Comedy Central

Comedy Central is, as opposed to what its name suggests, the most unfunny television network ever. It consists of The Daily Show, South Park, The Colbert Report, nine-hour marathons of Mad TV, moar parody news programs than you can shake a dick at, and on the weekends, more BF-list movies than you could ever imagine. The only reason anybody watches the channel is to catch the new episodes of South Park and Futurama only to be found in the afternoon. Bad comedy movies and failed shows such as Too Late with Adam Carolla clog the airwaves with pestilence, boredom, and death. The only other show which made Comedy Central less unbearable to watch were reruns of Family Guy, but the station heads, in a true display of their infinite wisdom, decided to stop airing it.

Current Comedy Central Line-Up

DEE DEE DEE! DEE DEE DEE! BEANER! DEE DEE DEE! WETBACKS! DEE DEE DEE!

7:00 AM: Hours and hours of Mad TV reruns.
9:00 AM: 3 solid hours of very bad amateur standup comedians.
12:00 PM That movie you thought about seeing, but then you realize it's not going to be good on cable because of the edits.
4:00 PM: Scrubs (The same four episodes played everyday, all day.)
5:00 PM: The Daily Show (Leftard jokes and a boring interview.)
6:00 PM: The Colbert Report (Half-hour of the most lulzworthy, blatant satire on TV)
7:00 PM: Scrubs (A half-hour of forced memes and butt secks)
9:00 PM: Futurama (Either one of the Bender episodes or the alien episodes)
9:30 PM: South Park (Either one of the fart-joke ridden episodes or the preachy episodes. Wait a minute, isn't that all South Park is?)
10:00 PM: tosh.0/Reno 911!/New episodes of South Park (an unfunny look at Internets/Police/Childhood).
2:00 AM: Nothing but 5 solid hours of Girls Gone Wild commercials. (The Colbert Report likes to claim they have cooking product ads on, but it's always Girls Gone Wild. No other network airs these, either.)

The Secret Stash

Comedy Central's Secret Stash can't show live-action nudity, but it CAN show you cartoon nudity.

The Comedy Central Secret Stash is basically Comedy Central playing stolen HBO specials, such as Eddie Murphy Raw, which is extremely dated and hardly funny, and the uncut version of Not Another Teen Movie aired very late at night. They only thing different is they can say words like "fuck" after 1 AM Sunday morning.

Once in a while you get to see a series of Dave Chappelle reruns of his standup, and his former wildly successful Chappelle's Show (which is ironic, since Viacom and their boys ran Chappelle out of the country and into Africa, for reasons only the Kennedy Assassination could answer). But for the most part, most Secret Stash shows are Chappelle reruns, below-average comedians who should have never gotten any HBO special, National Lampoon movies, Drawn Together mini-marathons and Girls Gone Wild ads.

Video Games

Believe it or not, Drawn Together has a Gloom map made for it.

Gallery

Obviously not from the Secret Stash because the penis is blurred out.
Ironically, the VP of Comedy Central is the creator of Drawn Together, Mr. Jew Producer.
Comedy Central knows you like to see niggers in chains!
They also know you like your niggers naked.
MOAR naked niggers!
He's not Rick James anymore, bitch!
Carlos Menica tries to be funny.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is serious business.
Drawn Together Season 1 was mainly lesbian jokes.
Season 2 was mainly gay jokes.
Season 3 had just about every sex joke you can think of.
Why?