Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/October 1, 2014

Hauntings

A haunting is a spooky occurrence that happens when someone has been trolled so severely that even in death they linger in the form of a ghost. The cause of most hauntings are fishing line, creaky houses, and not calling a plumber when your pipes are fucked. Fortunately for gullible donglords the lack of any actual ghostly presence doesn't disqualify a place from being haunted. Merely by believing that a dead person is floating around watching them masturbate is sufficient to claim they are being visited by the other side. Appropriately, the people most likely to find themselves haunted are skiddish white people who never stopped believing in imaginary friends and superstitious third world nignogs.

Occasionally an actual haunting will develop and promptly scare the shit out of anyone unfortunate enough to have to witness its large menagerie of physics defying ghost douchebaggery. Depending on the type of manifestations plaguing these unlucky assholes they can look forward to disembodied voices, sentient shadows, residual weeping, self propelled objects, self-rearranging chairs, and if particularly fucked, physical attacks. Considered by ghost experts to be a form of reverse trolling these activities are the result of a spirit that has realized he or she is dead and therefore can't be bothered to give anymore fucks. Typically these ghosts spend all their energy being an annoyance at worst. Excited for your morning jog? Let's see how excited you are to go dick around in the park after witnessing a floating translucent woman crying in your living room every morning.

(( DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT ))

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