Jackal
—Christopher Banks | ||
Jackal (Power word: Christopher Michael Banks) is a beekeeping moralfag and the current Five Star General of Anonymous. Like all [Kim_Jong_Il|grorious readers] of Anonymous, Jackal went through the [partyvan|super secret initiation process] not once, but twice. The former leader, Sabu told all the gullible bees of #antisec that Jackal's [v&|ascent] had to [Pedophile|be kept a secret for some unknowable reason].
Before Anonymous
Jackal, like most aspiring anarchist types, had the typical wife and 3 kids, held down a 6 figure job, and in general had the life of a NORP until he saw the light, got a divorce, torched the house and 3 cars mid-divorce (Or so he told everyone in #antisec, possibly in some bid to [tryhard|fit in]), hooked up with a wanna-be porn actress and slut in Colorado, and rebooted his life as a black bloc hooligan who likes a bit of the old ultraviolence. In short, he traded the American Dream for a life of endless mediocrity, and somehow thinks he is a better person for it.
CabinCr3w and Anonymous
Like [Faggot|Sabu] before him, Jackal's never actually done anything except dick ride off the work of others for e-fame, like some internet version of a welfare recipient. He somehow positioned himself as a leader of CabinCr3w, despite the fact that w0rmer (Who went down like a bawws without giving the feds anything useful on anyone) and Kahuna (Who is suspected of squealing like a bitch) did all the real work of [lame|doxing politicians whose info is public] and [script kiddie| dumping databases and posted them on the internet].
As with all Anonymous leaders before him, all comrades of the legion must funnel dox and hacks through him, so that he may [snitch|assign the proper credit] and famewhore it as his own work. All comrades are also expected to answer to him without question, lest they be ruined by his Personal_army of bored, horny teenagers. Especially obedient subjects may be permitted to have API keys to YourAnonNews, so long as they only tweet harmonous and relevant messages.
Like most Party Leaders, Jackal preaches the anti-capitalist ideal while and Emmi beg for jewgold on the internet, in an obvious attempt to cash out on their e-fame. people have called them on this bullshit, and their sorry excuses are still fun to read.
tl;r This dumb shit and everyone who drinks his Kool-Aid forgot to read [Anonymous#Message_to_New_Anon_From_Old_Anon|this important message from our sponsors] before going their Guy Fawkes masks at the local Halloween store.
Emmi
Emmi (Power word: Amelia Hale Cohen) is Jackal's [BDSM|submissive] little jewess and general purpose [slut|cum dumpster]. She likes to [whore|fuck her future tattoo artist] in exchange for him applying a carbon copy of a tattoo outline on a different arm every 2-3 days, so that she can look like one of the cool kids on Twitter.
She is also a butterface, to the point that she has to wear a Guy Fawkes mask in order to make herself more fappable. Except that her saggier than normal tits ruin it all.
e-war with Shm00ptheGod
Jackal is such a good doxer, that he can have other people do all the [nigra|slave] labor, and then talk up a storm like he is this master dox hacker that no one can defeat. That is, until Shm00ptheGod came along.
At first, Shm00p got Jackal's dox wrong because he found the wrong Christopher Michael Banks. With tips from actual anons and a touch of guidance from [doxbin|bros], the conclusion was reached that in order to find Jackal, Emmi would have to be found. This sounded like a challenge, since those same sources said that Jackal did such a good job of scrubbing her dox off the internet. As it turns out, Jackal did such a fine job that Emmi's dox were found after kicking her twitter handle into pipl.com, scrolling down halfway, and following the clues for 2-3 pages. [Owned|Wham. Bam. Thank you, ma'am].
The grand irony of the situation is that before the dox were released, Jackal arrogantly went on VinceInTheBay and stated that Shm00p sucks at doxing ([No, srsly|http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vinceinthebay/2012/10/27/disorderly-conduct--free-ball-friday]), while Shm00p had been sitting on his dox for weeks, just waiting for the eve of a certain popular [Guy Fawkes Day|state-sponsored Anonymous holiday].