Brogrammer

Chip Studley, at his office in Redmond

Brogrammers are manly men who make manly code. Windows 98 and all other bitchin' operating systems were all coded by the fat sausage-like fingers of a brogrammer. Why are there no girls on the internet?

1. Women are not smart enough to make code. This is common knowledge.
2. Women are happy to await the return of their baconmaker while happily making sammiches
3. The Bible explicitly states that the sole function of women is to serve the sexual and gastronomic needs of the brogrammer. It's right there in Genesis.

This brings up a reasonable question: why would women want to code? The answer is obvious: They don't, but feminists keep bringing it up, so we here at ED have to make an article on this crap.

Fundamental Character Traits

Yes ladies, you can get sloppy 94ths delivered with bot-like precision!

Brogrammers are only manly men, and since you are a virgin, here are quick tips on how to identify a Brogrammer:

• His desk will be full of Red Bull cans and there will be typical mainstream music playing in his speakers.
• He will usually be dressed with either a cool shirt (i.e. one that only a hipster would wear) or a shirt with a drinking joke. Sunglasses will never be missing, not even while working indoors at night.
• Facial hair is mandatory
• Don't you ever expect him to code well or to understand serious languages, all he'll do is poorly written Ruby in conjunction with Ruby on Rails, because that's "the cool language that cool people know".
• All brogrammers will have the popped collars and fat fingers that are needed for brogramming.

{quote|Silicon Valley, often held up as the shining future of the American economy, has had its luster tarnished of late by complaints of endemic male chauvinism and misogyny—what Mother Jones in April called the “brogrammer problem”. The problem isn’t new, but many in the industry were embarrassed by fresh examples such as the Klout ad that asked, “Wanna bro down and crush some code?” and the Path executive who bragged of winning a job by submitting pictures from a “nudie calendar” he’d created. If that’s the path to Silicon Valley stardom, critics reasoned, it’s no wonder that Newsweek’s list of the 100 most powerful people in tech was 92-percent male. |--we totally did not make that up}}

See Also

• In the kitchen
• Men's Rights Activist
• Politically correct
• Wimminz