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Radio

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This is about sound broadcast. For the Electromagnetic radiation, see Shit no one cares about

Radio is an antiquated medium invented in 1942 by Howard Stern✡ in order that sound, such as crappy music and blah blah blah], could be broadly disseminated. Earlier attempts using tin cans and string having proved fruitless, great advances were made once the key ingredient of technology was introduced, offering boys and girls all over the world the chance to listen to even more boring crap than they had ever thought existed. As of last Thursday, the radio currently belongs to Rush Limbaugh, NPR, and the Iranian Public Broadcasting Station.

Your typical modern radio

Music

There are two theories about radio and its propagation of shitty music.

  1. The Exclusive Theory of Radio states that the nature of music makes it impossible for any good music to pass though the electromagnetic spectrum.
  2. The Inclusive Theory of Radio states that the nature of radio makes all music to pass through it crappy.

There is a theory that states that "there is good music on the radio if you know when to listen" but it has been hard for those who hold this position to prove themselves as every time they begin their argument they receive an anonymous, savage bitchslapping. Another theory, advanced by the musical group Rush, dictates that a "spirit of radio" exists to "begin the day with a friendly voice" and to serve as "a companion" who is "unobtrusive". This spirit also "makes your morning move" and "never lingers". The Rusher theory views radio as "a timeless wavelength/bearing a gift beyond place, almost free". This theory has never been proven, as Geddy Lee is too busy breaking windows, sniffing granny panties, and molesting dogs to play science fair.

Often enough, a station will hold a monopoly on a genre just to piss you off.

Blah Blah Blah

English radio station DJs broadcasting from London to white people (lol, there's radio apartheid now in the UK) are HUGE fans of cultural appropriation. Unable to get over the vast glories of the British Empire being lost, English DJs now spend their entire time insulting, stereotyping AND exoticising other countries (even fucking Canada) and their people to an embarassing extent, making them sound highly ignorant. Even the fucking radio adverts go on about other places. This is because England is the least exotic country on earth, and to be proud of it is to be accused of supporting the UKIP.

   
“ 		 
I think it's about 10,000.
  		„
  		 

—Typical ignorant britfag woman, guessing the population of Hawaii on Virgin Radio, even though it's actually 1.3 million, who also disregards the fact that she's on the station owned by a company which is trying to destroy net neutrality OMFG!

National Public Radio

Commies created the National People's Radio in order to control the minds of America's youth. Back in the olden days, before your innertubes, we only had two stations broadcasting on the AM bands, and we only got it at night! And we thought we were the luckiest people on earth.

Believe it or not, radio was one of the first international lulz generators, with notable Epic Wins like:

Programs

National Pussy Radio has a number of important programs on the radio, including:

Allegations of Liberal Bias

Some argue that NPR is full of liberal bias. For once, they speak the truth. Broken clock syndrome at its finest.

Internets Radio

With the advent of new technology always comes old shit repackaged as new and exciting non-shit. Many stations that once broadcasted over the airwaves now also broadcast on the internets. This allows you the ability to ignore them wherever and whenever you're on the internet. Such is the case with internet radio. While good music is occasionally found on internet radio, now there is a preponderance of blah blah blah. No-one listens to the radio, and people that do are complete fags.

/b/radio

/b/radio was a previously awesome feature of /b/, made by anonymous members of /b/. It was a shoutcast server where listeners could upload what they wanted to hear. The same people who created it also created /b/TV, which in turn inspired /h/TV. /b/ is now currently MIA FUKKEN DEAD.

Touhou Radio

Created by an outcast of /a/radio when /a/radio suffered the same fate as Desu-Radio. But this time, it's limited to Touhoufaggotry. Actually has listeners/requests and a high quality stream. Has live DJing at 12AM EST. Touhou Radio

/a/radio

/a/radio is where all the f/a/gs who have nothing better to do with their nights go to listen to a shitload of animu, weeaboo and touhou music. Unlike /b/radio, this internets radio still exists, and as such, actually has a nonzero amount of listeners. There are three different streams, all running on Icecast: Aguro's Weeaboo Radio (usually up 24/7), K's Touhou Radio, and Live /a/radio. /a/radio also provides real-time track listings.

   
“ 		 
[/a/radio] will remain free: no donations, no money laundering, no mootxico
  		„
  		 

—/a/radio website

For some reason, /a/ hates the fuck out of /a/radio; as such, anyone who posts a thread about it on /a/ will receive an automatic b&hammer free of charge.

Desu-Radio

 
Classic Desu-radio banner.
 
