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Boku No Pico
When it comes to shotacon, it all boils down to the same: young boys in erotic situations. Boku No Pico (ぼくのぴこ - Translation: My Pico) is about as bad as it gets. Unlike your run-of-the-mill deviantART shota production by a basement dweller living in Bumblefuck, USA, Boku No Pico is a professionally made shotacon anime. Yes, people were paid in the production of this as it was mass produced by a pornography distributor (in fact, the company's name is Natural High). But it's totally not gay since all the voice actors are girls.
Characters
- Pico - The thirteen-year-old androgynous protagonist of the three-part series. A slender frame, shoulder-length golden blond hair, and being quite obviously homosexual, Pico is very often mistaken for being a girl. The opening credits show him in lycra shorts, a swimsuit and frilly panties in quick succession - all with jangly happy J-pop in the background. Because prepubescent transvestites are just the cutest things, amirite? His personality is childish, for the most part, except for when he is buttfucking another boy, in which case he acts like a naggy housewife who doesn't feel like she gets enough out of the relationship. He doesn't have any friends, sans two other boys and a grown man who only use him for sex.
- Pico's grandpa - Arguably the only cool character in the show. He's too cool to give a shit when his grandson disappears with one of his customers.
- Tamotsu - The physical manifestation of every fan of the series. He is a grown man who is ready to rape 24/7. He mistakes Pico for a girl upon their first encounter and even after discovering he is in fact a boy he still sucks his dick and fucks him in the ass. He disappears completely after the first episode.
- Chico - A ten-year-old boy who watches his older sister masturbate and moves on to have many a buttsecks and play with vibrators with Pico in episode two.
- Coco - A thirteen-year-old boy who looks even more feminine than Pico. He appears in the last episode to fuck everything up. Seriously, he's a goddamn ghost or something.
- Chico's sister - A stupid slut who's supposed to be looking after Chico but all she ever does is masturbate to him assfucking Pico. Srsly. She has only like two appearances and in both of them is flicking her bean.
Plot
It all boils down to this: girly-looking boys in erotic situations. The plot summary for the series was literally this:
—Review of Boku no Pico | ||
Please be aware - the following is completely factual and has not been exaggerated in any way. Yes, it really is this bad.
Episode One
It's gay. Pico, in hopes of finding a boyfriend, gets a summer job working for his mentally challenged grandpa as a waiter in his bar. It is here that he meets Tomatsu, who mistakes him for a charming young lady. They end up in bed together a car in broad fucking day light, at which point Tomatsu discovers that Pico is, in fact, packing a wiener. This does not stop him from pumping a good gallon of sperm into the young lad, while Pico worries about the ice cream he is holding. Afterwords, Tomatsu forbids Pico from wearing boy's clothes. Pico, for some reason, gets pissed off a little later in the episode and cuts his hair before running away. Tomatsu finds him and they make up, then continue their buttsecks on the beach. Tomatsu cums inside Pico, which is depicted as both of them jizzing into the air side by side. Tomatsu then dies or some shit, and is never seen beyond this point.
Episode Two
It's still gay (although somewhat less, with the inclusion of a woman schlicking). Pico returns to be someone else's cumdumpster. He meets Chico, an even younger boy. The two become friends and Pico is invited to Chico's home. It is there that Chico takes Pico to his attic. After a disturbing minute of Pico retardidly polking a dick shaped child's toy, Chico begins to stare through a crack at his sister masturbating. Pico informs his incestuous young friend that boys can also masturbate, at which point Pico finds out Chico is hung like a goddamn horse. He jelly. They then break into the sister's stash of sex toys and experiment, not without crossdressing. Chico's sister walks in on this, and, in her surprise, drops the groceries and pleasures herself to it. Fin.
Episode Three
.
