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Jordan Peterson

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>MassDeport at 18:06, 6 April 2018. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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Beginning

In the nation of Soviet Canuckistan there arose a man.

Native Indian folklore told of his coming. Some tribes called him Nanabozho or Glooscap. Other tribes called him that guy from the U of T.

The Soviet Canuckistani army at first tried poisoning him - to no ill effect. Then they shot him - three times. Then they dumped his body into the Niva river. But he arose, shouting, "There are only two genders!"

File:Jordan Peterson.jpg
A bearded Jordan Peterson

His Books

The works of Jordan Peterson are long and immense. They are filled with how when he was a kid he feared the real Soviet Union would find out about Soviet Canuckistan and crush it from above somehow and then, growing older, he realized that there were only two genders.

The Vain One

Through dedication and hard work he became a university professor lecturing tirelessly about how there are only two genders.

But then the Vain One arose and began to mess with the fact that there are only two genders.

The Vain One is a giant demon, frozen mid-breast in ice at the center of Hell. He has three faces and a pair of bat-like wings affixed under each chin. As he beats his wings, he creates a cold wind that continues to freeze the ice surrounding him but as he beats his wings he creates more and more genders.

And that really pisses Jordan Peterson off.

File:Trudeau.jpg
The Vain One in human form

Achievements

Jordan Peterson is now one of the most famous people in the world for taking the 72 different genders and reducing them down to 2.

File:Genders.jpg
This was been rendered obsolete by Peterson's work.