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K/
Welcome to the only board on 4chan where you couldn't say "nigger", even before /new/'s demise.
/k/ (also known among Pink Pistols members as Special K) is the weapons board on 4chan, and the easiest to troll, where paranoid, socially retarded rednecks and FPS fapping 13-year-old fun boys gather to discuss firearms, bombs and how to assassinate Obama. All /k/-users call themselves /k/ommandos and are correct in thinking that all the problems in the world can be solved if everybody carried weapons. The only thing besides the M1911 that makes a /k/ommando wet is the thought of R. Lee Ermey screaming obscenities at them, while they defend their mobile homes from IRS agents with armor-piercing munitions and claymore mines. They also believe that the end is near and the only way to prepare for it is to grow a neckbeard, stop taking showers, move away from society into a camouflaged shed in the middle of nowhere, booby trap the entire compound and shoot anybody who looks at them funny period.
/k/ Is by far the easiest board to troll on 4chan. This is due to the high concentration of underage b& who post there. You see, teenage boys are physically incapable of ignoring trolls, which they perceive to be a direct threat to their E-penis'. Every troll is a successful troll on /k/ because the hormonally charged teenagers there believe that /k/ is serious fucking business. Compounding the problem is that there are large numbers of teenage boys from both the USA and Europe, which leads to countless threads about which country is better, usually devolving into the classic "I could kick your ass if I really wanted to" style posturing innate to 13 year olds.
Demographics of /k/
— - Description of a typical /k/ommando | ||
- The batshit crazy libertarian - The majority of /k/ is comprised of this demographic. The libertarians on /k/ are young Ted Kaczynski's, who believe that "the gubmint is gonna take our guns n' put us all in FEMA camps." One of the most common topics discussed by them is how to kill feds, black people, and ZOG. Another common topic is what to do in the event of an emergency, the answer to which is, invariably, "I'mma git mah SKS n' go inna woods." The libertarians of /k/ usually believe that 9/11 was the work of the US government, as part of a conspiracy to take away their rights and let niggers rule the country; they're not exactly sure about the details, but it's something like that anyway. The libertarians of /k/ may or may not own real guns- it mostly depends on whether or not the /k/ommando in question is 18 years old yet, and if his mother will allow him to keep guns in the basement.
- The Eurofag - These pansies visit /k/ for the sole purpose of trolling the Americans there. Since Europe is made up of either communist nanny states or totalitarian police states, these guys cannot own firearms. So they make up for their lack of Pingas compensators by trolling /k/, collecting images of weapons, and buying (licensed) airshit. Despite the fact that the typical Eurofag does not have any firearms or any experience, thus not knowing shit, they are the most dogmatic and stubborn debaters when it comes to weapon systems and calibers. The Eurofag is jealous of USA and will take every opportunity to whine, bitch and moan about american ways and politics and will celebrate and cherish every US casualty. They are common carriers of the AIDS.
- The Australian - The sad puppy dogs of /k/. They desperately want to own guns like the Americans can, but due to their communist government's policies, they are not allowed to. Australians typically post threads bragging about their bolt-action .22 LR target rifle that they have to keep unloaded, locked away in a safe, with the ammunition stored seperatly, at a shooting range a couple of miles away. They also like asking how they can buy a gun in Australia. No matter what they post about though, the thread will swiftly fill up with Josef Fritzl memes and jokes about how much Australia fails.
- The Gun Owner An elusive creature, often compared to Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. It is hotly debated whether any gun owners actually exist on /k/. Some argue that there once were gun owners on /k/, but they were driven out by tripfags, teenage boys, and the assorted other forms of cancer which now dominate the board. So far, there is no conclusive evidence to prove their existence, and most experts dismiss them as mythological creatures, yet sightings continue to occur every so often. The search continues.
