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April Winchell

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Early Life and Introduction

April Winchell was born to a mentally ill puppet fucking moron named Paul Winchell, after he fucked one of his puppets out of boredom. She is now 50-1000 years old, but has the mind of a 12 year old. While April Winchell has no problem taking YOUR images, mocking them, and stealing other peoples' work around the web, she has a shit fit when you steal from her or point out her mistakes, calling her out for her insults towards the gay community. April Winchell also has no problem with airing her dead mental patient father's dirty laundry out on the web, and outed him as the puppet fucking mental case that he truly is, on her blog for "x" amount of people to see. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer, but unfortunately lived.

Since she is an untalented fuck, and ugly as a pile of shit, she has to make her living hiding behind websites and a microphone, AKA: has to make the majority of her living as a sad sack o' shit voice actress and 'webmistress'. She labels her "Regretsy" site as a "business", proving she makes her living out of ripping off other people, when she's not hired as a shit voice actress for failure cartoons and kiddie shows or discussing her father's erotic puppet sex life.

To cover her ass, she claims all Etsy images are "public domain" or that she got permission from the users to use their images to mock. Seriously, does anyone really believe this ugly slut? April, we all see you on your bike, going backwards!

April Winchell is only "sorry" about all of this because she got caught. She was caught insulting the community she so strongly "supported" by throwing them a nickel's donation once or twice a year, so she's totally immune to any mockery.

Bottom line: April Winchell is a fraud. A liar. A thieving slut.

The Fuck Up

At first glance, April is an ED wet dream. Do not be fooled. April Winchell is a coward. For someone whose internet celebrity relies fully on making fun of others, you'd think she could handle a little friendly ribbing.

You've heard of a site called Regretsy. It's a site for great justice. Someone needed to show the people of Etsy the truth about the real world. And the truth is, we don't care about your shit. April jumped at the chance and launched Regretsy last thursday.

At first, everything was great and much lols were had. Then she called all people from Boston "Crab Hammering Puritanical Dick Bags" (Nevermind. That's still pretty lol.) Her next foray into offending the drooling masses was her unending use of the word "retard".

retard retard retard

People were outraged.

People start unliking her Facebook page.

April tantrums like a little girl.

To counter, April throws their exit speeches up in her flounce album.

And here is where the trick bitchery starts. You see, it's all well and good for April to steal peoples' pics for all the world to laugh at. (And it is.) But don't you DARE take one of hers.

"DO NOT STEAL THIS PIC!"

She will run to the ends of the earth to make you hide that shit.

   
 
This is my photograph, and I own all rights to its use. The photo was stolen from my Facebook page before I removed it, and is now being hosted at Livejournal without consent. ****** is using the image to target me and my fiance, and to attempt to cause harm to my business.
 

 
 

—April Winchell to LJAbuse

After receiving word of this article, April hastily sent a PM through livejournal's message system.

   
 
I would like to explain to you why I asked LiveJournal to remove the photo.

I took the photo off Facebook for a reason. It made people angry and hurt them. I may make snotty jokes about handcrafts, but it is never my intention to truly wound someone.

I filed the DMCA notice because this is serious to me. Maybe I should have just written to you in the first place, I don't know. I apologize if I handled this badly.

But please, stop posting it. It doesn't serve anyone. It doesn't open a dialogue, it doesn't educate anyone, and it doesn't make things better for the LGBT community. Just upsetting people isn't the same as activism.

Please, take down the Encyclopedia Dramatica entry. I have had a lifetime of fundraising and activism on behalf of my LGBT friends and family members, and I'm heartbroken to be portrayed as an enemy of that community.

I don't mind if people don't think my work is funny or don't like what I do. I understand that I'm not always going to hit it out of the park with everyone, and I accept that. I fail a lot at what I do. But this is not about that. This is about my trying to right a wrong, and I am humbly asking that you permit me to do so.

Respectfully,

April Winchell
 


 
 

And then she flounced from LJ altogether.

See Also


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