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Alligator

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Hagibor at 02:39, 10 June 2018. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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File:Teeth gator 678.png

The Alligator Alligator mississippiensis or the American Alligator is a big toothed, overly friendly lizard that does neighborhoods and and housing community a favor by eating different kinds of rodents such as rats, stray cats and small dogs.

A living fossil, 35 million years ago it was the Alligator that was home and got the memo when Raptor Jesus put out the call that a flood was coming when G-D decided to throw a flow at the Earth Giants because HE was getting sick of seeing Wimmins Yiffing with T-Rexes a nd kids being birn scales and tails.

A very friendly animal that can be fed by hand. You should always run right up to one and scratch it behind the eyes, better yet, they are so safe, docile and trustworthy it is safe to sit in front of one and slap the edge of the water it is hiding beneath.

Florida's Easter Bunny

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Every year, to celebrate the birth of Raptor Jesus, inbred Trailor park hicks staple bunny ears onto to heads of freshly hatched Alligators and sell them to the children of tourists for $25 a pop where they are later flushed down the toilets of major metropolitan areas when they are found in the child's suitcase to later grow into the man eaters of legend.

Shoes

If you can actually break yourself away from the comfort of your basement to walk up the steps and make it upstairs without your feet sweeping up to two times their size then you should think of getting a pair if these because they are proper uniform for when you go out to talk to girls.

Averaging about $800 a pair on the low end, you might have to go without your Xbox One, PlayStation 4, Junk Food and computer to get yourself a pair.

It's be better if you didn't. Like all your promises of going outside to talk to girls, they'll just be like you, sitting in the basement gathering dust.

If you want a pair but are worried about libtard things like sustaining the species, don't worry, they've survived 30million years - they will survive another 30.