Chemo
In early March 2010, moot awoke from his soup fueled stupor and realized that /k/ was quickly becoming just as cancerous as /x/. His solution? A Nazi mod. Immediately upon assuming control, the new mod began banning all of the Stormfags and trolls who were killing /k/. At 07:40 GMT the entire front page of /k/ was weapons related, for the first time in 2 years. The regulars of /k/ were pleased and started to become receptive to the new mod. This behavior continued only until the mod was done with the cancer and started banning people for the black person word, not weapon-related OP pics, homophobic posts and anything fun in general, in an attempt to transform /k/ into a second Arfcom. The displeasure reached the top when the mod failed miserably to stop the /b/ raid and /k/ was flooded with cameras, tripods and fierce flamewars in reaction to a recently released video of Apache pilots pwning a bunch of sand niggers. The mod has been busy ever since and his only real contribution to the board remains the ban of Svet's tripcode and wordfilter on the black person word. The mod has returned, more totalitarian as ever, in an effort to turn /k/ into OPchan.
Notable Tripfags
Just like any 4chan specialty board, /k/ has it's own army of insufferable, bullshitting tripfags who always ruin everything.
[[That gun is shit. Buy a good gun instead.]]
The /k/ommando
A poster on /k/ who actually owns a machine gun and a suppressor. As one of the few class III owners on /k/, he is a total dick to those he regards as lowly hobbyists. He is sure to point out how lame semi automatic rifles are when you could have spent the extra $10,000 on a full auto. His trip alone, referring to himself as the /k/ommando alone reflects a fair amount of faggotry.
Duke Nukem
Weeaboo Crew
These work as a team to spread fail and AIDS to all.
Marisa Kirisame
A weeaboo basement dweller who RPs as a animu witch girl and trolls /k/ by simply existing. His Pingas is most likely microscopic, like most asians. His love for the Five-seveN is unnatural and possibly illegal in all 50 states. Once left /k/ "for good" and returned the next morning under a different name. When called out on it by Pervasive Fagrant, he switched back to his old name.
Kagami
Another weeaboo who claims to be a girl. Shitposts all day and then complains that nobody likes him. Confirmed to be a nigger.
Arcueid Brunested
The weeaboo who started the trend. He bears responsibility for the entire plague of faggots.
Anthraxinsoup
A faggot who claims to attend the The air force academy and goes on /k/ just to treat /k/ as LiveJournal and shitpost intentionally. He posted pictures of his cock with bullets shoved in his cock hole, which is rare for a tripfag. He claims to be soon married to his girlfriend, which means he will lose all sex expect for when his wife wants a baby (although he shouldn't be allowed to have kids). He likes to brag about how he is attending the air force academy, is getting married, owns guns, will be a CRO, is going for pre-med, going the pharmacy school, getting a 29 on his ACT, becoming a colonel, pharmacist, doctor, lawyer, and politician. He also hated and battled the fag that was XxXEmofagXxX, something that he has done right for once. Some quotes about him and his communism: EDIT- No one has any quotes about him, or even knows who he is. He just decided to add some made up shit to his already enormous auto-biography here. No one writes this much about a unknown tripfag. Note that Anthraxinsoup is a massive butthurt atheist faggot who will start shit threads on /k/ about how butthurt God makes him.
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
A pussy who washed out of boot camp but talks like he's a 30 year veteran OPERATOR, and claims to be both a Marine and a Veteran of the Armed Forces. If you ever see a post speaking of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. in a positive light, it is him samefagging as an anon. He does this to put off the illusion that anyone ever agrees with him/he isn't a cockmongling dropout. He also frequently changes his description on this page in the hopes of making people believe he's not a faggot. The only tripfaggot for whom the mods will get off their asses to ban.
Phil Ossiferz Stone
A Fudd who spends his time complaining about racism on /k/ and then posts anti-black person rants. Tells other people to buy bolt-action rifles for home defense in between posting Playboy scans from the 1980s. He recently ordered a DVD set of gun training for homosexuals and then teased the whole board with it and refused to torrent it. He decided to show it on a web streaming service but deleted his account after few /k/lansmen threatened to report him for copyright violations.
M1A Girl
An annoying and pretentious attention whore that's substituting her lack of tits (she sports a pair of A-cup invisitits) and social life (she has no man) with guns and with trolling virgins on k. She spends all her money on guns instead of on makeup, cooking books and kitchenware. It is widely assumed that her hate of men and her extreme penis envy (which she compensates with guns) was the result of her fundamentalist religious upbringing and possibly sexual child abuse. She was banned but has unfortunately reappeared.
