Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/December 18, 2014
Aquaphilia is a perversion that infests the brains of sexual deviants, mainly those of gays and school swimming coaches. Not to be confused with watersports, it's basically a fetish for having oneself submerged in water and seeing others underwater. It also draws connections to other paraphilias and has a slew of unique side interests of its own.
If you're having fun at the beach or in a public pool, be on the lookout for a sick fuck who appears overly fixated on you while you're enjoying one or more of the following activities:
- Seeing how long you can stay underwater for.
- Having an underwater breath holding contest with another person.
- Playfully dunking your friend underwater, or being dunked under by others.
- Swimming or surfing in a speedo or wetsuit.
- Swimming or diving while wearing goggles, flippers, or other diving gear.
- Sunbathing in a speedo or similar swimwear.
- Pool wrestling.
- Skinny dipping at the lake.
- Swimming underwater laps at the Y.
- Taking a bath while leaving the curtains open.
- Performing sexual acts in an apartment complex hot tub after they lock the gates for the night.
Like all other sexually-themed mental diseases, it goes far and beyond the list above, all the way from drowning yourself for sport to turning your favorite balloon animal into an inflato-date. And of course the aquaphiliac "art" galleries aren't complete without participation from the furries, bronies, and scalies.
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