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This article is an Encyclopedia Dramatica exclusive. This article is only for the discriminating lulz connoisseur. If you have any exclusive drama to add, click here. |
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Background on the Syrian Conflict
Last Thursday about two years ago, a series of revolutions swept across the Middle East that were sparked after a fruit vendor named Mohamed Bouazizi became an hero by self immolating with gasoline after the mayor of a town refused to hear him bitch about how a 45 year old female municipal officer confiscated his electronic scales and kicked over his illegal fruit stand. Mohamed's last words were "How you expect me to make a living?" before he set himself on fire in the middle of noonday traffic. Since then, several governments have been toppled, though not much can be said since nothing has been accomplished other than Islamists of various levels of fanaticism and hunger for power have taken over numerous countries in the Middle East. The peaceful revolutions have only allowed moderate Muslims to take over through sheer numbers, and the violent revolutions, such as Libya have created situations that have allowed Al Qaeda affiliated groups to essentially take over. However, Bashar Al-Assad being the benevolent ruler decided that his citizens should have two choices in his country's great political discourse: stay at home or get filled with lead.
Normally the rest of the world doesn't give two shits about when minorities kill one another, whether it be in South America, Africa, the Middle East, or Asia. So why was Syria's case different since the country is only populated with at least fifty different hues of Muslim Sand Niggers? Well the reason is simple: Syria was interfering with Zionist plans to control the Middle East. Obviously this was a problem and there needed to be a remedy for this obstacle in the Zionist master plan.
The great irony of this is now there is some credibility to Bashar Al-Assad's claims that there is a foreign conspiracy at work to destroy his country and let it get taken over by the Syrian branch of Al-Qaeda.