Get Some
A Canadian who was in the Canadian military. He loves the AR-15 more than life itself. If you are enough of a massive faggot to want to buy that jamtastic piece of shit you should talk to him.
Pervasive Vagrant
An Asspie. Used to go by OP, in order to be a funny guy and make himself believe that people actually wanted to hold a conversation with him and not the Original Poster of the thread. Was later banned for pervasive vagrancy, which is how he got the new name. He gets drunk, by himself, on nearly every Friday and Saturday in hopes of forgetting his total lack of friends. He then posts rambling threads on /k/ in hopes of filling the social void in his life. Often rages at politics threads in k (despite the fact that for more than a year he himself spammed /k/ with /b/ memes, combos, and other utterly unrelated shit,) at being called out on the fact that his guns are Jew surplus, and at being called a fat asspie. Gets all of his info from Google and Wikipedia. Calling him out on his opinions and asking for a valid source will either result in him ignoring the post or completely leaving the thread.
CanadaGoose
A total pain in the ass. Started posting in early 2010, though claims to have lurked /k/ for years. Also reported to be a former /b/tard. A douchebag that claims to know everything about camping and survival but in fact doesn't know shit. He has been spotted editing his info on the /k/ article of ED.
Vojnik
A 40-something Muslim terrorist from Bosnia who currently resides in the USA. He claims to have killed people in combat during the 1992 Bosnian War, but obviously didn't. All he does is post shitty livelink movies and changes his ED info. What a faggot.
BOOF
A fat old loser who spends way too much time on 4Chan. Claims to be the best tripfag on /k/, and often samefags with various replies to bolster this pseudo-reputation. Any thread with BOOF in it will often be accompanied by BOOF samefagging such quotes as "BOOF IS SO GREAT" and "BOOF IS THE BEST" and "I LOVE BOOF". Justifies his self-propagated myth by spamming /k/ with his shitty threads on a near daily basis. Unfortunately 99.999999% of them are nothing more than "HEY GUISE WATCH ME STRIP THIS SHITTY OLD GUN THAT NO ONE OWNS OR CARES ABOUT WHILE I BUMP THIS SHIT THREAD TO PAGE 1 FOR THE NEXT 10 HOURS WITH MASSIVE BLURRY PHOTOS". black person.
ZUN
God amongst trolls. Hails from a tiny island of chinkapork and is the anti-troll of Malaysia trolls. Does not post anything related to weapons at all except for the Singaporean Army. Also made Marisa suck his tiny asian penis on MSN for hentai and then posted the chatlog on /k/. Marisa got butthurt over it and /k/ommandos can finally counter troll Marisa just by posting the chatlog. He also is looking after a delectable little loli.
Doesn't post in /k/ anymore and is seen in /int/.
Svet
A guy pretending to be a young, attractive, female veteran of the Iraq War. /k/ eventually discovered that he was mining the Facebook page of one Melissa Martin (an 18 year old pothead from Iowa) for pics. In a glorious act of justice, Svet was permab& from /k/ by moot, now posts simply as two trips: "!AP6PiIKnos!!SpMxCIWJzZd".
LegalMumboJumbo
Imagine if you were a balding 23 year old who lived at home, had no education and no job. Imagine that your mommy and daddy pandered to you like a child, and you still sounded like one. Imagine that you were still a virgin and that you had the body of a pudgy 14 year old. Imagine that you knew absolutely nothing about weapons, but were an obsessive radio hobbyist who spent his entire high school career dicking about making friends with truckers and the drive-thru people at McDonalds. Imagine that you are a four-eyed loser with a face that not even a mother could love. Imagine that you had no prospects, but a horribly over-inflated sense of self-importance and narcissistic tendencies rivaled only by Charles Manson. Imagine that you had no friends and no girl had ever shown the slightest interest in you. Imagine that you were plagued with crippling loneliness and depression, and your only coping mechanism was denial.
Now imagine that you stumbled across this website called 4Chan that lets you post Anonymously, even with a name, where you can claim anything and everything without having to provide any proof. A place where you are guaranteed attention, even if you don't belong and only cause problems.
