Lemonade Mouth

Synposis

Disney created another high school musical, fun for the whole family, that tells young people everywhere a story about underdogs fighting for art, friendship, and family values by showing the lives of five privileged high school students. Our story begins in the manufactured wasteland of the American suburbs where teenagers who look like pop stars go to the cleanest and best-funded high school in existence. The school is run by Principal Asshole (Christopher McDonald) who, like any fine American principal, makes shady dealings with sinister corporations to get a new football field while sacrificing the art and science departments. He is also especially fond of patrolling the halls with his giant Segway while wearing a bicycle helmet, which makes him feel big and important.

Five misfit freshmen end up in detention in the school's spacey and well-lit basement and somehow end up forming a band with the lamest name of all time -- Lemonade Shit. Tumblr Slacktivist (Hayley Kiyoko) is the lead guitarist who galvanizes her cadres with her generic recalcitrants. Blond Bitch (Bridget Mendler) is the terrible singer whose voice can't reach across ten feet. New Asian Girl (Naomi Scott) is a classically trained violinist who magically becomes a bass in days. Walker Texas Ranger (Adam Hicks) plays basic keyboard music. Burnout Reefer (Blake Michael) is the generic long-haired weed-smoking drummer.

Each of the characters are well-fleshed out, revealing their full humanity and struggles. Tumblr Slacktivist is an Asian girl who refuses to play violin, cure cancer, and fuck Woody Allen. While her determined spirit is admirable it is shortcut by her sheer obnoxiousness. Blond Bitch lives with her deaf grandmother with Alzheimer's while her dad is a jail bird who hasn't seen a woman in years. New Asian Girl is the new middle class minority character who is bullied by her strict Indian family into fulfilling their unreasonable expectations. Walker Texas Ranger is a spoiled brat who is pissed his dad is marrying a hot gold digger. Burnout Reefer spends all his time smoking weed while resenting the fact he'll never be his perfect older brother.

As soon as the five misfits start their band Lemonade Shit, Principal Asshole rides up their butts with his Segway for daring to develop their creative talents in an educational establishment. He especially gets pissed off at Tumblr Slacktivist for wearing a "Question Authority" T-shirt, but everyone knows he really fantasizes about seeing her boobs underneath while being her sugar daddy. The band faces other foes as well, including Goofus (Ray Beech), leader of the rival band Rap Crap, and Scruffy Fedora (Nick Roux), his right-hand man. Lemonade Shit tells Principle Asshole to suck his giant Segway by performing at the Halloween Bash where everyone wears slutty costumes. Principle Asshole shuts them down and wags his fat finger at them the next day by threatening suspension, which no hot-blooded teenager would ever listen to.

The band finds a gig at Chuck E. Cheese's but fortunately disaster befalls them. Blond Bitch loses her old cat (who nobody cared about) and loses her mind by screaming at Walker Texas Ranger about some family bullshit. New Asian Girl is grounded by her Indian parents forever. Walker Texas Ranger gets a black eye by mishandling a family portrait. Burnout Reefer breaks his fingers while trying to get new drumsticks (weed). And Tumblr Slacktivist gets everyone in jail by trying to stage a protest for some stupid fucking lemonade. Everything seems lost but Tumblr Slacktivist gives a rousing speech, making everyone magically feel OK. Their parents bail them out and profusely apologize to society for failing as parents by raising such spoiled brats who constantly talk back to them.

Lemonade Shit makes it to the Rising Star Concert. Goofus and Scruffy Fedora of Rap Crap sing a repulsive and shallow song about how cool they are and how they fuck everyone's girlfriends. Lemonade then takes the stage but our brave heroes are so demoralized they ruin their already atrocious playing. When all seems lost the audience sings their songs and cheers for them. Scruffy Fedora abandons his bum chum Goofus and joins Lemonade Mouth and gives a half decent performance with Tumblr Slacktivist, the only one of our heroes who is not totally incapacitated.

All's well ends well for our heroes. Blond Bitch gets a new kitten that gets run over by a car the next day. New Asian Girl is still grounded. Walker Texas Ranger accepts his dad's marriage to the gold digger. Burnout Reefer keeps a fresh supply. And Tumblr Slacktivist gives an organic lemonade CEO a blowjob in exchange for a giant new music hall. Principle Asshole's heart grows three sizes that day and he raises his hands in the air. Kids will be kids. The only other thing in our hero's mouths other than lemonade is herpes sores.