Ancestry.com

This page relies entirely on facts. Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings. Sorry for the lack of dick jokes.

Ancestry.com is a half-assed website, dedicated to helping retards find out more about their family. Usually found on commercials or Google ADs, Ancestry.com will let you look into historic files of all around the world to see how pathetic your family REALLY is. (As long as you're doing it for 3 months/a year and have 24.95$, of course.) Not only does this shit let you find out more about your family, but you can share your family tree with others. Thats right, Old Barbra will get the publicity she deserves. So, basically, this site is stealing your money to give you information while also letting you put pictures and info of your family on your minuscule tree so your friends (if you have any) can see your mom having sex with OJ Simpson in an attempt to make it a new social-networking site.

History

At first, Ancestry.com was a book publisher that started around 1983, taking on the name "Ancestry Publishing Company". At the time, the company published books about families, books looking at your families family , books talking about how to learn more about your family, and other SHIT NOBODY CARES ABOUT. Later in 1995, APC decided that it would be a cool idea to make a website called Ancestry.com. A year after, they ejaculated this rotten seed into the slutty-vagina we know as the internet. In 1999, they (obviously) stole shit from Apple to create the first software to allow different users to contribute to one family tree evar. Ancestry then added more and more pix to their website to make is seem less shitty. A year after starting their quest for a less dull website, they achieved adding their 1 billionth picture to the site. Since then, they have been adding expansions of their site for different parts of the net. (2002 for Brits, and 2006 for Canadians and Australians.)

Subscription

To actually find any information about where your family came from, you'll have to fork over some moolah, otherwise you'll be stuck with adding pictures and information on your family that nobody will ever read. Ever.

After an initial free trial period of two weeks in which all the advantages of a paid subscription (like access to dox and such from census and immigration records) are available to you in the hope that'll you'll get hopelessly addicted to building your family tree, Ancestry.com will automatically start billing the credit card you plunked down upon registration.

This kind of sneaky Jew Gold-grubbing chicanery is not unique to Ancestry.com but is especially dangerous considering the addictive nature of the site and the fact that people are generally too lazy to check their credit card statements every month much less get tied up on the phone all day in automated dialling system hell and jump through the seemingly endless hoops of fire necessary to opting out and getting a credit for the chunk of change they just billed you for behind your back.

These subscriptions come at a modest price of $350 a year (If you plan on only learning about your family's history in other countries. But who would want to learn about what their parents did in America?)

List of people who use Ancestry.com

• People who want to learn about their family
• People who try to learn about their family
• People who fail to learn about their family
• Your mom
• Jews
• You

See Also

• History
• Old people

External links

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