Apart from being all of the aforementioned, he is a notorious samefag. His favourite M.O. is to create a thread asking for general information on one of the few limited subjects he believes he has some knowledge of, then filling said thread with his own replies. This is an attempt to create the illusion that he contributes something to /k/, but it is very transparent and never fools anyone. He is considered by many to be the worst tripfag in the history of /k/ (that's right kids, even worse than Douk or Marisa). Much all of the time these threads will be ripe with images, either pictures of his father's guns (because he doesn't own any because he's a niggerfaggot) or images pilfered from a website used by people who actually own guns.
Famous LMJ quotes:
— - on why stainless steel is a bad choice for knives | ||
— - on how he's awesome and popular and athletic | ||
— - on the subject of the Tokarev TT-33 | ||
— - stroking his own massive ego | ||
— - Anonymous | ||
— - Anonymous | ||
black person
A nigger from Africa that ventured to the U.S. to find a cure for AIDS that was given to him by his nigger back in Africa. Only posts on /k/ to show off his shitty Glock and radio in attempts to increase his penis size so that he can match the penis size of the nigger waiting for him back in Africa. His EDC consists of an African passport and African money. It is rumored that this reminds SA Operator of the nigger that is waiting for him back in Africa and that motivates him to keep finding cure for AIDS. Got b& for being a faggot. Famous for LMJ dicksucking because LMJ is the only tripfag more hated than him and will take whatever he can get.
SIGfag
A self-righteous and arrogant homosexual from Switzerland who admits this fact in his own trip. Attempts crude trolling techniques which consist of posting a series of expensive gun photos stolen from various online forums and claiming them as his own. He claims to own thousands of dollars worth of class III weapons and machine guns with a SIG 551 being his center piece. This has obviously never been substantiated and can thus this grotesquely stupid trip can be brushed off as a local idiot waving his penis at oncoming traffic in a futile attempt at attention-whoring. Among his deluded rants, he states that handguns are worthless and that a 40-pound 4-foot DP-28 machine gun makes a superb CQB weapon. Is believed to be S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
/k/ Memes (aka How to troll /k/)
- An often misunderstood weapon - The last attempt of a long time poster and flaming homosexual to make /k/ talk about guns. The attempt failed and said faggot committed Internet-suicide and died for all of /k/s sins.
- AK47 vs M16 - dumb discussion since the Desert Eagle pwns both.
- Airshit - gb2/toy/
- Banned in Britain - guns, knives, capitalism, individual freedom, white people, etc.
- Barrel shroud - That shoulder thing that goes up.[1].
- China - The only country on Earth that is better than /k/ at throwing their lives away for stupid shit. A military power of elite Segway operators, inform /k/ that in a conflict between the United States and the People's Republic of China, the United States would lose.
- Clip - A strip of metal used to insert bullets into a magazine.
- Cowadooty - A corruption of "Call of Duty" that /k/ommandos use because they think it sounds witty. /k/ommandos can't accept the fact that it's a video game version of an action movie and will bitch about realism and the guns.
- Deagle - The ultimate weapon to defeat any threat, fires awesomely XBOX HUEG round. Vidya game developers love to add this gun as the strongest weapon in the game, even when IRL if you fire this gun you'll get killed by the sonic boom. Attach a tactical katana for extra brownie points.
- FEMA death camps - A troll guaranteed to get at least a handful of replies from the paranoid survivalist libertarians who think that FEMA is constructing death camps to genocide conservatives or some bullshit they heard at the last John Birch Society meeting.
- Glock - A very potent hand grenade. Some say it also functions as a handgun, though this is known to be a myth.
- Glock 7 - A variant of the Glock preferred by punks. It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. It doesn't show up on airport X-ray machines, and it cost more than you make in a month.
- IDF girls - Yet even more proof that /k/ommandos are basement dwellers who have over 20 fleshlights
- Katanah - Courtesy of /a/, a picture from the animu The Sacred Blacksmith showing a Japanese Katana slicing through a European sword. It has the potential to troll any board on 4chan.
- MALAYSIA STRONG - Mudgooks trolling about how their military is better than a tiny island. Every MALAYSIA STRONG post is a repost.
- Magazine - Playboy, Hustler, Cheri, Swan....wait, not paper magazines? Oh, my bad.
- Meatba - Shit gun loved by f/a/ggots who should gtfo and gb2/a/.
