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Kim Kardashian

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Half man, half woman, half sheep
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Kim's Top, concealed by an ill-fitting cardigan
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Kim's hilarious "leaked" sex tape
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Keeping up with the Cardassians

Kimberly Knoel "Kim" Kardashian (born October 21, 1980) is an American celebutante, entrepreneur, socialite, electrolyte, model, actress, and television personality. Kardashian is of Scottish (father), Dutch (mother) and Armenian (sheep) descent, the daughter of attorney Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian and Kuddles (née Shawn). She has several siblings, namely Khloe, Kylie, Kendall, Kate, Koko Krunch and King Kong, and her favourite bands include Kool and the Gang, Kasabian and Justin Bieber. Her deformed half man child, Kody Kardashian, has recently been put up for sale on eBay.

America's Top Model

Kardashian won this test of skill and brain power using her famous Top, which she then had photographed for Playboy Magazine before having it removed and replaced with silicone. The excess breast fat was send to Africa to feed starving picaninnies. In her acceptance speech Kardigan said "I want to achieve World White Supremacy and a ten figure salary, not necessarily in that order."

Keeping Up With the KKK

This is an American reality television series best watched on Es. As well as the Kardigan family, the secondary cast include the late Eugene Terreblanche, Nick Griffin and sexy fake prostatot Yo-Landi Vi$$er from Die Antwoord. Episodes includes "Birthday Suit" in which Kim arranges for her Mum to be sexually ravaged by a gang of black men and "Dude Where's My Pregnancy?" in which Kim conceives a Philippino child in her anus.

Personal Life

According to Wikipedia, a "personal life" is defined as "private life separate from work". Since Kardigan's life is about as private as that of a goldfish in the window of an Amsterdam prostitute who is on a 24 hour webcam displayed via projectors onto the surface of the moon, she doesn't have one.

Sex tape

In 2007, a pornographic home video she made with her then-boyfriend, R&B singer Ray J, was leaked. Kardigan sued Vivid Entertainment for ownership of the tape. Kardigan later dropped the suit and settled with Vivid Entertainment for $5 million. Only kidding. I made that up for a laugh. Vivid simply paid her a regular whore salary and then covered it up so as not to turn her into another PR disaster like Vanessa Hudgens. Now on sale for five dollar at your local Walmart as Me Love You Long Time.I’d like to add that this is the only reason why this dirty snicker licker is so famous. For if this sex tape had not been “released” her ass would still be a nobody, so I don’t see why she sued anyone she should of been thanking the persons responsible for the release of the tape for starting her career as a whore that has a huge ass.

Catching up with the Kardashians (so help us God)

Kim and her famliy had their own show about the typical day to day life of a fucking moron and her incest family. Never has there been such a fucking spectacle than this. Just because she is loaded DOESN'T mean she has to her own fucking show about her fucking life. Her activites include: being raped by every ugly man she can get her hands on, sucking off her father for moar money, selling herself to fat angry sex offenders, sucking her dad off for even moar money, talking usual shitty girl talk to her "friends" that is usually found on shit TV show, SUCKING HER DAD!!!!!!

From the evidence seen here you probably want to avoid watching this show if you value your mentality.

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A typical Kim Kardashian fangirl
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The average and intelligent response of a Kim Kardigan fangirl lulz

See Also

Kim Kardashian is part of a series on

Whores

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Kim Kardashian is part of a series on

Television

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