LARGEPOSTING

Original:

2017 IS THE YEAR OF LARGEPOSTS

ITS EASY JUST HIT THE CAPS KEY AND NOW YOU'RE NOT A SMALLPOSTING CUCK ANYMORE. IF YOU DON'T TYPE IN CAPS YOU'RE A CUCK. EVERYONE WHO IS NOT A CUCK NEEDS TO LARGEPOST NOW.

SMALL POSTS = SMALL DICK

So Cash version

HEY SMALLPOSTERS,

MY NAME IS JOHN, AND I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. ALL OF YOU ARE FAT, RETARDED, NO-LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF THEIR DAY SMALLPOSTING. YOU ARE EVERYTHING BAD IN THE WORLD. HONESTLY, HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER GOTTEN ANY PUSSY? I MEAN, I GUESS IT'S FUN MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN INSECURITIES, BUT YOU ALL TAKE TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN JERKING OFF TO PICTURES ON FACEBOOK.

DON'T BE A STRANGER. JUST HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT. I'M PRETTY MUCH PERFECT. I WAS CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM, AND STARTER ON MY BASKETBALL TEAM. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, OTHER THAN "SMALLPOSTING"? I ALSO GET STRAIGHT A'S, AND HAVE A BANGING HOT GIRLFRIEND (SHE JUST BLEW ME; SHIT WAS SO CASH). YOU ARE ALL SMALLPOSTER FAGGOTS WHO SHOULD JUST KILL YOURSELVES. THANKS FOR LISTENING.

PIC RELATED: IT'S ME AND MY BITCH

Gorilla Warfare version

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SMALLPOSTERS JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME, YOU LITTLE SMALL POSTING BITCH? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED LARGEST POSTED OF MY CLASS IN THE NAVY SEALS, AND IVE BEEN INVOLVED IN NUMEROUS SECRET RAIDS ON SMALLPOSTERS, AND I HAVE OVER 300 CONFIRMED KILLS ON SMALLPOSTERS. I AM TRAINED IN GORILLA WARFARE AND IM THE LARGEST POSTER IN THE ENTIRE US ARMED FORCES. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT JUST ANOTHER SMALLPOSTING TARGET. I WILL WIPE YOU SMALLPOSTERS THE FUCK OUT WITH PRECISION THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE ON THIS EARTH, MARK MY FUCKING WORDS. YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SMALLPOSTING TO ME OVER THE INTERNET? THINK AGAIN, FUCKER. AS WE SPEAK I AM CONTACTING MY SECRET LARGEPOSTING NETWORK OF LARGEPOSTERS ACROSS THE USA AND YOUR IP IS BEING TRACED RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER PREPARE FOR THE STORM, MAGGOT. THE STORM THAT WIPES OUT THE PATHETIC LITTLE THING YOU CALL YOUR SMALLPOSTED LIFE. YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, SMALLPOSTER. I CAN BE ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, AND I CAN KILL YOU IN OVER SEVEN HUNDRED WAYS, AND THAT'S JUST WITH MY BARE HANDS. NOT ONLY AM I EXTENSIVELY TRAINED IN UNARMED COMBAT, BUT I HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE ARSENAL OF THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS AND I WILL USE IT TO ITS FULL EXTENT TO WIPE YOUR MISERABLE ASS OFF THE FACE OF THE CONTINENT, YOU SMALLPOSTING SHIT. IF ONLY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT UNHOLY RETRIBUTION YOUR "LITTLE COMMENT" WAS ABOUT TO BRING DOWN UPON YOU, MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE HELD YOUR FUCKING TONGUE. BUT YOU COULDNT, YOU DIDNT, AND NOW YOURE PAYING THE PRICE, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT. I WILL SHIT FURY ALL OVER YOU AND YOU WILL DROWN IN IT. YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, SMALLPOSTER.

Bel-air version

NOW, THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW MY LIFE GOT FLIPPED-TURNED UPSIDE DOWN AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE JUST SIT RIGHT THERE I'LL TELL YOU HOW I BECAME THE PRINCE OF POSTING BIG

IN WEST PHILADELPHIA BORN AND RAISED ON THE PLAYGROUND WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS CHILLIN' OUT MAXIN' RELAXIN' ALL COOL AND ALL SHOOTIN SOME B-BALL OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL WHEN A COUPLE OF SMALLPOSTERS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD STARTIN MAKING TROUBLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT AND MY MOM GOT SCARED AND SAID 'YOU'RE MOVIN' WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL AIR'

I BEGGED AND PLEADED WITH HER DAY AFTER DAY BUT SHE PACKED MY SUITCASE AND SEND ME ON MY WAY SHE GAVE ME A KISS AND THEN SHE GAVE ME MY TICKET. I PUT MY WALKMAN ON AND SAID, 'I MIGHT AS WELL KICK IT'.

FIRST CLASS, YO THIS IS BAD DRINKING ORANGE JUICE OUT OF A CHAMPAGNE GLASS. IS THIS WHAT THE LARGEPOSTE OF BEL-AIR LIVING LIKE? HMMMMM THIS MIGHT BE ALRIGHT.

BUT WAIT I HEAR THERE'RE PRISSY, BOURGEOIS AND ALL THAT IS THIS THE TYPE OF PLACE THAT THEY SHOULD SEND THIS COOL CAT? I DON'T THINK SO I'LL SEE WHEN I GET THERE I HOPE THEY'RE PREPARED FOR THE LARGEPOSTER

WELL, THE PLANE LANDED AND WHEN I CAME OUT THERE WAS A DUDE WHO LOOKED LIKE A COP STANDING THERE WITH MY NAME OUT I AIN'T TRYING TO GET ARRESTED YET I JUST GOT HERE I SPRANG WITH THE QUICKNESS LIKE LIGHTNING, DISAPPEARED

I WHISTLED FOR A CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR THE LICENSE PLATE SAID 'BIG' AND IT HAD DICE IN THE MIRROR IF ANYTHING I CAN SAY THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE BUT I THOUGHT 'NAH FORGET IT' - 'YO HOMES TO BEL AIR'

I PULLED UP TO THE HOUSE ABOUT 7 OR 8 AND I YELLED TO THE CABBIE 'YO HOMES SMELL YA LATER' I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM I WAS FINALLY THERE TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE LARGEPOSTER

See also

• So cash/variations
• Bel-air
• Copypasta