- Moist Nugget - Very cheap and shitty Russian bolt action rifle, perfect for barely-18-year-old faggots who wish to own a gun but mommy won't let them charge over 100 dollars on her credit card.
- Mech Thread - Start a thread about why KAWAII DESU~ GUNDAMUs would totally be the answer to every military problem ever despite being completely useless and impossible to make. Guaranteed image and thread limit with a side of shitstorm. Enjoy!
- Open carry - Wiki wild wild wiki wiki wild wiki wild wiki wiki wild wild west
- Operator - Operator, operator, operator. Operator-operator, operator operator. Operator operator operator.
- Poltics - A topic guaranteed to get 200+ replies. Hot button issues include the typical conservative bait like taxes, global warming and brown people taking the white man's jobs.
- Sealand/Rhodesia - Talk about invading two nations and turning it to the captial of /k/. With humorous or disastrous results
- SIG - overpriced shit only favored by fanboys.
- Slavshit - Once you go slavshit, you never go back (to slavshit).
- S.T.A.L.K.E.R. - GET OUT OF HERE
- Tacticool - A gun doesn't need to work, it just needs to look cool.
- inb4DukeNukem
- Vladimir Putin - You would not last 5 minutes in his world.
- Whale Wars - hay guise let's become privateers and fight hippy pirates by throwing smoke grenades at them!
- What's in your pockets, /k/? - take a picture of over 9,000 of your favorite gadgets and tools and pretend you carry them around all day as your "EDC". guaranteed to grow your e-peen by four inches, because everyone will fap to the idea of you carrying a handgun, two knives, a muti-tool, a flashlight, pepper spray/a tazer, a pen and paper and an iPhone as well as backups to all of these because "I'm a l33t tacticool operater who's ready for anything!!!1!11!!one1!!!"
- Zergface - A Chinese soldier with camouflage face paint grinning like a Chinaman who just saw some unoppressed Tibetans.
- Zombies - Cancer killing /k/.
/k/ on Encyclopedia Dramatica
It has already been repeatedly established that /k/ is the easiest board to troll on 4chan and probably the entire internet. The simplest way to do so of course is to suggest that there may currently be a woman / black person / homosexual browsing /k/ or that at one point in time there was one.
But here on ED is where the true displays of immaturity can be found. Simply by checking the history of the page can you see the amount of vandalism the big strong manly man internet tough guys of /k/ sour the page with. Butthurt is the main import of ED but on this page it really shines.
Even more amazing is that all the vandalism suggests that there are people from /k/ that can actually read. Though it is possible their mothers are reading it to them while changing their diapers.
Some legendary /k/ screencaps
-
/k/unts share their concentration camp experiences. -
YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN! YOU DON'T KNOW! -
EVEN WITH MORE OF THE THREAD FOR CONTEXT, YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND MY PAIN! -
Bat Guano and the essence of /k/.
-
Sure, go ahead and join the Marines. -
The blinding light of Freedom. -
Parenting, /k/ style. -
Occasionally, /k/ is funny. -
/k/ escapes onto /fit/. -
/k/ gets bored sometimes. -
You must open your eyes to the conspiracy. -
Occasionally, /k/ is eye-catching. -
/k/&/an/ <3 forever
-
You think I was kidding when I said /k/ was easy to troll?
-
Ivan Chesnokov does not approve of your modifications. -
/k/ is pretty liberal for a gun forum - which isn't saying much.
/k/ommandos in their natural habitat
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Typical /k/ommando. -
Average /k/ommando.
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Another typical /k/ommando. Note trigger discipline. -
Hunting /k/ommando style! lol P90
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/k/ommando trollin IRL with a shitty fagant. -
The typically typical /k/ommando. Note improper position of elbows for actually firing a weapon. -
a /k/ommando threatening some kids for playing near his property. -
A Grenadier /k/ommando. -
Typical /k/ommando car. -
/k/'s war face -
When you see it...
-
Internet browsing /k/ommando style.
See Also
- Cho Seung-Hui
- Defense Industries Organization
- Glocktalk
- Mujahideen Video
- OPERATORchan - /k/ taken to levels of faggotry previously unknown to man.
- RAGE
- Mushi Crosshairs
External Links
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K/ is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |