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User:Negrophile

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Typical Negrophile.

A Negrophile is a person who studies negro culture and negroes in general.

The term is often used in particular for people in the United States especially in New England, New York, and elsewhere along the northern East Coast of the United States who ostensibly explore the business, political, or social practices of negroid models.

Negrophiles commonly are found in the middle to upper class predominantly white neighborhoods. Alternatively, the negro itself is oft found deep within the inner city or hidden around plantations in the Southern United States. It has been theorized that there exists an entire continent dedicated to negro society, but the possibility of the negroid species becoming capable of running a nation-state is unsupported by science.

Negrophiles have made major breakthroughs in the study of Ape-English, the negro language. It largely consists of phonetic spelling of words, like color as 'cola,' flavor as 'flava,' realize as 'realeyes,' and so on. Other colloquialisms are more difficult to translate, such as 'bitches and hoes' and 'nigga.'

In some extreme cases, Negrophiles may represent the wish of an individual to be Black. However, these "otherkin" are ostracized from the greater scientific body.

Studies

 
Negroes are known to subsist on a diet of up to 90% crack cocaine, with a remainder of chicken, watermelon, and homeless people.

Having become inspired by the brutality and near human-like intelligence of the negro species, negrophiles have began studying the elusive black man through direct observation and expirimental emulation.

Experimental observations have included:

  • Removing poorly-restrained bicycles from the driveways of neighborhood children.
  • Smoking calcified cocaine in large quanitites.
  • Subsidizing further research through collection of state welfare checks and USDA-funded food stamps.
  • Fathering numerous children out of wedlock and placing the blame on the mothers with the paraphrased negrotic saying, "You are a charlatan and are playing some sort of game with me. That child most certainly bears little resemblance to me."
  • Purchasing and dissecting numerous items from FUBU and Nike.

As of yet, years of tedious research and emulation has not allowed the negrophile to gain an understanding into the workings of the dark ape. Two potential hypotheses remain, requiring further investigation.

  • Hypothesis: The intellect of the negro is far beyond that of the human and attempting to understand it is akin to attempting to explain the very nature of God.
  • Hypothesis: The intellect of the negro is nearly non-existent and attempting to understand it is akin to explaining Shakespearean tragedy to a mongrel dog.

Further Research

 
A negro engaged in the ritualistic behavior known as rape.
 
Human women of sufficient size and insufficient net worth displaying attraction to the beast.

Recently, it has become apparent that other mythical creatures abound in the habitats of the standard negro. From flesh-eating scarabs, to amorphous HIV, to the Gaelic leprechaun fairies, the further study of the negro may one day allow us to understand some of man's most fanciful constructions.

Additionally, in depth research is currently being performed on the sexual attraction between white women and negroes. While much of the intercourse may be attributed to the negroid's affinity for rape, a number of white women have been discovered with an affinity for bestial pursuits with the near-men.

Recent archaeological digs have unearthed an ancient Greek Formula, attributed to Archimedes, which may explain this:

Attaction = Mass / Net Worth

Negrologists are currently attempting to ascertain the validity of the formula.

Peculiar Specimens

 
A negro disguised as a child-molester.