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Reality Distortion Field

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Steve Jobs as he is seen through the lens of the Reality Distortion Field

The Reality Distortion Field is the mutant capability of Steve Jobs gained by eating over 9000 radioactive apples. It is like Magneto's power of magnetism, only in this case, it will make you want to buy an Apple product despite not being gay. An example of the Reality Distortion Field in action was the original iMac. It was underpowered, overpriced, had no floppy drive, and only two USB ports. And yet because it looked like a jellybean, everyone wanted one. Whole books were devoted to it, websites were dedicated to it, teenage boys drew hentai representations of it -- yet it was just a gimmick.

If you are under the spell of the Reality Distortion Field, you will want to have Steve Jobs's baby, leak rumours of your illicit affair, and then buy a U2 iPod to commemorate it.

The Reality Distortion Field was brought back again for the iPhone, where Jobs would go on to act as if he invented the fucking internet.

Fact

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