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Cascade Mall Massacre

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>AlGore at 15:02, 24 September 2016. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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BREAKING NEWS!!
The shooter is still at large!!!1
Sam Hyde
Nationality: Americunt  
Highscore Killed 5, injured ?
Top 25? Not even close
Style Single player
An Hero? Sadly, no


After pulling of several other mass shootings and getting away with it, Sam Hyde is back again to attempt to reach the High Score. Stationed in Seattle, Washington, Sam has tried to recreate Robert Hawkins' 2007 chimpout in which he killed 8. Sadly, Sam only managed 5 frags, but was able to escape the mall and is currently on the loose - again. It is believed the media, government, and police are covering this up so Sam can escape. They do this because Sam is an agent of the Gun Lobby and Military Industrial Complex; after any Mass Shooting, firearms sales absolutely skyrocket, bringing in big bucks for these businesses. If you see anyone looking like Sam Hyde, it is recommended that you conduct a citizen's arrest at once, even by gunpoint if need be. Bring this madman to justice!


High Score Template

Graded score
Kill count: 5/20
Accuracy: 15/20
Style: 12/20 Generic
Butthurt: 12/20 Mass Shootings happen every 3 seconds. Nobody cares.
Bonus: 15/20 Escaping the Mall, surviving 3 star level for more than 6 minutes
Total score: 59/100 (F+)
Rating: Mass Murderer
See full ranking

Wanted Level:
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Vice Squad


See Also

External Links

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