- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Mars
Equality
Scientists have concluded after a lot of research that all Martians have green skin, there is a lot of debate if they understand the concept of being racist. However, careful analysis of recent invasions suggest that Martians may favor the negroid over caucasoids for unknown reasons. Amongst themselves, it is possible discrimination occurs based on other factors, such as the massiveness of one's cranium.
It has been documented there are more transvestite Martians on the battlefield than females. This suggest that homosexuality is tolerated or possibly embraced on Mars, and that females normally stay at home and have babies, proving that Martians are indeed more advanced than Earthlings that allow their females run around and cause problems.
Invasion
For nearly a billion years, the Martians were an environmentally friendly race that could easily put Green Peace to shame. That all changed when an enterprising Martian opened up a small business and soon idea of a free market and capitalism spread, within 75 years all natural resources were depleted. In desperation, the Martians set their sights on Earth, a planet who's indigenous population was technologically inferior. Some debated the morality of an invasion, but the idea of divine destiny prevailed soon thousands of shiny flying saucers were headed to Earth. Unfortunately for the little green men, their success at interplanetary invasions proved worse than France's at winning wars.
Notable Martians on ED
After nearly a decade of bloodshed between Wikipedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica, both sides came to the negotiation table.
Jimbo Wales, in exchange for gay porn, agreed to visit Encyclopedia Dramatica and contribute. Seeing an opportunity to sabotage the ceasefire, J'onzz attempted to assassinate Wikipedia's leader. The green menace was charged with treason for his crimes, but during the trial, the more important question became, "Why the fuck are we negotiating with a bunch of Jews from Wikipedia?" While the charges were never officially dropped and no verdict was delivered, everyone forgot about the trail as the war again Wikipedia resumed. These days, the dastardly Martian spy waits patiently for the next opportunity to undermine those pesky Earthlings.
See also
The Sun | Mercury | Venus | Earth | The Moon | Mars | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus | Neptune | Pluto | Space | Nibiru |