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Nick Cave

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Whatnot at 12:14, 28 December 2011. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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Nick Cave is an Australian aboriginal name which means Roger Waters in a very posh British pronunciation. Nick suffers from a very rare form of disease which makes him unable to handle simple tasks. Fortunately Nick is not a quitter; He decided to take advantage of his disease to summon all the diseased people from all around the world to cheer him up and give him names such as "pompous" and "god". Nick Cave lives in a world where he goes to collect rainbow dust for his speaking bunny. Whom drives car to pick human hookers from down the street so he can forget he is cheating on his wife.

Music career

After a very unsuccessful period being a closet monster he decided to become a public face. Nowadays Nick playing a critical role in the music culture due to the fact that he is writing very critically about the shape of vaginal and Brazilian prostitutes.

   
 
Why we don't have witch burning ceremonials? We indeed lost values...
 

 
 

—Nick cave on feminism

He later on decided to take the piss on autistic kids:

   
 
I'm gonna call it bad seeds, they are all messed up in the last chromosome.
 

 
 

—Nick cave on biology

Nick and life hobbies

Nick has a very unique style in which he emphasizes every word with a bittern irony so no one would realize that Heroin would make your tongue so hard, it would be cracked in every three words. He also is a fan of Avril Lavign. He is so into her that he wrote a book about her pants. By this logic whoever can write a whole book by just looking at someone's pants is a genius and we must support him by buying his Audio-books and not torreting it.

Sample

It wouldn't be out of kindness to put a few quotes of him in order to attract the reader's mind toward his genuine unique work

   
 
I love rock-n-roll. I think it's an exciting art form.
 

 
 

—Nick cave on Acid

   
 
I think there's a certain numbness in modern society, that accepts certain kinds of violence, but represses other kinds of violence.
 

 
 

—Nick cave, trying to make sense

   
 
Ass saw an angel.
 

 
 

—Nick Cave on type machine

   
 
JESUS CHRIST, THERE IS NO GOD...
 

 
 

—Nick cave on reporter

   
 
River?!... Is that your name, Good thing you haven't born in a toilet!
 

 
 

—Nick cave tried to be funny

See also