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Pullip
Pullips are dolls made by a perverted company in Japan or Korea or some place like, that also manufactures plush breasts children's toys. They have melon heads and scrawny, undersized bodies. Each doll is supposed to have a different 'persona', including multiple dolls whose personas are Furries, coming complete with fursuits for teh yiffing
Fans
The people who spend their hard-earned money on these cheap pieces of plastic fall into the following categories:
- People who can't afford Dollfies (but usually end up spending more money on Pullips anyway)
- Advanced-Stage My Little Pony collectors
- Wapanese attracted by Rozen Maiden and Evangelion versions that are SOOOO KAWAII DESU!
- Developmentally disabled females who pretend their dolls are real call them 'Mommy'
- Furries
- Lolitas (the fat adult kind, not the jailbait kind)
- Blythe fans, who are obviously already on drugs so good that freaky big-headed dolls look normal to them.
Connoisseurs of fandom drama might notice that all of the above groups rate well above average on the batshit crazy meter. The Pullip fandom didn't need to wait around for the crazies to ruin it, they were there from the beginning and mostly hang out at the 
Coolpulliptable friends-only livejournal group. Yes, it's really called that. You can't make this shit up!
This prize-winning bunch of people congregate at agenda-heavy forums run by people who sell Pullips like Pullip Style, moderated heavily by 16 year old girls.
Drama
Pullips were made popular through the internet, and there has been much drama since they first showed up last Thursday. Unfortunately, the original LiveJournal groups and forums were all deleted, and the current largest forum, Pullip Style (Here be Idiots), is quick to lock threads and delete lulzy comments, esp. ones that out their mods as the immature trolls they are, so if you see the drama, be quick with the screencaps lest you lose it forever.
Approved topics of conversation are as follows:
- How much you love pullips
- How mean people are who make fun of you for liking pullips
- Where your pullip funds come from
- How your husband/friends/parents are on your case about buying $100+ a pop dolls even though you're unemployed/can't afford clothing for your children/$1000+ in debt/haven't eaten in 3 days
- The $500 doll your daddy is buying you for getting 2 Bs on your report card!
You can't talk about:
- Anything that might upset anyone else, including such mild things as you not liking a particular doll. Because it will make people who do like it feel bad, regardless of whether or not it actually makes anyone feel bad.
- Suggest that someone 'popular' who hasn't sent the doll you paid for 3 months ago might be in the wrong, or that anything else they did that was obviously wrong/illegal might possibly have not been nice. Because popular people are NEVER scammers!
‘Store Loyalty’ introduced gang-like warfare to the pullip community, where different collectors will hate each other because of where they click ‘buy’ online. Mostly this results in different store-sponsored forums encouraging badmouthing other stores and their communities, but occasionally there is hilarity such as one store accusing the other store of copying their forums (I.E. Their doll profile forum is a blatant rip off of our profile section) or contests (I.E. They can’t have photo contest based off of a TV reality show because WE ripped it of first!), though this has declined with the closing and deletion of Pullip Parade Store & Forums. Another frequent battleground is the Pullip wikipedia page, where different stores or their customers go and insert links to their stores under deceiving link names like ‘pullip gallery’ and references to themselves in the main article.
Customizing
One of the finest sources for pullip drama is customizing. It is a sign of superiority to have a doll unlike anyone else's. Therefore, anyone who rips the hair off of their doll and slaps on a mass-produced hairdo bought off of ebay will tear a new asshole into anyone else who buys that wig and puts it on their doll for copying them.
One of the most entertaining 'copy' dramas involves 'Zombuki' dolls, which were copied off of alternative makeup styles shown on America's Next Top Model. These dolls feature clown-styled makeup by pbrigitte, a customizer who was unable to previously customize any dolls without selling them for a loss (probably because she couldn't paint features and her skillz end at heart shapes and circles). Because of massive marketing of these nightmare clowns, anyone who makes a doll with non-traditional makeup is accused of OMGZCOPYING!!1!, despite the delicious irony that the original idea was a rip-off from a TV show. Should you dare to suggest $500 is a bit much for a $90 doll that someone has just painted a load of stars and triangles on and given stupid hair, pbrigitte's fans will tear you down, screaming that she's allowed to charge whatever she likes for her art.
For those who actually put effort into their customs, there is often epic fail (see below), which the owners will show off proudly with equally poor out-of-focus blurry photos, which still don't manage to cover up the fail!
Due to some bizarro reality, or maybe just teenaged jealousy, mediocre and poorly done dolls will get 2+x the "OMG PRETTY" comments than the ones that don't make your eyes bleed.
PUDDLE
WTF is PUDDLE, you might ask? PUDDLE is the first North-American Pullip convention. It's really called PUDDLE. One might think
that they would have come up with a less incontinence inspiring name for themselves, but PUDDLE it is. Maybe the amount of age-regressed wannabe pedobear bait has something to do with it.
How to troll them
Almost anything, really. Sane people in pullip communities are like boy-scouts lost at NAMBLA conventions, but here's some pointers for instant lulz:
- Make a post about how you got Noir/Kirakisou/Alice (or any other rare doll) but you didn't like her, so you sanded off her face and want peoples' opinions on what to do with her. Bonus points if you find a really massacred picture like the ones at right and say that you 'fixed' your (rare doll's name here) isn't she PRETTY? Misspell often for authenticity.
- Give an honest opinion about their custom.
- Suggest that there are things in life more important than dolls, or agree with their mean parents/friends/husband who is oppressing their constitutional right to pursue dolls at the cost of family/friends/education/credit score.
- Spell the doll Felato as Fellatio. Insist that that is the proper spelling and the name on the box is just poor Engrish on the part of the Japanese manufacturer. Cite ‘Serpant’ and ‘Horison’ as examples of other dolls with misspelled English names.
- Save this article, and everytime a butthurt pullip collector takes it down, just repaste it.
Gallery of Fail
-
ISN'T SHE PRETTY?!!1! -
I spent 5 hours on her! -
Um... What? -
I'm meeelllting!
-
Meeellting! -
(contagious) -
i maek gud customz
-
This isn't out of focus. It's just that bad. -
This is bad, but looks good in comparison to the others! -
EAT YOUR SOUL -
HURRRRRR -
Even the customizers sometimes realise how creepy their art looks sometimes. -
DURRRRRRRR -
Once again raising the bar for FUCKING CREEPY
See Also
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Pullip is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |
