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User:Jakery

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Every Thursday I pay a woman $500 to beat the shit out of me.

Things I endorse

  1. Getting blown by a wolf
  2. Marble Madness
  3. Hooking Michael J. Fox up to a generator during peak demand
  4. Forcing all Asians to reveal their Special Abilities and superpowers
  5. Erections lasting longer than four hours
  6. Hyperinflation
  7. Telling a woman, "I'm gonna wear your cunt as a hat."
  8. Unlicensed Tengen cartridges for NES
  9. Rush Limbaugh going deaf
  10. American beer that isn't total shit; usually known as "Craft Beer"
  11. White Russians
  12. Phil Hendrie
  13. IRL Trolling
  14. Legalizing Marijuana
  15. Harry Potter fan fiction where Harry gets violated by Hagrid
  16. Harry Potter fan fiction where Harry gets violated by Viktor Krum
  17. Adding peanut butter to everything
  18. Putting shit on a piece of paper and mailing it to college in lieu of an admissions essay
  19. Mutual rape
  20. Not paying for Adobe Photoshop
  21. Activision diluting and wrecking every video game franchise it touches
  22. Shampooing your crotch
  23. Every second of Borderlands prior to the absolute bullshit ending
  24. Explosive Diarrhea
  25. Pegging
  26. Teledildonics
  27. Seth MacFarlane getting horse-fucked, a la Mr. Hands
  28. Michael Moore trolling Fred Phelps with a bus of fags
  29. Original Playstation
  30. Not buying bottled water, ever
  31. Portal 1 and 2
  32. 16-bit, tile-based video games
  33. All of the "you deserved it" posts on Fuck My Life
  34. Bitch Cake with Butt Frosting
  35. FIFA 12
  36. Using deli ham as currency
  37. Local pizza chains; Pizza Hut can suck my dick
  38. Pedestrian Bowling
  39. Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
  40. Milk Duds
  41. Ving Rhames' head as a subliminal advertisement for Milk Duds
  42. Cars that drive themselves
  43. Every phrase delivered by R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket
  44. Punching your girlfriend's butthole while going down on her for the first time. Women love that shit.
  45. Having sex with a virgin to cure your AIDS (note: only works in Africa)
  46. Feeding oxygen into your urethra, thus inflating your scrotum so kids will think it's a balloon
  47. The elusive Cyclops Tit
  48. Power pouches
  49. Railroads
  50. Wearing nothing from the waist down while working as a bank teller
  51. Braided pubes
  52. Going ass-to-ass with a stale baguette

Famous People Named 'Jackson'

Profession Significance
Michael Pederast Voluntarily changes skin color
Jesse Reverend Has love child; failed to be president
Janet Performing Artist Shocked the world when she flashed her mutilated tit
Andrew President Told the Indians where they could stick their peace offering
Bo Athlete Wrecked his body by playing two sports. Fucking asshole, he deserved it
Phil NBA Coach Exiled from Chicago; Coached Kobe "Hot Beef Injection" Bryant
Stonewall War criminal Shot United States soldiers
Reggie Athlete First negro ever to play baseball
Samuel L Motherfucker Vocally sodomizes the world
Peter Hairy idiot Makes movies that never end
Miss Babymamma Knocked up by Andre 3000
Shoeless Joe Baseball Permab& Respawned in corn field as Ray Liotta
O'Shea Ice cube Star of "Barbershop 2: Back in Business"
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