Gay Rape

Gay Rape

Gay rape is a stimulating hobby that faggot shit stabbers enjoy. The 3 rules of this popular and light hearted game are very simple, they are:

1. The person committing rape must be gay, 2. The person being raped must be straight. 3. The person being raped must have no prior knowledge of the fact that they are going to get raped.

Gay rape is not to be confused with queer bashing. Or Gay faggots having dirty bumsex with each other.

Gay rape was invented in 1982 by bored gay people in the back streets of Luton England and soon spread across the whole of Europe and then Murka. It is estimated in a 2011 watchdog report that as of November 2010 93.5% of all males on the planet have been raped by a gay. Judging by this data they say that if you are male and you haven’t been raped by a gay faggot yet you almost definitely will be in the next two weeks. There are no statistics for female gay rape as all woman love having sex with each other all of the time and thus they break the 2nd and 3rd rules of gay rape.

Famous Gay Rapists:

Bubba,

Purple Akky,

Bill Gates,

Simon Cowell,

Gordon Ramsay,

Your Dad,

You,

Mr. T,

WWE wrestlers,

Michael Heseltine,

Sean Connery,

All present and ex Presidents of America,

The Pope,

Gandhi,

All policemen,

All people in the army,

Celebrities from Murka,

Nixon

Interestingly ex president Nixon was famed for raping all new male members of his political party, his one light witticism being “I will rape you till you bleed’

Other famous gay rapist quotes are:

Magician Paul Daniels: ‘You’ll like it, not a lot but you’ll like it’,

Mr. T “I pity the fool”,

Prince Philip “it’s the little yellow ones that accept it as a privilege”,

Ex President Jimmy Carter “It’s like breaking in a horse”,

Strong Man Jeff Capes “I like to give em flaps on their arses”,

The seal of approval:

After being raped the victim is branded across the left bum cheek with a red hot iron, a small but permanent burn mark that reads “Bitch” is there forever as proof of the gay rape incident.

It is advised by all medical establishments that people wishing to avoid gay rape should endeavor to have themselves branded in this fashion and pretend that they were raped already. Then if somebody tries to rape you you can laugh and tell the 'would be' rapist that you have already been buggered senseless by somebody else. However it is only polite in Gay Rape circles that the failed victim then rape the 'would be' rapist in the mouth.

Some faggots resist being branded so that they can be raped multiple times.

Goatse

Some people are raped so badly that they end up like Goatse.

Legal Requirements:

It is illegal in the British Isles and most of Europe to attempt gay rape if you are not actually gay. The punishment for attempting gay rape or actually succeeding at gay rape in the poo pipe of somebody who has already been branded is to be hobbled. The hobbled criminal is then fed to pigs. This isn’t the case in Murka where it is assumed by all Murkans that all men are gay anyway.

The Queen

The queen of England is a great supporter of gay rape and it has often been recorded by house maids and other reliable sources at Buckingham Palace that the Queen enjoys setting up a gay rape scene with her husband Prince Philip and watching it. It is said that she grins manically whilst smoking a cigar and sniffing her fingers, whispering quietly to herself “there’s a good little girl, shhhh, there’s a girl.”

It is said by the same sources that tension arouse when her first born son the Prince of Wales refused to rape the Beatles in 1965 when they came to the palace to receive their MBE’s. The Queen is said to have beaten the Prince of Wales to a pulp over the incident. One source from the Palace quoted the Queen as having said “It’s not that Charles doesn’t want to, he does, he just can’t invoke the fear and physical dominance necessary to make a grown man cry and in my book if there aren’t tears then it’s just love making ”

The Guinness book of world Records

Funny man Cyril Mead better known as Sid Little, from the Former comedy double act Little and Large, holds the world record for ‘most Gay Rape victims in one night’, that number being 235. He accomplished this amazing fete whilst entertaining the annual meeting of the British youth organization: ‘the Boys Brigade’ at Felden Lodge, Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire England in 1972, much to the delight of it’s senior members...

His comedy partner Edward McGinnis or Eddie Large no longer maintains contact with Cyril because of the incident. Eddie, another firm and dedicated gay rapist was upset and jealous of Cyril saying: “It’s not fair, Kiddies don’t count!” Eddie believes that he should be in the Guinness book of world records instead for his, now famous, Ethiopian episode, where he raped over 200 dying and malnutritioned Ethiopian males whilst working for heroin addict Bob Geldoff's Live Aid Tour of 1987. He said to a News of the world reporter shortly after the incident: “I give up! What’s the point! It’s my turn now and I should have the world record.” The two haven’t spoken since 1988. However it is rumored that the Queen is trying to arrange some kind of reconciliation get together for the two Gay Rape power houses.