen them irl but this anon embraced it and rallied anon to support him. In a strange and unlikely twist of fate many otherwise uncaring anon answered his pitiful call.
Some incredibly coherent and profound writing from Mike's bebo page:
ya fooookin belend! a wise man once told me(kif) mike support man u n cardif city in 2 american football, i love da philly egals. dun trainin as a studio engineer (recording bands etc) training as a chef now n love music, music n music, and sport anyfin thats makes u ake or sweat. in 2 karate big time! slowly startin 2 take ova my life. LOST PROPHETS FUCKING RULE!!!
(Note that Mike only spelled 18 words incorrectly in the preceding paragraph. He even managed to spell 'man' correctly TWICE.)
Mike Vs. Anon
Hey Faggots,
My name is Mike, and I hate every single one of you. So yeah, I'm a /b/tard and met this other /b/ tard with a hot ass gf. I've liked her for a while so I started hangin out with her and we became fast friends. Her bf, the fucking moron (seriously /b/, you guys would be ashamed if you met him), says NOTHING to me about this, even though he KNOWS I'm blatantly ignoring their relationship. Found out for sure he was a /b/tard cause of his retarded mannerisms, spouting memes in public and he'd be the only one laughing about them, then checked his computer one day when we were all hanging around for confirmation.
I told his gf that he had tried to 'recruit' me, showed her a couple threads, and she fucking RAGED. She thinks all of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. She thinks that /b/ is everything bad in the world. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook. Now I'm nutting on her face on an almost daily basis (Shit was SO cash). His sister is pretty fuckin hot too, so I'm workin on her.
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Anon contributes artistically to the raid. -
Mike now has more comments than all his friends!
