Dylan & Cole Sprouse

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Dylan and Cole Sprouse are identical clones, former Disneyfags, and now useless nobodies. This article is more about Dylan though since his nudes were recently leaked, making him the more relevant of the two.

The pre-nude days

The two found early fame by taking turns playing the cute but annoying kid adopted by Adam Sandler on the movie Big Daddy, where they peed the bed, peed on buildings, peed on Adam Sandler, and made multiple demands to hear the KANE-GUH-WOOOO SONNNNNG.

While many kids and normal adults found the kid to be cute, so did many, many pedos. Luckily for the boys, Pedobear had not been born yet, as this movie came out in 1999 and his e-birth didn't occur until 2003.

Disneyfag era

Now older but still not legal, the clones got their own TV show on Disney, infamous for raising child actors that were doomed to a future of drugs, pornography, post-sexual assault suicide, or all of the above.

They had two shows, first The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, followed by the so-original sequel The Suite Life On Deck. The boys gained many pre-teen fans around this time, but they were overshadowed by their older, more mature lifelong fans that had been with them since Big Daddy.

While it's claimed that these were "their" shows, they were in fact Disney's bitches and were later banned from acting for asking for creative control. Dylan later went on to BAWWWW about it and tell a different side of the story which the e-media ran with, adding inches to his post-acting, ever-growing e-peen.

It's worth noting that even though they were still identical clay molds of each other during this time, they were very easy to tell apart in their television careers because Dylan had grown to become a young hambeast, most likely a result of Disney fattening him up to appeal to chubby-chasing pedos.

Nice career you've got there.... annnnnnd it's gone

After the plug was pulled and the Suite Life was no longer sweet, the two faded into obscurity, survived only in lifelong fan blog form.

Dylan failed at selling his art online, the other one that isn't Dylan attempted to stay relevant by making a blog to troll his own fans, but nobody cared. Everyone assumed that, being former Disneyfags, they were either on drugs or prostituting on the streets of New York, or both.

Pedo prayers get answered

Just when the light of the spotlight had almost completely dimmed out, a miracle happened. A scathing ex-girlfriend/publicity stunt resulted in the leaking of Dylan's 21-year-old package on the internets. This was also followed by an accusation that Dill Pickle was currently working as a waiter at a restaurant because he had spent all his acting money on drugs and alcohol.

Not allowing his salty ex to win/himself to miss out on the chance of new relevance, Dill took to the king of media, Howard Stern TMZ, to address the ludicrous broke bitch accusations and claim proud ownership of his tiny penis. Again being foreshadowed by his older clone, Cole attempted to tweet jokes about the size of his brother's junk instead of releasing nudes of his own.

Oh noes, not again

Happy that he was not all over the e-news again, Dill saw a sharp increase in Twitter and tumblr followers, and all his Instagram comments had turned into "NUDES NOODS N00DZ." Then a second batch of nudes were leaked, showing Dill with fresh man juice all over his tummy. This time he refused to claim ownership and accused of them being shooped, when it's fucking obvious they are of the same guy in the same bathroom from which he claimed previous ownership of.

Their future

With no hint of a future career in sight, the only way the clones can stay relevant at this point is to post more nudes or go the full mile and make porn, since their pre-teen fans aren't old enough or rich enough to buy it like their mature fans are, and their loyal pedo fanbase has been with them since the Big Daddy days.

Links

• Dill's twatter
• The other one's twatter
• Dill's tumblr
• Mirror of Cole's "social experiment" tumblr where he attempted to pass himself off as the intellectually superior clone
• Dill's photo-whoring
• Cole's second failed social experiment, this time on Instagram
• Failed and abandoned art page
• Perez Hilton cums in his pants over Dill's little pickle