Richard Poplawski

Richard Poplawski is a 23-year-old living testament to how stupid Hal Turner's listeners really are.

Poplawski, before his cavity search via floor lamp

The Background

Discharged from the Marines a few years prior for "throwing a lunch tray at a drill Sargent", Richard Poplawski did what all fat, dishonorably discharged kids did: went back to his mother's basement. While he was away though, Mom bought a dog and an internet connection. Instead of exercising with the dog and making his life better, Richard took the easy way out -- he lurked the internet. A popular poster to Stormfront.org, Richard feared that once the Obama administration would appeal the Second Amendment and all his precious guns would be taken away. In a moment of clarity, Richard discovered that once a mob broke out, the police wouldn't be able to protect him or his belongings; and he began to stockpile ammunition and weapons, along with body armor.

The dog, the rug, the mom and the cops

On the morning of Saturday, April 4th, 2009; Poplawski's mother woke him regarding her dog urinating on the rug. An argument ensued, and Ms. Poplawski called the Pittsburgh Police to have her son removed. At 0701, Officers Scuillo and Mayhle arrived on scene, unbeknown to them that Richard was lying in wait, bulletproof vest-covered, just inside the home. Officer Scuillo entered first, and was immediately shot in the head. Ms. Poplawski ran to the basement stairs, screaming "OH GOD, WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Officer Mayhle radioed for backup, fired defensive shots and then entered the doorway in an attempt to cover his fallen partner, and he too received a fatal gunshot to the head.

Detective Kelly, a veteran to the force was on his way home, having completed his shift; when he heard the call. What he didn't know was that Richard has quite the arsenal - pistols, SMGs and an AK-47, with enough ammunition to stop a medium sized private army in it's tracks. When he arrived on scene, Kelly was fired on, taking a shot to the chest. Officer Malloway arrived on scene moments later and in an attempt to pull Kelly to safety, was shot in the hand. He retreated behind the SUV, firing a few suppressive shots into the home.

Four hours later

With the entire city of Pittsburgh's police, along with the Allegheny County Police and two FBI units surrounding the home, Richard did the honorable thing -- fight like a man. Firing from a bedroom window, Poplawski laid down several hundred oppressive shells in an attempt to keep medical services from reaching Kelly. Most were wasted, ending up in the side of a SWAT van along with various patrol cars. County snipers shot Poplawski in the leg, leading to a four-hour hide-and-seek game with Poplawski and the snipers. While he was playing peek-a-boo, Officer Jones tried to enter through the rear of the home, and in the course of climbing over a fence it collapsed, breaking Jones' leg, bringing the body count to 3 and injuries to 3 counting Poplawski.

The Man, the shooter, the cop killer

Richard was described by many neighbors as disturbed, being "sketchy" after losing his job at a glass plant (LOL GLASS SORTER). His friends noted he was worried about Obama taking away his rights, the right to bear arms in specific. They said he was an avid listener of Hal Turner, and was "heartbroken" when it went off-air, leading some to believe he was merely an Anonymous raidfag, though some argue he was merely a nazi. During the course of the stand-off, Richard made a phone call to a close friend, saying "Eddie, I am going to die today. ... Tell your family I love them and I love you."; leading some to believe that this was a case of gay lust gone wrong, in a sort of Brokeback Mountain-style story. Whatever the case, Ricky won't be seeing much of the internet, or Hal Turner anytime soon - he's facing 3 counts of felony homicide, multiple counts of assault on a police officer and attempted murder. What a shame, he didn't even try for the high score.

The above is a commentary, and all views expressed are those of Encyclopedia Dramatica.