User:Gghouck/Sandbox

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Typical Mőtley Crűe practice session. Totally not gay..

Teh Band

Mőtley Crűe are shitty band of dirty Americunts. Shitty people playing shitty semi-satanic music for even shittier kids to listen to while doing shitty drugs. When they're not playing thier god awful music they're usually addicted to heroin, porn, domestic violence, and vehicular homicide. They appeal to pansy edgelord kids because "herr durr they is into like Satan and drugs and stuff". Women's clothing, makeup, hairspray, and semen help make up the band's trademark look: That of a quintet of cross-dressing kids with an eating disorder. The last time we saw a group of pussies of this caliber was during the French surrender during World War II.

"Members"

Is he singing or is he having a stroke?

Vince "I'm totally OK to drive" Neil

Vince Neil (powerword Vincent Neil Wharton) is the band's singer. Typical blonde-haired, lipstick-wearing, Glam Band type, he sings like an epileptic chicken with its ass on fire. His looks were a cross between a bulimic Axl Rose and Axl Rose's lesbian sister, who also happens to be bulimic. As the years have gotten the best of him, he now looks like the human personification of too many Denny's Grand Slam Breakfasts. I guess that's what happens when you quit the yayo diet. Known largely for killing his friend by driving like the drunken, drug addled dipshit he is, somehow between Vince, a real musican, and a sports car, he was the only one to survive. Neil, taking a play out of Tommy "Wifebeater" Lee's book, he's been charged with various forms of battery several times, at times one of his 4 ex-wives. He was temporarily replaced by John Corabi giving the band it's only chance to make any good music, but lo and behold the band took him back. Also had a kid that died.

Nikki Sixx, also known as Johnny Depp.

Nikki "Got some H?" Sixx

Nikki Sixx, (powerword Frank Feranna Jr.) is the band's Bass player and token emo. He never really learned to play any instrument so like most bass players, he is totally fucking useless. He is known for terrible music, even worse songwriting, and several recoveries from heroin overdoses. Like Vince, he too has given a just and caring god ample opportunity to snuff him out, but apparently god is neither. Instead the world has been forced to endure decades of the band's antics, music, and soaking up of the drugs the public needs in order to handle said antics and music. Seems that for some, all that Satan-worshipping really paid off.

Mick Mars after having his soul eaten, probably by that fat fuck Vince

Mick "I'm too old for this shit" Mars

Mick Mars, is the band's lead guitarist. The only member with even a modicum of musical talent, why his old ass is hanging around with these retards is anyone's guess. Also the only member of the band that doesn't have a extensive arrest record, his having black hair, tattoos, and an abundance of ugly are the only things that make him fit in. Despite being horrible disabled he has been romantically linked to some hot chicks, further proving supernatural meddling in everyday life.

Not rapey at all.

Tommy "Wifebeater" Lee

Tommy Lee is the band's drummer. He is known for playing his drums upside-down, weighing less than one of the Olsen twins when they were 12, and beating women. He has been romantically linked to several women who Ediots would likely fap to, once again proving women are dumb. When he isn't using his babymomma as a punching bag, he spends his time being a disease ridden junky. He is also known for making Pr0n with sperm-sponge Pamela Anderson and having sex with a boat. Both Pamela and the boat contrcted Hepatitus from said encounter.

"Musical Style"

Their style is 5% heavy Metal, 5% Satanic droning, and the rest a cacophony of shit and fail. Amazing basslines, rythmic percussion, harmonic guitar riffs, they have none of those, relying solely on Vince Neil's cat-torturing vocals to drown the rest of it out. If AIDS and Cancer had an illegitimate crackbaby, it's cries would immediately be recorded so Nikki Sixx could start on the lyrics to accompany it on a slow, arduous trip to the lower levels of purgatory. Unfortunately the band would likely not follow suit.

Albums

• Too Fast for Love: Emo love songs and hate.
• Shout at the Devil: 23% MORE EMO, also a bunch of Satanic shit.
• Theater of Pain: It's flagship song was someone else's.
• Girls, Girls, Girls: Yep, that's what they're trying to be.
• Dr. Feelgood: The band is supposedly sober during this time, it didn't help them.
• Mőtley Crűe: They fired Vince, made this turd, and begged him to come back.

Nothing further to note.

Typical Mőtley Crűe Faggotry

Noted as "The world's most notorious band", they have inflicted their "music" upon an unsuspecting world for several decades. Their normal routine is make shitty music, tour playing shitty music, do drugs by the truckload and somehow survive, beat women, piss off everyone outside America, rinse, repeat. No four people have contributed more reasons for the civilized world to hate America, Americans, and everything American then these four idiots (five if you include Corabi).

Fans

They suck.

Ways to piss off the Mőtley Crűe fandom

• Tell them Axl Rose could kick Vince Neil's ass.
• Tell them Axl Rose DID in fact kick Vince Neil's ass.
• Tell them you don't like the way those chicks dress.
• Spell the band's name Motly Crew.
• Continuously mistake them for the band Poison.
• Tell them how Vince should still be in prison and he didn't get nearly enough time.
• Tell them the band's best work was with John Corabi.
• Say things like "Anyone can play the drums upside-down, but can Tommy Lee refrain from beating his women?"
• Tell them Home Sweet Home is the theme song for an all-gay prom.
• Argue that Nikki Sixx used to be in The Village People.
• Ask when they're going to play "Karma Chameleon".
• Ask how Tommy Lee's T-cell count is doing.
• Point at a picture of Mick Mars and ask if it is his funeral photo.
• Say they stole their style from Slayer.
• Ask them which one wrote "Smokin' in the Boys Room".

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