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Jiminycricketfan007
ATTENTION!
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Remember that Pinocchio movie by Disney made back in 1940 with the talking cricket conscience? Remember those fantasies you had about him growing to a height of six foot, becoming your husband and having a fully human offspring with him? Me neither, but apparently, this is true for JiminycricketFan007, who has dedicated her life to this pest who should have been sprayed with Raid eons ago.
Origin
Jiminycricketfan007, also known as Hollie, was an accident born and raised in Canvey Island, Essex, England. She is the self-proclaimed wife of Jiminy Cricket in any shape or form. She began drawing by merely tracing the same images of him over and over again, depicting the two of them having half-sex whilst proclaiming their love for each other, no matter what the situation. Yuck!
She eventually progressed from shitty pictures of Jiminy to ones of his first daughter, Jenny, who is a cricket. There was also a grasshopper who has fallen for Hollie, but who really gives a shit? She became pregnant with his crick-cum and they had a fully human daughter named Sylvia, who probably has sex with him, too.
She apparently loves her beloved Jim-Jim so much, so much that she even refused to visit her dying grandma in the hospital on Christmas because it meant less time with Jim Jim. Which is outright disrespectful since she cares more about a fictional character than her real family.
Not only does she produce shitty art, she produces shitty fan-fiction, too.
—JiminycricketFan007's "most popular" fanfic. |
Let us also bask in the fact that miss Hollie is a rare treat on DevianTART, for she has yet to pull the assburger's card like so many have! This shit is fo'serious!
She wouldn't be bat-shit crazy without a small handful of bat-shit insane followers and ass-kissers. This includes:
- Friday-Addams - from her comments, is growing quite tired of Hollie's BS as well
- Docbandicoot - another lolcow who spends all day drawing Snow White shitting into diapers
- marioandluigidogshb - fails at being a white knight and obsessed with the creepy puppet himself
- Lolliangel23 - Hollie's "BFF"
- TheWizardOfOzzy- major foot lover who loves the teenage Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz
Her English is also unbearable to read. Not only are her thoughts irrational and messed up, they're also hard to read. She frequently uses phrases like "take the fucking piss out of" and "I LOVE HIM WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?", and her run-on sentences are hard to decipher and make sense of.
My Little Pony Obsession
Not only has she been having sex with crickets, she has been having fantasies of the two of them becoming magical ponies, thus turning her into another brony. In said pony pictures, she can be seen flaunting her relationship to other ponies who in return gush and goo over how they will never have anything as magical as her marriage to Jiminy. She draws herself as a unicorn, Jiminy as a pegasus, and her daughter as a hybrid of the two, and has written stories about her daughter wanting to be a princess or some shit. She also takes screenshots of pony characters from the show and claims she drew them herself. How original.
She continues to produce original artwork of her pony self and think she is contributing to society, but she is clearly wrong.
Reaction to Gay Fanfiction
On March 9, 2013, things got serious when she found out somebody had written a fanfiction about her beloved husband having gay-sex with the mouse from Dumbo. She threw a tantrum about it, claiming that Jiminy's cricket dick was hers and hers alone before then going on to state that she would leave him if he did anything like that ever again. As her journal details in her typical run-ons and bad grammar:
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
Less than twenty-four hours later she came out with another journal, apologizing to Jiminy and saying her love for him, as well as their human daughter, were important to her and she would never give up on him. NEVER.
The Trolls Have Found Her At Last
On April 6, 2013, an anon on Tumblr posted a link to JiminycricketFan007's gallery, and all necessary hell broke loose. Tartlets were stating the obvious and telling her what she was doing was crazy and sick.
—0Decessus0 |
In response to the trolls, she is now producing shit art of the dead voice actor behind her cricket, Cliff Edwards. If she can't be in love with a cartoon cricket, it's fine to be in love with an old dude who's been dead for years AND was happily married for years, right?
—JiminycricketFan007, in response to someone pointing out her love for a cricket is invalid |
She also mentions that she doesn't give a fuck about what everyone else thinks, but all the hidden comments on her wall tell a different story.
In the real world, she has been ridiculed and trolled in real life for her love for the cricket. She has no friends in real life, and her family is embarrassed by her, as they should be. Her mother is said to have her daughter's love for the cricket go too far. Hollie chooses to piss off everyone by continuing her love for Jiminy and not listen to any criticism. In fact, the only comments she fully embraces are those from her ass patting friends...which include some bitch who is apparently married to Dopey. lolwut?
Breaking news! Hollie has become aware of this article and is going to ragequit her account! Nothing like posting the name of your new account on your journal to satisfy trolls.
In response to her discovery on the internetz, she continues to bitch and moan about how horrible people are and that she doesn't deserve any of this. While she is getting good advice from people that she should basically disappear from the internet and the world together, she continues to keep making shit. Seriously, we know you're reading this, Hollie. Stop making shit art. It's creepy and so very wrong in every form. Nobody likes it, and your followers are idiots for thinking so. Cliff Edwards would be spinning in his grave if he found out you wanted sex with him OR Jiminy.
Her friends attempted to delete this article in order to help the spoiled twat feel better, but they were complete idiots doing so. She continues to create shitty art, despite people telling her to keep her creepy life to herself.
Quotably Quotable
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
Gallery
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Highly disturbing.
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OH GOD WHY
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Not only is Pinoke dead, Jiminy and cray-cray are singing to his corpse. Jesus.
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Anatomy, you suck at it.
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Shitting on two movies.
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GET IN MAH BELLY.
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Not sure if Jiminy or creepy Six Flags man.
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Pretty scary shit right here.
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Why does she have a doll version of her "father?" Seriously.
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Not sure if Cliff Edwards or Sheldon Cooper...
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How unsexy.
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Her trying to have swag.
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Is...is he humping her torso??
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She put a ring on it. A real, goddamn ring.
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Double the pleasure, double the lulz.
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One of the "better" selfies.
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So this is what made the Joker crazy...
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She haz two chins, going on three chins...
External Links
- JiminycricketFan007 (deleted)
- Crystal-Lunawolf97 (current)
- Luna-Wolfmoon
- http://animatedc9000.deviantart.com/art/It-Had-to-Be-You-a-Jiminy-Timothy-one-shot-339613540
- http://sociallyunacceptableart2.tumblr.com/post/47168172501 Where people first discovered her.
- https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jiminycricketfan007.10864/ Her thread on Kiwi Farms.
See Also
- Bambifan101
- Dirty Disney Confessions
- Dying alone
- Fangirl
- Freak
- Ray Jones
- Realmrsoptimusprime
- Sick Fuck
Jiminycricketfan007 is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |