John Carmichael

Sorry ladies- he's taken!

Chief Scilon of all New York, and the product of a century-long experiment in serial incest, John Carmichael possesses OT powers that can detect the smell of vagina from miles away. It is speculated that this allows him to avoid the company of strong women who might distract him from his serious love of young men and buttsex. Since the beginning of Project Chanology, Anonymous in New York City have reduced John Carmichael from a cross-dressing, crackhead public relations nightmare to the kind of moron you only find on television shows like Looney Toons, Futurama or Big Gay Al's Big Gay Cross-Dressing Extravaganza.

Fun Facts

In late May of 2008, an ex-member of the Office of Special Affairs let loose the following facts about John Carmichael and the lulz that ensued from trolling him about it were endless...in fact, they continue to this day.

• John is a cross-dresser! This got found out after a Scientologist tried to pick John up in a dive-bar and found out "Carmina" had a cock.
• As a Scientologist, John makes no "real money" so his wife supports him as a "kept man"
• John is currently disconnected from his son, who is rumored to enjoy an "alternate lifestyle"
• John cannot join the Sea Organization because he is a former drug addict

Pussyman On Film!

John Carmichael Circa February 2008...

...and then five months later.

Fan Videos

Carmichael should consider just going ahead
and letting his freak flag fly. He might not be so
obsessed with other people's sex lives and genitalia if he did.

O SHI--!!
Carmichael, with a mug that scares small children

John Carmichael smells pussy...do you?

This video has a guest appearance by John Carmichael (circa 1997).
(It is otherwise unrelated to Carmichael entirely, and is not very LULZy.)
Scroll ahead to the 6:00 minute mark to see John using CoS OT powers
to confront & shatter suppression (i.e., trying but failing to ignore protesters entirely).

Gallery of the Now

• 
  John Carmichael - proud Australian
• 
  MSPaint for great justice
• 
  What John looks like on weekends
• 
  Unhappy Scibunny
• 
  John -- clearly unimpressed with our antics -- considers the report he has to file with OSA-EUS
• 
  John is in your poster, motivating your thetans
• 
  John has his own cologne...does Tommy Davis? Nope!
• 
  Motivator of the now
• 
  A PUSSY, I SMELLZ IT
• 
  John, the star of groovy 60's sitcoms
• 
  The shrinks are in on the pussy
• 
  Oh, my monocle!
• 
  Can you spot the Brontosaurus?
• 
  John smells cock.
• 
  Just passing by, smelled pussy
• 
  Johnnie lieks to sniff
• 
  Bitches know NOW!
• 
  My spidey nostrils are tingling
• 
  Verily, I smelleth pussy.
• 
  ...shoop da floof?

John's contemporaries talk about him...

	“	John was a former drug-addict back in 1977 when he joined.	„
	—Ex-OSA sauce

	“	I remember John fondly as a nice guy, not insane or anything but this video clearly proves he has lost his marbles and is just another mental casualty of the movement.	„
	—Ex-OSA sauce

	“	Honestly, I don't think John is interested in girls, I think he might be interested in BECOMING ONE but dating/fucking one? I very much doubt that.	„
	—Ex-OSA sauce

	“	I don't think he (John) is attracted to girls, although he MIGHT want to become one some day.	„
	—Ex-OSA sauce

	“	I know for a fact he (John) has had a number of gay love affairs prior to joining the movement, not sure if he (John) is continuing these fascinations though to their conclusion. He is married AFAIK but that could be a facade to hide his obvious homosexuality.	„
	—Ex-OSA sauce

	“	[John is] living off welfare (which is possibly against the law, since his wife is rich).	„
	—Ex-OSA sauce

External Links

• John Carmichael's FULL DOX

John Carmichael is part of a series on Scientology

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LOL TECH: Dianetics • Disconnection • Child abuse • Saint Hill • Scientology's History of the Universe • Sec Check • Freewinds • Sea Org • Glossary • Religious Freedom Watch • Volunteer Ministers • OSA • Space Opera SCILONS: L. Ron Hubbard • David Miscarriage • Tom Cruise • Scientology Agents • Tommy Davis • Rogues Gallery • Suri Cruise • Terryeo • Heaven's Gate • The Regime • Evil Jacket Guy • Joe Feshbach • VaLLarrr • Tom Newton • John Carmichael • Freezone • Captain Bill Robertson • Danny Masterson • Will Smith • Oschaper • Kendrick Moxon • Tim Armer • Jorge Serrano • Ron Savelo • John Travolta • Jett Travolta NOTORIOUS SPs: Anonymous • Wise Beard Man • Jason Beghe • Gas Mask Girl • Magoo • New Zealand Fail Guy • Message from Scientology • Shawn Lonsdale • Rorschach • Moralfags • Leaderfags • Raidfag Wench • James Packer • Leah Remini • Epic Nose Guy • Stu Wyatt • Tommy Gorman • The Unknown Autobot • Psychiatrists • Marcab Confederacy • David Wu-Kapauw • Epic Sword Guy • Agent Pubeit ENTURBULULZ: PROJECT CHANOLOGY • Why We Protest Forums • A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan • The Geterator • Neil Gaiman's Sandman • Paul "Fetch" Carnes • ReligionIsFree.org • You Found the Card • /i/ • alt.religion.scientology • Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX • 888chan (/td/)