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| {{aspie}}
| | This is wrong. |
| {{squote|im tired of you guys thinking you can ban staff when we complain about your spam}}
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| [[File:Kloeri.jpg|thumb|right|What a beautiful product of nature]]
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| If every kingdom needs a king, '''kloeri''' is king of the Land of [[Autism]]. A [[freenode]] oper and wanna-be [[gentoo]] developer, kloeri (Bryan Østergaard) spends up to 22 hours a day online, the other two reserved for [[Masturbation|self-pleasure]]. Bryan hates any and all actions that could be described as even mildly fun on the freenode network, and will [[K-line]] any chatter who breaks "his" rules. Because of his personality (or lack thereof), he has become a common target of freenode trolls (as well as accusations that his daddy fondled his little-kloeri), much as [[SlimVirgin]] is to Wikipedia.
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| It's his way or the highway, buddy: no [[ascii]], no colors, no [[transsexuals]], no forcing, and above all, '''no fun'''.
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| [[File:kloeri_wanted.jpg|center|thumb|300px|<center><BIG>'''Have you seen this man? '''</BIG></center>]]
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| ==Spergin==
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| [[File:Kloeri ascii.png|thumb|right|[https://www.assembla.com/code/dongforc-es/git/nodes/master/ascii/kloeri.txt#open Kloeri as ansi], very accurate]]
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| If there's one thing kloeri hates more than fun, it's those who cause it, especially [[dongforce]] chatters. Kloeri has shut down numerous attempts at dongforce's peaceful merge with freenode, making a bigger jackass of himself with every jupe.
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| ==="Spam"===
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| {{story|<pre>
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| 03:31 aggrav8d: what!?
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| 03:31 aggrav8d: what do you want?
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| 03:32 aggrav8d: stupid spambot.
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| 03:37 maractus: hi
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| 03:47 spammer: ji
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| 03:47 spammer: hi
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| 03:47 spammer: any spammer here?
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| 03:49 kloeri: since you guys won't take a hint and stop the spamming I'm closing this channel
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| 03:49 --- kloeri sets modes [#dongforce +Pi]
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| 03:49 maractus: whos spamming?
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| 03:50 kloeri: you should be able to guess that on your own
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| 03:50 maractus: look our irc is always under attack from irc.grove.bz
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| 03:50 maractus: some dumb meta trolsl
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| 03:50 maractus: *trolls
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| 03:50 maractus: i think the spam can be counteracted without the closing of this channel
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| 03:50 kloeri: and now you no longer have to worry about this channel
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| 03:50 maractus: ok then (?)
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| 03:51 kloeri: the real question is if your other channels should also be closed but we'll find out soon enough
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| I guess
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| 04:04 --- kloeri has changed the topic to: This channel is closed due to spam
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| 04:04 --- kloeri sets modes [#dongforce +t]
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| </pre>}}
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| ===Mass kill ([[good job opers]])===
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| [[File:Dongforce freenode.jpg|thumb|right|kloeri getting told]]
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| {{story|<pre>
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| 21:29 @kloeri: okay, you guys clearly are clearly on the wrong network as your little #wikipedia-en showed
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| 21:29 --- kloeri sets modes [##dongforce -ooo [df]maractus [df]LadyPeanut [df]Elvis_Clay]
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| 21:29 --- kloeri sets modes [##dongforce -oo gay_irl [df]Meepsheep]
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| 21:29 <-- ChanServ [ChanServ@services.] has left ##dongforce ( )
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep: :0
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| 21:29 --- kloeri sets modes [##dongforce +Pif ##you_have_got_to_be_kidding]
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| 21:29 [df]LadyPeanut: ..
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| 21:29 [df]LadyPeanut: ( '`<
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| 21:29 [df]LadyPeanut: )(
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| 21:29 [df]LadyPeanut: ( ----' '.
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| 21:29 [df]LadyPeanut: ( kloeri ;
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| 21:29 [df]LadyPeanut: (_______,'
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| 21:29 [df]Meepsheep:
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| </pre>}}
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| ===Pure rage===
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| {{story|<pre>
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| 05:02 kloeri: no more silly games
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| 05:02 kloeri: I'm tired of the spam related to this channel
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| 05:02 --- kloeri sets modes [#dongforce -oo VunKruz LadyPeanut]
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| 05:02 JimmyRustles: i haven't spammed anyone
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| 05:02 JimmyRustles: i'm just trying to rustle some jimmies
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| 05:02 kloeri: and I'm tired of you guys thinking you can ban staff when we complain about your spam
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| 05:03 +Quietlyawesome94: Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the
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| first Harry Potter Book
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| 05:03 JimmyRustles: If you pierce the eardrum, you will hear a loud pop, followed by a lifetime of silence.
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| 05:03 Meepsheep: kloeri, y you take our ops away D:
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| 05:03 JimmyRustles: what's the best way to get users to our channel?
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| 05:03 +Quietlyawesome94: "He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what
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| looked like lumpy gray glue."
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| 05:04 kloeri: if I see or hear about any more spam related to this channel I'm going to forcibly close the
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| channel and remove all of you from the network
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| 05:04 JimmyRustles: like if we can't advertise the way we do now
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| 05:04 JimmyRustles: wait
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| 05:04 JimmyRustles: im not spamming anyone
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| 05:04 JimmyRustles: you shouldn't remove me from the network
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| 05:04 kloeri: and since Meepsheep is evading an earlier kline from today he's going away now
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| </pre>}}
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| ===Kloeri is homophobic===
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| {{quote3|12:14 -!- kloeri [~kloeri@freenode/staff/exherbo.kloeri] has joined ##dickgirls
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| 12:14 < kloeri> wow, another inappropriate channel in the exact same wain?
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| ==Claims==
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| *"Freenode is not a place for wanna-be hackers to fool around on"
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| *synflood.in is an inappropriate hostname and should be [[kline|klined]]
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| *<nowiki>##</nowiki>trannies is an inappropriate channel name
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| *ascii is the devil
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| *gentoo is cool
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| ==Speaking at some nerd con==
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| <center><youtube>4KhJyEvD97s</youtube></center>
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| ==Dox==
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| {{colortext|red|'''THIS TIME IN PROPER UNICODE'''}}<br />
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| <pre>
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| Bryan Østergaard
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| Vølundsgade 31, 3. th.
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| 2200 København N
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| +(45) 33 13 78 86
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| </pre>
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| [http://kloeri.livejournal.com/16716.html Source 1]<br>
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| [http://www.degulesider.dk/p/bryan+%C3%B8stergaard/55022494?search_word=bryan%20%C3%B8stergaard Source 2]
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| ==See also==
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| *[[freenode]]
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| *[[lilo]]
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| *[[dongforce]]
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| *[http://kloeri.ytmnd.com/ hex's ytmnd dedicated to his love of freenode and kloeri]
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| *[http://kloeri.us kloeri fanpage by jakk]
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| *[http://kloeridance.ytmnd.com/ Another ytmnd]
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| *{{lj|kloeri}}
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| {{aspies}}
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| {{ircseries}}
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| {{timeline|Featured article September 6 & 7, [[2012]]|[[INTERNET HATE MACHINE]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Cat]]}}
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| [[Category:People]]
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