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Longcat

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Argonz at 18:21, 6 May 2016. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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A looong cat is fine too.
Another pic of Shiroi (Longcat). Isn't she adorable?
 This article needs moar long.
You can help by adding moar long.

One day, there was a picture of a cat. It was not Caturday but this specific cat was so long it became a meme and, though the day was not specifically the day of cats, this cat's length became famous. Originally derived from an image posted on 2chan sometime between 2004 to 2005, it is a sacred meme that embodies the spirit of the lulz, and has touched the hearts of every anon and /b/tard on the internets. All attempts made by faggots who desire to steal it from anon have earned the swift, unmerciful wrath of the Internet Hate Machine.

Longcat is a real cat (obviously). For some reason when Longcat's uninspired owners named him, they must have overlooked the extremely fucking huge length of the kitten, and they named her after her second most defining feature. Therefore Longcat's real name is Shiroi (白い), which means "white" in Japanese. This may, however, be an azn mind game to confuse black people who believe they are the longest members of the human species.

The legend

Behold, the end of all that we know and love. The Marcab Confederacy's Deathstar Longcat.
An accurate depiction.


Longcat did WTC
Obey the Longcat

Noone knows how long Longcat actually is. The figure above gives an estimated length of 10,000 ft, however this number has been verified by science. The most successful space mission to measure Longcat had to turn back and recharge their lasers after just 9000 feet and one inch in the air.

Possible Origin

There is a quote by Einstein that may have been the source of inspiration for this meme:

   
“ 		 
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
  		„
  		 

—Albert Einstein

The prophecy

It has been prophesied that during Catnarok Longcat will do epic battle with Tacgnol for the fate of the universe.

It is said that Longcat is part of a fursome of powerful cats that, when brought together, shall restore peace and harmony throughout the land.

   
“ 		 
There shall be Four. One of Air, his fur white as snow. His power shall enlighten the masses, and herald the beginning. The second of Earth, black as the night. The darkness will be overwhelming, but do not fear! He has come as a harbinger of the goodness to come. The thrice appearance of a creature of great length, this one coloured as though wrapped in the very flame it represents, will appear to assuade our fears of the nigh end.Though it will be met with hate and loathing, it shall soldier on to aid us. The final, the fourth, shall emerge from the great oceans as though it was born of them, joining it's brothers and spreading harmony as it walks.

Together, the Four Felines will combine their great power, and summon a fifth, a creature of pure heart, radiant and beautiful. He, mighty and virile, will open the soul of all followers, and lead them to the land of ultimate delight. Never again will people have to buy dogs or get in their cars! No more will innocent yellow vans tremble at the approaching horde! The fruit of our reptilian labors will come, and feline power shall rule to cosmos!
 

„
  		 

—Raptor Jesus

TL;DR

The Longcat family

Moar family?!

The Longcat remix

Shortcat is closely related to Longcat, but what of his other family members? Recently a DNA test confirmed that Longcat is blood-related to the bastardized Shatcat

It is also a well known fact that Binkers is son of longcat.

Longcat facts

  • Many new users speculate that Longcat cat is not lengthy, but it is in fact long.
  • Longcat and Speedycat are not just dating but have actually had an offspring named Splongcat.
  • Longcat is the longest substance known to man.

[-+] ASCII Longcat


For your flooding pleasure. 

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   | THE   |
   | GAME  |
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   |       |
   /        \
  /   ____   \
  |  /    \  |
  | |      | |
 /  |      |  \
 \__/      \__/

[-+] Pouya's longcat generator


Screencap

[Real-time HTML Editor – JSFiddle] 

<!--

   Modified version of:
   http://web.archive.org/web/20070310195813/http://lepouya.com/dhtml/longcat.html

-->

<head><title>Pouya's longcat generator</title></head>
    <body>
    <form id="catform" name="catform" action="#">
        <table border="1" align="center">
        <thead>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                <font size="5">Pouya's longcat generator</font>
            </td></tr>
        </thead>
        <tbody>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                How long is longcat? <input type="text" name="lentext" id="lentext" size="8" value="1" onchange="generate();"/>
                <input type="submit" name="go" id="go" value="Go!" onclick="generate(); return false;" onsubmit="generate(); return false;"/>
            </td></tr>
            <tr><td colspan="2" align="center">
                <div id="res" name="res" style="width: 100%; text-align: left;">
                </div>
            </td></tr>
        </tbody>
        </table>
    </form>
    <script language="javascript">
        function generate()
        {
            var olentext = document.getElementById("lentext");
            var ores = document.getElementById("res");
            var l = Math.round(olentext.value), i;
            var res = "<pre>";
            res = res + "           /\\___/\\\n";
            res = res + "          /       \\\n";
            res = res + "         |  #    # |\n";
            res = res + "         \\     @   |\n";
            res = res + "          \\   _|_ /\n";
            res = res + "          /       \\_____\n";
            res = res + "         / _______ ___   \\\n";
            res = res + "        |______   \\   \\__/\n";
            res = res + "          |    \\__/\n";
            res = res + "          |       |\n";
            for (i=0; i<l; i++)
            res = res + "          |       |\n";
            res = res + "          /        \\\n";
            res = res + "         /   ____   \\\n";
            res = res + "         |  /    \\  |\n";
            res = res + "         | |      | |\n";
            res = res + "        /  |      |  \\\n";
            res = res + "        \\__/      \\__/\n";
                           ores.innerHTML = res + "</pre>"
        }
        generate();
    </script>
    </body>
</html>

Longcat is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Longcat in its natural habitatz.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

IRL Longcat

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Longcat in a dark cave


YouTuber confused about the care of Longcats (Tacgnols in this case)

The following video contains a nerd

Gallery

Longallery is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong About missing Pics
  • More RULE 3rty 4our
    More RULE 3rty 4our
  • Even Halloween is not safe
    Even Halloween is not safe
  • Longcat be of great length!
    Longcat be of great length!
  • Epic Longcat on Freerepublic.com
    Epic Longcat on Freerepublic.com
  • Longcat is your god
    Longcat is your god
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

External Links


Longcat is part of a series on

Memes

Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

Longcat is part of a series on Internet Cats

A Cat Is Fine Too • Almost-Chan • Arguecat • Arrow Cats • Basement Cat • Berry And Friends • Bikecat • Bincat • Binkers • Bonsai Kitten • Bukkake Milk • Burger • Business Cat • Cat in Microwave • Cat on a keyboard in space • Catnarok • Caturday • Ceiling Cat • Chase 'No Face' • Colonel Meow • Covercat • Dangerous Kitten • Death Cat • Dodge Cat • Drillcat • Emo Cat • Fishing Cat • FLOATERCAT • Frinkle • Garfield • Grumpy Cat • Happycat • Hipster Kitty • If it fits I sits • Inception Cat • Jarcat • Jewcat • JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR! • Keyboard Cat • Kitler • Lasercat • Lenincat • Lil Bub • Limecat • Lioncash Longcat • Maru • Monorail Cat • Mutant Cats • Nyan Cat • Octocat • Orvillecopter • Peter • Poko Ono • Pusheen • Scuba • Secret Kitty Club • Serious Cat • Shironeko • Shocked and Appalled Cat • Shortcat • Shotacat • Silencer Cat • Spaghetti Cat • Speedycat • Stalking Cat • Standing Cat • Starecat • Stalking Cat • Stubbs the mayorcat • Tacgnol • That Fucking Cat • Trollcats • Tubcat • Tulip • Weathercat • Wisdom Cat • YOUR CAT • Zippocat

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