Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Jürgen Conings

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>TabbyGarf at 23:08, 7 June 2021. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Hey! This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster.
You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages.
See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us!
Jürgen Conings
Nationality: Flemish  
High Score Sadly, nothing yet
Style Hide and seek
An Hero? Not yet
Title Caporal
Motive COVID-19
Aliases
  • Belgian Rambo
  • Waldo
  • Aryan Rebel


   
“ 		 
You have trained me to become the person I am today, now I'm going to use it against you.
Jullie hebben me getraind om te worden wie ik ben, ik ga dat nu tegen jullie gebruiken.
  		„
  		 

—Jürgen, on his third goodbye letter addressed to the Belgian Army

Jürgen Conings is an alt-right Belgian Air Force corporal (previously a security guard) which is trying to steal the world record for "best Hide and Seek player" in Europe, first place being Anne Frank. Jürgen is the subject to a relentless manhunt by a total of 400 Belgian units, helped by German, Dutch and Luxembourger seeking squads. Much like Chris Dorner he is doing his best to not get cornered.

He was a sniper elite that got "demoted" to the rank of armorer and firing instructor, which meant he got the keys of a fucking weapon depot after being put on a potential alt-right terrorist watchlist, proving that the Belgian Army is directed by competent and smart people.

Before the Game

Before he went hiding, he left a manifesto in the form of three letters destined to the State, to the Virologists, and to the Army. In his manifesto, he threatened to attack the current regime and virologists.

He left home, went off the grid, and hid under the cloak of the night on Monday, May 17th 2020. Shortly after, he was sighted around the house of the virologist Marc van Ranst for 2 hours.

Game Timeline

The search begun the next day, the seekers are Team Special Unit and Team Limburg Police. A report indicated that he is probably armed.

May

An abandoned Audi was found containing FOUR ANTI-TANK ROCKET LAUNCHERS, weapons with ammo ; closing the nearby mosques and parks.

Team Germany, Team Luxemburg and Team Netherlands joined the Seekers team. Totaling the number of players to ≈600 seekers.

Gunshots were heard at the Haute Campine park:

A federal case has been opened for "attempted murder and forbidden detention of weapon in a terrorist context".

  • Later, the army also did a separate case to investigate, but they fucked up and now another group is investigating the army's case

It has been proven that the aforementioned Audi got trapped with a grenade trap. Also, they started pulling out the tanks. Man, it would be useful if he had some kind of projectile launcher to help him...

His house got raided and it has been discovered that he left his army decorations on his parents' grave.
Nothing else happened much except that he's officially searched by Interpol and that the park reopened.

Around 200 people marched in support of the fugitive, saying there is "no right to kill".
Someone snitched by saying they saw Jurgen at the Brussels-North Station, causing a closure of the railway traffic nearby: the search happened and our hero was nowhere to be found.
A french fag ex-mil tried to imitate our Belgian Rambo but couldn't stay hidden for more than 5 days lol

Facebook started closing Jürgen's account and the support groups for "supporting a terrorist".

June

Nothing much happened yet, no trace of him even though they did search the entire east of the Limburg province.
They discovered they are an actual member of the Vlaams Belang political party.

Online

After he went missing, people showed their support for Conings using the #jurgenconings and #jurgenlivesmatter hashtags on Twitter and including the group "United for Jürgen" on Facebook, the latter being administrated by the VP of the Flemish equivalent of the Hitler Youth (Vlaams Belang Jongeren Lier)

Statistics

Graded score
Kills: 00/20*
Accuracy: 00/20*
Style: 07/20 Good hiding spots, proving the incompetence of the Belgian Army
Butthurt: 08/20 Bonus for closing mosques and entire parks
Bonus: 14/20 "Aryan Rebel"
Total score: 39/100 (D)*

See full ranking
*Seeing as the event isn't done, we will add the appropriate score later if he happens to kill someone

Loadout
Primary FN P90 High-fire, low recoil, reliable weapon using 5.7mm.
Bonus Damage: 5.7mm ammunition is able to pierce through Kevlar.
Secondary FN Five-seveN Complimentary 5.7mm pistol. Small but dangerous.
Loadout Combo: Both Primary and Secondary share the same ammunition. No hassle.
Special Anti-Tank Rocket Launcher Portable, reusable, unguided, shoulder-launched, anti-tank rocket-propelled grenade launcher.
Kabooms ensues.
Perk 1 Lightweight Pro Move 7% faster.
Pro: Quicker aiming after sprinting.
Perk 2 Dead Slience Quieter movement.
Halves Recon duration.
Perk 3 Sleight of Hand Pro Faster reloading.
Pro: Faster aiming down sight.

Wanted Level:

Interpol

Retrieved from "http://edramatica.com/index.php?title=Jürgen_Conings&oldid=43656"