Guess what? IT GETS EVEN GAYER!! Pico and Chico are still fucking each other. They meet a nice young girl named Coco. They go around town, and Coco sucks Pico's dick in an abandoned amusement park, while Chico is off playing the crane game. However, it wouldn't quite be right if Coco didn't also turn out to have a penis. After a few rounds of furious anal poundings, Pico finds Chico banging Coco. He, once again, jelly. Shit goes down and they all get mad at each other. Remember when I said Coco's a goddamn ghost? Well he fucking disappears. Like fucking vanishes off the fucking face of the earth. Just like everyone else. These kids are in Tokyo, and the only ones who seem to occupy it. It is safe to assume everyone killed themselves. Anyway, Pico and Chico go on a gay adventure to find their boy toy friend, but dat nigga's gone. They go back to the Buttfuck cave (Coco lives in a subway tunnel under the city) and all the shit's gone. It was probably niggers, but regardless. They eventually find Coco and they all make up with each other and end the series with a bang (Get it? They fuck) as they go into public and form a mantrain in front of the whole world (not that anyone would notice since somehow FUCKING TOKYO IS EMPTY).
Don't Watch an Anime called "Boku"
Some time ago, in April 2008, a nigger named "Young Buck" called out on the animu on some forum/site called "Boxden", and according to his story, a white friend of his sent him the three episodes of the animu (only labeled as "Boku" rather then it's full name) to him, telling him to make sure nobody else is with him when watching it. Buck then suspected that it was some kind of "weird porno", but when he started to watch all three episodes of "Boku", he was completely shocked and offended, saying that it was "like Satan [giving him] his porno collection". Needless to say, the original post soon became a short lived meme/copypasta on /a/.
Some white guy happened to stumble upon the copypasta, and decided it would be funny to record a reading of the copypasta and post it on the American Internets. By pure luck, the recording (in video form) somehow made it's way onto the Japanese Internets by Nico Nico Douga (the Japanese equivalent of YouTube), and soon became a viral hit on the site, with many Japanese users shouting out "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" in the comments section of said video - it even became a source for MAD videos (the Japanese equivalent of YouTube Poops), although not as popular as the many other overused sources on the site.
The Copypasta
Don't watch an anime called "Boku." Man this sh*t is so wrong in so many motherfu*king levels yo...I was talking to one of my white friends and he sent me 3 videos with the name only labeled "Boku" I said to this dude, What's this sh*t? He just giggled and said "Just watch them and MAKE SURE NOBODY IS AROUND YOU WHEN WATCHING IT!" Then I thought it was some weird porno or some strange sh*t but as I watched the first video, I was like "Yo.....what the fu*k.." THEN IT CONTINUED and I was like "Yoooooooooooooooooooooooo......." THEN THEY GOT IN THE MOTHERfu*kING CAR AND THEN I SAID "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" I couldn't fu*king believe what I just saw, It was like Satan gave me his porno collection, sh*t was so disturbing..YET I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT, THEN VIDEO TWO AND IT WAS TWO OF THEM.....THOSE NIGGAS...YOOOOOOO.......THOSE NIGGAS....AND THAT GIRL SAW THEM THEN SHE...YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... THEN THAT NIGGA TOOK THAT DOG TOY THEN YYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........IT WAS LIKE YOUR bi*ch WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU BUT SHE WANTED TO SOMETHING "DIFFERENT" AND IT WAS SO fu*kED UP AND CREEPY, YOU JUST...KEPT WATCHING IT...AND THAT'S WHAT I fu*kING DID!!!!! THEN I SAW VIDEO THREE...THREE NIGGAS...THRRREEEEE!!!!!! IT...WAS...THHHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! AND COCO WAS HIS NAME NIGGA, COCO WAS HIS MOTHERfu*kING NAME!!!!!! OH MY GOD,I AIN'T GOING TO HEAVEN NIGGAS, I ALREADY SOLD MY SOUL TO LUCIFER!
So I Just want to tell you all right now..DON'T WATCH AN ANIME LABELED BOKU, DON'T DO IT NIGGA, IT'S LIKE SUCCUBUS. REMEMBER WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU NIGGAS!
The Recording
SFW Sample
The following video is a music video made from butchering a bunch of clips from Episode Two and mashing them together in a wapanese clusterfuck of homosexuality set to easily one of the most ear-raping songs ever written. Enjoy.
NSFW Sample
Even if we could show you, we wouldn't put you through it. Yes we would.
TL;DR
Two nukes were not enough.
Links
- The main website for this sick shit (Moonspeak only, obviously)
- The first episode can be found here. You're welcome. (Spanish)
- Episode 1 (English)
- Episode 2 (English)
- Episode 3 (English)
- I'm fucking warning you, man.
See Also
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Boku No Pico is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |
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Boku No Pico is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |