Justin Futrell

Did you ever wonder what would have happened if TsimFuckis had gotten half-assed plastic surgery and hit the gym once a week? Meet Justin Benjamin Futrell.

Born Nov. 30, 1993 after Sloth from The Goonies stuck it in a parrot, Justin is a fatherless bastard who enjoys such things as butt plugs, tattooing his homosexual love fetish for Batman all over his body, trolling for underage pussy, and showing off his asshole.

A chronic masturbator and pervert, Justin uploads Over 9000 images of fetish porn to his Tumblr every day, while also trying to make underage girls fall in love with him, get the n00dz, and attempt to an hero if she threatens to call the cops. Justin has had more failed suicide attempts than Tumbles the Stairdragon.

E-begging is a favorite pastime of bird-boy as well. Although he works 40 hours a week washing dishes in the ass end of Jew York City, and mommy lets his grown ass live under her snatch for free, Justin likes to spend all his money on the necessities of life; vodka, E, and butt-plugs....so when he's not begging for sum CP, he needs monies pl0x.

What separates our hero from your average B-tard though, is that despite having a face that even his own mother can't stand, he proudly parades his failed cleft lip surgery all over social media.