Apostrophe

The Apostrophe, also known as the IQ Test, God's Revenge, and many other names, is the root of every problem known to man. It is well known that Adolf Hitler was not fond of Apostrophes, and that he eventually killed himself over them.

History

Some fucking frenchman thought it would be funny to introduce a terrible Grammatical Convention that would fuck over idiots on 4chan in the 16th century. From there, the British decided it would be funny to take it into their own hands, and it was unleashed upon the population. It is still used today.

Normal Usage

An apostrophe is used when an internet user thinks it should be used. For example, lets say the user wants to write "The dog jumps over the moon". Upon further reflection, they notice that "jumps" would look nicer with an apostrophe. The sentence becomes "The dog jump's over the moon". As can be seen, this makes for a much neater looking sentence. In 95.69% of cases, as shown by researchers at Cambridge University, people will use the apostrophe at their own discretion, without regard to proper grammatical rules.

Correct Usage

The apostrophe is actually used to denote a user's political view on a certain topic. People often mistake this for using one anywhere they please. Apostrophes can only be used in the following situations:

1. Political debates, also known as Why the fuck is this political?.

2. Online articles, as some people think that they can be fancy with their knowledge.

3. Intelligence contests, but fuck them. This is the interwebs

4. Certain Wikis.

There are exceptions, but those are the general locations. Grammer Nazi's would argue that they should be everywhere, but these supposed people are not to be trusted.

Here is a generic conversation that could hypothetically happen.

   obamacarelove87: This Black Ops 3 gameplay video is sooooo awesome. I love it!
   mrconf3d3rat3flag: BO3 is just liberal propaganda. Youre such an idiot for playing it...
   obamacarelove87: Its just a game man.
   mrconf3d3rat3flag: Theres no such thing as game's on the internet. Everything has a agenda
   obamacarelove87: Dude, chill. if you dont want to play the game, just say it. let people enjoy what they like. Stop making things political
   mrconf3d3rat3flag: They made this political by making it in the first place left wing bastard's
   HitlerNazi45: Both of you faggot cunts forgot many apostrophes and capitals. You are all fucking morons.
   mrconf3d3rat3flag: STFU asshole
   obamacarelove87: yeah wtf man

The conversation would continue for another 146 lines or so before dying and everyone moving on with their lives. Certain grammarists argue that depending on where the apostrophe is placed, that is where you will fall on the political spectrum. The Tel Aviv Formula was created for determining this.