The classic Pigdick Radio. Desuchan mods do not approve

Now dead, Originally created by a /b/tard named Spork in 2006 and run by a weeaboo called Neoific, Desu-radio was one of the first "anon radios" (along with Midnight Snacks), with a reputation of playing "random" music half the time, and being down the other half. During its brief heyday, Desu-radio could get about 50 listeners online at any given time—upwards of 150 listeners if there was a thread going in /b/—a maximum of about 300 listeners connected at different times during its Labor Day weekend special in 2006. Several events happening in the space of a few months at the end of 2006, however, led to its sharp decline, after which many of the DJs migrated to /a/radio (see above).

DJs

The following people DJ'd on Desu-radio:

  • Onion: The most popular DJ on Desu-radio, which wasn't much of an achievement. DJs for /a/radio now.
  • Walkman: Played requests almost exclusively, but also had a large and varied music collection.
  • Sarafan: Played 4chan music. Streamed the audiobooks of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy once.
  • jfs: A Limey weeaboo DJ.
  • OceanSpray: Known for playing jazz, classical and various classic rock albums during the graveyard shift when nobody and we do mean nobody listens to the radio. Also DJs occasionally for /b/radio under the name Lemon. Also DJs for the NEW (and largely unrelated) DesuRadio.
  • Aguro: An Australian weeaboo DJ (see jfs, and read it upside down). DJs for /a/radio now.
  • Exodus: Alternated weeaboo with non-weeaboo songs. (Who in sodomy described this DJ?)
  • |7|: Also a dirty Limey. Played Classical, Movie Soundtracks, Electro, House and the occasional Video game music. Had a tendency to voicewhore or/and waste bandwidth by broadcasting silence, butchered songs, or by playing video games whilst DJing, usually ending up in other DJs and the audience developing splitting headaches and screaming at him to get off air. (also infamous ironically for screaming "Desu-radio Sucks" multiple times and taunting the other DJs in his godawful Limey accent for several hours on end one afternoon whilst DJing for /b/radio seeing as he was quite possibly a Swede in disguise and also DJ'd for then-internet radio rivals /b/radio, lol run-on sentence). Despite being known as a DJ for Desu-radio, he appeared in the chatroom sporadically and got on air only around half a dozen times, of which most times were to broadcast earrape, noise and other nausea inducing sound effects. Despite the DJ attempting to piss into an ocean of piss without an audience, he remains one of the more well known DJs of Desu-radio which says a lot about its final moments of existence.

Raidchan radio

  Moar info: Raidchan.

Raidchan radio is a 24/7 online radio station jam packed with lulzcore, prank calls, CP and raidsAIDS. It's based out of Raidchan IRC, which itself is jam packed with great lulz and drama. The DJs (including the notorious Korax(> you)) play all kinds of music ranging from classic tunes, to obscure metal, to retarded video game remixes, to musical memes. They also do a fair bit of voicefagging, and offer their views, thoughts and reports on current events and anything else, including information on any noteworthy raids or shit to be careful of.

Radio 24chan

  Moar info: 24chan.

Radio 24chan is currently running 24/7 and they play anything from Foo Fighters to overly aggressive faggot music to Daft Punk. They are also always taking requests on their shitty *chan. You can listen to the failure for free at http://radio.24chan.org:8000/.

Upstart Radio

Upstart Radio is 24/7 airing DJ Mashups found across the internets. Digital Deconstructions, Pirate and Experimental Choons. Upstart Radio has been running since 2002 serving up occasional fail however, the playlist changes with time and has been expecting win any day now. You can listen for the win or fail at http://upstartradio.com/ Or if you are a pretentious fag on iTunes Radio you can find it in the Alternative genre.

Upstart Radio suffers from Mood Swings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69TBMXfwAYg

HOW TO DESTROY YOUR INTERNETS RADIO STATION

  1. Move your IRC channel from Rizon to a DEAD network like purplesurge after the irc admins offer you $20 every month for the site.
  2. Explode your stream's French server by getting Amerifags to torrent terabytes of pirated shit with it.
  3. Revive your stream's server, but keep it just fuxxored enough to create massive lag and buffer problems for non-Eurofag listeners, rendering the music virtually unlistenable.
  4. Buy a new server, located in Texas, and set icecast up on it; forget to give your lackey the root pass, being the clumsy dumbfuck you are, so no site or uploads directory could be put on it, and piss off your listeners by having your website say "no dj onair" because it was still in France, home of the French if you still don't know.
  5. Move your IRC channel back to Rizon after losing over half your regular users.
  6. Explode your stream's French server again, killing it for good and taking the site and the uploads page with it, causing the remaining DJs to quit in disgust.
  7. LOL DED

Gallery

  •  
    raidchan has australians.
  •  
    Desuchan in the house.
  •  
    Pirate Lurking.
  •  
    Truth.
  •  
    Old Desu-Radio Labor Day ad.
  •  
    Suiseiseki says /b/radio sux0rs

See also

DJs


Internets Radio

Links



Radio is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry • The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand
  
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