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Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/August 21, 2022

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Stephen Paddock

Stephen Craig Paddock (a.k.a. Abu Abdul Bar al-Amriki and Captain Paddock) was a veritable God among men who had a life's worth of experience at the age of 64 as a licensed pilot, gambler, Imam, hunter, and professional geriatric. On October 1, 2017, after 9 months of a rather uneventful year, Stephen said, "Gosh darn it!" and decided to put his mad skillz to the test with one last gamble as he ordered the degenerate youth of Las Vegas to get the fuck off his lawn in style.

Stephen, a literal die-hard fan of country music, smashed open the windows in his suite in the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino and rained lead on a crowd of 22,000 stupid posers attending the Route 91 Harvest, a so-called "country music" festival that Stephen believed was brutally raping the genre he loved so dearly.

With 10 points in agility and perception, this Courier of Death delivered swift justice to the New Vegas strip as he racked up a whopping 58 kills and 422 injuries (all under 12 minutes!!) before being interrupted and finally turning the gun on himself. Stevie committed the deadliest mass shooting by a lone gunman (or any gunmen for that matter) in US history; his super effective technique, the Mandalay Bay Spray and Pray, is hailed by critics as the "best thing to happen in Vegas since The Hangover."

(( USA WORLD CHAMP ))


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